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Nelishnie Deti
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Helping Children with Special Needs to Find a Home
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Pasha Lilak came home from his friend's house several years ago to find his parents murdered, victims of an organized crime ring that his father was battling in a professional capacity. His grandmother took care of Pasha as he coped with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and difficulties at school.
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Born with cerebral palsy and a cleft palate, Andrei Gorshkov experienced a Dickensian childhood, floating from orphanage to orphanage. Other children made fun of him and beat him up, causing emotional problems and developmental delays. One of the caretakers made him clean the infant potties, toilets and floors and would beat him with a wet floor rag if he did not comply. Andrei had several operations to help him walk, but at times resided in hospital wards filled with alcoholics and drug abusers, where he was afraid to leave the room. He was somehow placed in a retirement home for aged veterans.
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Olga Artemova adopted Alyosha two years ago. He suffers from epilepsy and exhibits severe behavioral problems. Difficult integration into the family put Olga on the brink of bringing Alyosha back to the orphanage many times.
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The non-governmental organization "Nelishnie Deti" (“Needed Children”) was formed in Moscow in 1998 to take on such tough cases and provide psychological assistance to children and families in crisis. The goal is to keep adoptive families intact and to offer services to biological parents who feel unable to deal with their child's physical and/or mental problems and are considering sending them to an orphanage. Support is also offered to orphans like Andrei, who have experienced severe abuse.
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Children and youth attend group therapy sessions appropriate to their age. The youngsters enjoy the supportive atmosphere where they can talk about their problems with empathetic peers. A psychotherapist is there to promote responsibility and conflict resolution and help with behavioral issues.
The "School for Parents" helps them learn how to talk to and respond to adopted children. Seminars outline ways to set boundaries within the family and curb the child's bad habits in an encouraging way. The parents learn how to deal with hyperactivity and how to raise the level of their child's academic achievement. As one parent told us, "<i>Here I meet people like me and see that I am not alone. At every stage, I am always offered concrete and qualified help.</i>"
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The organization is staffed by psychologists, psychiatrists, teachers, and specialists in family law and children's rights. Professional assistance is always available via a hotline or through the Internet. Currently, over fifty families benefit from the programs described above, conducted in a friendly and family-like atmosphere. Parents hold birthday parties for the children and gather to celebrate holidays and the end of the school year.
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"Nelishnie Deti" also organizes nature trips and cultural excursions for these families. In June 2008, twelve disabled children, four parents and the Center's psychologists and psychiatrists took a trip to St. Petersburg. All were grateful for the new experience. Parents were happy to receive instruction on dealing with their children's erratic behavior outside of the home.
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RCWS offered a first time grant of $10,000 to "Nelishniye Deti" in 2008. Through their efforts in the last ten years, none of the families attending the center have given up their children and great progress has been made in all of the cases described at the beginning of this article. Pasha enrolled in a technological institute to study information technology. Andrei is working with several advocates who are assisting his efforts to improve his healthcare, education and living conditions. Olga has the support she needs and no longer considers reversing her decision to adopt.
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