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<head><title>English As She Is Spoke vs. Babelfish!</title>
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<h1>English As She Is Spoke vs. Babelfish!</h1>
In 1855 two Portuguese translators, José da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino,
produced an English phrasebook so unbelievably bad that it was reprinted for half
a century as a masterpiece of hilarity, under the title <i>English as She
is Spoke</i>. Paul Collins of McSweeney's Books has
reprinted a selection from it,
and it's well worth picking up.
<p>I thought it would be interesting to compare Fonseca and Carolino's
translations with <a href="http://babelfish.altavista.com/tr">Babelfish's</a>...
consider it a test of the capacity of artificial stupidity.
<p>The first line in each paragraph below is the original Portuguese (modernized in spelling
so Babelfish could recognize it); following are <i>what the Portuguese actually says</i>, <cite>the English as She
is Spoke translation</cite>, <tt>Babelfish's version</tt>.
<hr>
<p>Barriga cheia, cara alegre.
<br><i>A full stomach makes for a content face.</i>
<br><cite>ES: After the paunch comes the dance.</cite>
<br><tt>B: Full, expensive belly glad. </tt>
<p>É provável que já Vm. componha algum discursozinho em francês.
<br><i>Probably you are already giving some little speeches in French.</i>
<br><cite>ES: Do you compose without doubt also some small discourses in french?</cite>
<br><tt>B: It is probable that already Vm. composes some discursozinho in Frenchman. </tt>
<p>Zombo deles; o meu navio é armado em guerra, tenho equipagem vigilante e animosa; e as munições não me faltam.
<br><i>I laugh at them; my ship is armed for war; I have an alert
and courageous crew, and I have plenty of ammunition.</i>
<br><cite>ES: I jest of them; my vessel is armed in man of war, i have a vigilant
and courageous equipage, and the ammunitions don't want me its.</cite>
<br><tt>B: I jeer of them; my ship is armed in war, has vigilant and animosa
equipage; e the ammunition do not lack to me. </tt>
<p>Ainda não é tempo delas; mas os damascos brevemente estarão maduros.
<br><i>It isn't the season for them; but the apricots will soon be ripe.</i>
<br><cite>ES: It is not the season yet; but here is some peaches what does ripen
at the eye sight.</cite>
<br><tt>B: Still it is not time of them; but the damson plums briefly will be mature. </tt>
<p>Este lago parece-me bem piscoso. Vamos pescar para nos divertirmos.
<br><i>This lake looks full of fish to me. Let's have some fun fishing.</i>
<br><cite>ES: That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes.
Let us amuse rather to the fishing.</cite>
<br><tt>B: This lake seems me well piscoso. We go to fish stops in amusing them. </tt>
<p>Já não sei como me hei-de haver com esta casta de gente.
<br><i>I don't know what to do any more with this sort of people.</i>
<br><cite>ES: I don't know more what I won't with they servants.</cite>
<br><tt>B: Already I do not know as have-of having me with this chaste one of people. </tt>
<p>Vamos mais depressa. Nunca vi pior besta. Não quer andar, nem para diante, nem para trás.
<br><i>Let's go faster. I never saw a worse animal. It doesn't want to go either forward or backward.</i>
<br><cite>ES: Go us more fast never i was seen a so much bad beast; she will not
nor to bring forward neither put back.</cite>
<br><tt>B: We go more fast. Never vi worse crossbow. It does not want to walk,
nor forward, nor stops backwards. </tt>
<p>Seja a quem for que pergunte por mim, dizei-lhe que não estou em casa.
<br><i>No matter who comes asking for me, tell him that I'm not at home.</i>
<br><cite>ES: Whoever which ask me, tell him that i am no in there.</cite>
<br><tt>B: Either to who it will be that it asks for me, you say to it that I am not in house. </tt>
<p>A cavalo dado não se lhe olha para o dente.
<br><i>Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.</i>
<br><cite>ES: A horse baared don't look him the tooth.</cite>
<br><tt>B: The given horse if does not look at to it for the tooth. </tt>
<p>Dando uma queda Philippe, rei de Macedonia, e vendo a extensão de seu corpo
impressa na poeira, exclamou: "Grandes deuses! Como é acanhado o espaço
que, neste universo, ocupamos!"
<br><i>King Phillip of Macedon fell down, and seeing the outline of his
body in the dirt, said, "Good heavens! How small is the space we take up in the universe!"</i>
<br><cite>ES: Philip, king's Macedonia, being fail, and seing the extension of
her body drawed upon the dust, was cry: "Greats gods! that we may have
little part in this univers!"</cite>
<br><tt>B: Giving a Philippe fall, king of Macedonia, and seeing the extension of its body
printed in the dust, it exclamou: "Great deuses! As the space is bashful that,
in this universe, we occupy." </tt>
<p>Certo ferroupilha pedindo, em Madrid, esmola a um sujeito, este
respondeu-lhe: "Tu és moço, e melhor for a trabalhasses, que exercer
tão vergonhoso mister." "Meu senhor, acudiu o orgulhoso mendigo; eu
peço-lhe dinheiro, não lhe peço conselhos."
<br><i>A beggar in Madrid accosted a passerby, who told him, "You're
a healthy young man; it'd be better for you to work, instead of taking up
such a shameful profession." The proud beggar replied, "I asked you for
money, not advice."</i>
<br><cite>ES: A beggar, to Madrid, had solicited the pity of a passenger.
"You are young and strong, told him that man; it would be better to work
as you deliver to the business who you do.-- It is money as i beg you
reply immediately the proud beggar, and not councils."</cite>
<br><tt>B: Certain ferroupilha asking for, in Madrid, donates to a citizen, this
answered to it: "You are young, and better it will be you worked it, that to
exert so shameful necessity." "Mine Sir, rescued the proud beggar;
I ask for money to it, I do not ask for advice to it." </tt>
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