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   <title>Lederhosen in Munich</title>
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<b><font size=+2><font color="#F0725B">FAMOUS</font>
A**HOLES <font color="#F0498E">I</font> <font color="#83A4F0">HAVE </font><font color="#F08C98">KNOWN</font></font></b><font size=+1><blink><font color="#F00C0C">chapter
10</font></blink>&nbsp;&nbsp; <font color="#2AF034">&copy;Tommy Mandel
1999&nbsp;
<hr WIDTH="100%"></font><b><u>LEDERHOSEN IN MUNICH</u>&nbsp;</b> (written
on the road, back in 1996, I think)</font>
<p><font color="#50F794"><font size=+1>&nbsp; Well there's another piece
of hotel stationary in the leather desk kit here in Frankfurt and it's&nbsp;
only 9:52PM US Time, (3:52AM here), so I'll press on. I've shown the first
six pages of this epic&nbsp; destruction of my future career to a few friends,
Chris Chappel, the always cool, witty and&nbsp; urbane Brit-turned LA-turned
NYer, tour manager who counts as friends (and past tourmates)&nbsp; Pete
Townshend &amp; the Who, Mick Jones &amp; the Clash, Bruce Springstein&nbsp;
&amp; the E. St. Band, The&nbsp; Dame (David Bowie), and most recently,
Luther Vandross;&nbsp; Bill Soden, sage of the NYC&nbsp; made-to-order
music business, and Jim Boggia, (former) teenage head of experimental&nbsp;
synthesizer testing at Ensoniq Corp, (America's only surviving native Synth
company), he's also&nbsp; a scarily good singer and songwriter; They are
all amused, and all want the racy sections&nbsp; extended. As is, I'm drowning
in parentheses, but thanks for reading this far. (If you have, that&nbsp;
is.)</font></font>
<p><font color="#50F794"><font size=+1>&nbsp; Actually, that last paragraph
wore me out. Tomorrow's a big day: I've gotta fake playing organ&nbsp;
on a German TV awards show for their footballers while Bryan actually sings
"live to track."&nbsp; Tonight Marek Lieberberg took us to a great Italian
Restaurant in Frankfurt: Alter Haferkasten.&nbsp; Marek, the Jewish German
Promoter who furnished our band with lederhosen to wear for the&nbsp; encore
of his Munich show of '93. When I wouldn't don them because of their cultural&nbsp;
association (in MY mind) with Anti-Semitism, Marek and his lovely staff
walked around with long&nbsp; shamefully embarassed faces. "Ach he Hates
Germans, but zat vas 50 years ago", I could&nbsp; almost hear them thinking.&nbsp;
So the next day I took a walk and bought a $400 accordion, to&nbsp; prove
I respected (elements of) their Teutonic culture.&nbsp; The gesture was
lost on Marek and the&nbsp; lovely Ula and Anna Lu, his matching goddess/assistants;
but not on our band, who promply&nbsp; outlawed my practicing the poor
accordion anywhere within earshot. I was banished to&nbsp; telephone booths!</font></font>
<p><font color="#50F794"><font size=+1>&nbsp; In Germany we move from city
to city in a fleet of 3 Mercedes, usually piercing the autobahn&nbsp; at
about 220 klicks (130mph.) I don't feel particularly comfortable at that
speed, or in most&nbsp; Mercedes' with their tight rigidly upholstered
seats, but&nbsp; a) I don�t have a choice, and b) most&nbsp; of the airports
are closed, even to private planes by the time our show is done and we've&nbsp;
calmed down and are ready to move. Or so they tell us.&nbsp; So Mickey
Curry, our drummer, who&nbsp; deserves his own chapter, heck, he deserves
his own sitcom!! was sitting in the back of the&nbsp; Mercedes with me,
hurtling towards Dusselforf or somewhere at 130mph, engulfed in the tragic&nbsp;
sounds of me trying to learn accordion, and after about five minutes, I
had the clear realization&nbsp; that he was going to throw it out the window.
And I was attached to it.&nbsp; So I stopped.&nbsp; I actually played a
solo on that accordion on a record a few months ago. But it was for the&nbsp;
Hong Kong artist, Haaken Lee. They have taste over there. Soul. Or hey,
maybe I got better!&nbsp; PS'99: Check out Bryan Adams Unplugged&nbsp;
(the video) (if you can find it) for some of my further&nbsp; exploits
in accordionistic absurdity.)</font></font>
<hr WIDTH="100%">
<br><font color="#50F794"><font size=+1>&nbsp;THE BLUE LAGOON</font></font>
<p><font color="#50F794"><font size=+1>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; There's this
spa in Iceland, near the airport, swirling clouds of bluish steam above
hot mineral&nbsp; waters, where people go to get a jolt. From the Arctic
cold, into the volcanic mineral laced&nbsp; waters and then back into the
cold. The Blue Lagoon, they call it. We stopped there on the way&nbsp;
home in December of ninetysomething, and before I knew it, I was naked
and having the time of&nbsp; my life swimming around in the bubbly blue
brine. Carl Leighton-Pope, the European booking&nbsp; agent (and Chippendale
Baron) stole my clothes whilst I was under, hoping to catch a glimpse&nbsp;
of the fabled Mandel bum to add to his collection of Scandinavian Fantasies.
So I had to run&nbsp; back to the bus in a towel through the snow. I felt
great for days after that. But I couldn't&nbsp; communicate how good it
felt, with friends or family back home. When I'd try to describe it, the
yawns&nbsp; would begin, the eyes would wander. Later, someone gave me
the pictures of my romp that&nbsp; appear <a href="bluelagoon.html">here</a>.</font></font>
<br>
<hr WIDTH="100%">
<br><font color="#50F794"><font size=+1>&nbsp;I remember one B.Adams show,
I was movin around, shakin this and that as I held down the&nbsp; chords
on my B-3, tryin to look like I'm havin the greatest time up there, (which
can be work&nbsp; sometimes.) I think I was quite into the caffeine induced
rush that comes from a coupla cups&nbsp; and a piece of cake before we
go on stage... I may have been smiling. Well Bryan looks at me,&nbsp; his
back to the audience, and with stage lights bathing his face in some sort
of surreal back&nbsp; lighting, I see his lips askin me "What are YOU so
f*ckin happy about?!" I had to laugh. And&nbsp; hopefully I'll carry his
question to the grave.</font></font>
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<hr WIDTH="100%"><font size=+1><a href="http://www.tommymandel.com/famous.html/table.html">Table
of Continents</a></font>
<br><font size=+1><a href="http://www.users.interport.net/~tmandel/index.html">Back
to TM home page</a></font>
<br><font size=+1><a href="http://www.headspace.com">Thomas Dolby's up
to cool stuff, as always</a></font></center>

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