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<b><font size=+1><font color="#0AFF85">Famous A**holes I Have Known . .
.</font><font color="#F6FF38">chapter 3</font><font color="#0AFF85">. .
. by Tommy Mandel.</font></font></b></dt></center>
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<br><b><blink><font color="#FF3385"><font size=+1>BON JOVI</font></font></blink></b></center>
<p><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Don't let anybody tell you any
different: Johnny Bon Jovi is one smart dude.</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>He called me in to add a few
keyboard parts but mainly get better</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>sounds for his excellent keyboardist,
the glamorous David R..,</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>oops, David Bryan that is.
I dunno, I never liked those 'fuzzy' ('buzzy?')</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>synth sounds, I guess it�s because
I grew up on the Rascals, and they made</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>the Hammond B-3 almost a religion.
The B-3 has a rounded pipey kind of</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>sound, very grandiose if you
play it right and expecially if you bathe it in</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>reverb or echo, and when Rush
and Styx, and other 4 letter groups came out</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>with their Moogs and Oberheims,
I just missed the point of all that fuzz on</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>the keyboard sounds. David R..
had this Memory Moog which was</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>a cool synth, but gifted as
he was on classical piano (VERY, and he never let me</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>forget it,) he'd come upwith
these cheezy sounds on his synth; not good enough</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>for Johnny Who Would One Day
Be King.</font></font></b> <font color="#FFDF90">
<br> INSERT: David B went on to write a hit Broadway play, MEMPHIS (go DB!)
<br> and rumor is there's a new one in the works...>
<b><font size=+1> It was back in
'85 or '86, a good year for me either way. Lance Quinn, the</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>guitar heavy, he played on Every
Disco Record Ever Made, AND flies a plane,</font></font></b>
<b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>AND cooks on Rockabilly <br>(his
late set with Danny Gatton at the LoneStar</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Cafe when it was down on 13th
Street and 5th Ave. rates with Steve</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Winwood at Hammersmith in 1983
as my GuitarEnvyEpiphanies....I saw</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Hendrix in Lewiston Me. in '67
and Cream at the Backbay Theater in Boston</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>the same year, but neither show
melted me that same way....) ANYWAY</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Getting back to the subject!
(oh Lysergus, you fragmentor of consciousness &</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>continuity)...So Lance Quinn,
also a computer hacker, now had his own</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>studio in Philly, the Warehouse,
he and his partner Obie, the Junk Food</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Obie, not Obie who used to work
for Spruce Spudstein. And in '85 or '86,</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Lance was producing Bon Jovi's
2nd album and hired me to come down and</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>help. Then he did <a NAME="Nils"></a><blink>Nils
Lofgren</blink>'s FLIP album, and I got to work with the</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>amazing T Lavitz, of the Dixie
Dregs....T is the perfect blend of incredible</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>fingers, devastating sense of
humor, and self abnegating neurosis, a true</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>charmer, and probably a mystic
knight of the roundtable or something. He</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>played his PPG, this advanced
German Wavetable Synthesizer, and I played</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>my Casio. I forget who played
Hammond, and who piano, though it probably</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>was Nils himself. Lofgren
is no slouch on the keys, having played all the</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>piano on Neil Young's After
the Goldrush masterpiece of 69 or 70. I know it</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>was that year, because I used
to f* a beautiful lithe Libyan artist to it, and</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>when I wasn't lost gazing into
her Egyptian charm on a necklace swinging</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>over my eyes as she straddled
me, I was wondering "Who is this Nils</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Lofgren guy?"</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>At Lance Quinn�s Warehouse Studio
in Philly in '85 or '86 I found out:</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>He's one of the nicest gymnasts
I'll know. Sincere. His voice has that rough</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>velvety quality that I find
so compelling; if a woman talks like that, I'll do</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>anything to keep her talking
so that I can just listen to her. "Oh, you say</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>you want a divorce, and I should
sign over the kids and all our property,</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>and agree to pay 110% of my
future earnings forever to your new lover?</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Could you please repeat that,
just a little bit slower, I just LOVED the way</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>you got that husky oooooooo
into 'future'"...y'know what I mean?</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Nils had that kinda voice, and
he was very generous creatively. He writes</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>great songs and sings fabulously.</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>SSOOOOO, I played a bit of stuff
on the 2nd Bon Jovi record, not that much,</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>to be honest I don't exactly
remember any of it. I'm sure if you tally it,</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>my man David Bryan played far more
parts than I did. And they were happy. And</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>then it was time to do the NEXT
album, and David B. calls me up and sez,</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>"Hey, can I come over and Sample
your sounds and share ideas for our next</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>record?" I said "No."I was very
protective of my sounds in those days,</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>when the custom programmed bell
that you could produce on your $2k</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>synthesizer meant the difference
between working on an album project for</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>2 or 3 weeks with a big name,
and WISHING you were working on an album</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>project for 2 or 3 weeks with
a big name. So then Johnny called, and we</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>made a deal for me to come out
to their hometown rehearsal studio where</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>they were putting it all together
for the album that was to become their</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>breakthrough, Slippery When
Wet, for $350 a day, ( a lot back then) to contribute ideas and help</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>with sounds. Cool. I remember
driving in muscle cars, eating pizza, getting</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>cruised by strange NJ babes;
I never knew their significance. Finally after</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>2 days of dingy rehearsing,
Johnny said to me, "Do you have any other</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>ideas for the tunes?�" I had
to say NO, because I wasn't that into the tunes</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>I heard, and I wasn't
big on coffee or stroking in those days either. He</font></font></b>
<br><b><font size=+1><font color="#FFDF40">surprised me by saying, "Well
then we won't be needing you any more." OK.</font><font color="#80E1FF">*</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>The other thing I remember about
my Bon Jovi experience, other than the</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>incredible basso profundo of
their drummer Tico, and Richie Sambora's*</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>love of new age artist Liz Story,
was that when the record company took</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>us out to dinner, no one looked
at the menu: everyone just asked the waiter</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>to bring the most expensive
thing on the menu.</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1> Later on, when we were
about to kick off the 3 year Bryan Adams Waking</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Up the Neighbors tour, we did
a gig at 86 Street in Vancouver, a club</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>owned by Bruce Allen, Adam's
manager, (the Colonel Parker of The Great White.)</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>Johnny and David R&B. came
up onstage and we did Born To Be Wild. It was</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#FFDF40"><font size=+1>really fun.</font></font></b>
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<br><b><font color="#FF47BF"><font size=+1>*Just recently I went on 2 short
tours with Richie Sambora, who was doing his solo thing, kinda 'a vacation'
from music-as-work. The music was great, the band was too (<a href="http://www.kasimsulton.com">Kasim
Sulton</a> from Todd R. on bass and vocals, Crystal Taliefero from Melencamp
and BJoel on percussion and vocals, Everett Bradley from Stomp and Johnny
BonJ on percussion and vocals, Gioia Bruno from Expose on percussion and
vocals, Richie Supa from Aerosmith and South Beach on rhythm guitar (he
cowrote the cd's tunes with Sambo,) Ron Wikso from Cher and Foreigner on
drums, and li'l ole me on keys.) Richie is an unclassifiable person, open,
generous, enthusiastic about music and life, and especially about his family
- Heather and the baby Ava, just about 1 year old.</font></font></b>
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<br><b><font color="#35FFEB"><font size=+1><<I think I'm gonna be
misunderstood unless I say this here:</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#35FFEB"><font size=+1> You've gotta understand
guys like Johnny, or Bryan Adams....they started out just like you and
me, with no money, and alot of dreams....maybe a few MORE dreams than us,
even. . . and tons of 'drive'. So they worked really hard,
so do we. But they made it big. Now every one in their life sees them different.
"Hey, check out the millionaire, how 'bout some fer me!' kinda vibe.</font></font></b>
<br><b><font size=+1><font color="#35FFEB"> So it's almost
natural that these guys would build up a kind of protective suspicion around
their hearts and money. Face it - if they gave each of their friends, say
$20,000, and their plumber $5,000, and their mom's hairdresser $2,500 for
Christmas...Well, they COULD probably afford it, (at least for a while,
at least while they're "</font><font color="#5CFF7C">on top</font><font color="#35FFEB">.")
But first of all, their friends would start acting weird, wondering how
to act normal, maybe to earn more 'friend-money...' And then they couldn't
trust their friends..."Are they just bein nice for my money?" Second of
all, everyone working with them feels entitled to more: "hey, HE can afford
it..." It can get ugly. Third of all, show biz is littered with stories
of guys who shot up to the top, and blew ALOT of money, and went bankrupt
quickly.</font></font></b>
<br><b><font size=+1><font color="#35FFEB"> And finally, to
some of em, it IS actually a big game: How can I make this biz run the
most efficiently? How little can I make this record </font><font color="#FF40B3">great</font><font color="#35FFEB">
for? The same competitiveness that propels them up to the 'top' - it fuels
their Money-for-Value game. Type A competitive stuff.</font></font></b>
<br><b><font color="#35FFEB"><font size=+1> So when Johnny bJ said,
"Well then we won't be needing you any more, Tommy," I was surprised, but
not angry. He was being straight. Believe me.ok?</font></font></b> <b><font color="#19FFB7">>></font></b>
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