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<font face="Verdana" size="1" color="#500161">A Bold New Way to Nurture Close 
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		<font size="1"><span style="text-decoration: none">�</span></font></span></font><font size="1" face="Verdana" color="#3D3D1F"><span style="text-decoration: none">bullying</span></font></a></p>
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				<span style="letter-spacing: 4pt"><blink>RESOURCES</blink></span><b><br>
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				<i>
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				<p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0"><br>
				<b>
				<span style="font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Verdana;color:black">Breakthrough</span></b><br>
				<span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;color:black">
				&quot;Dear Larry. We had a really great breakthrough with our son 
				Tyler, who is four. It was family movie night and for the first 
				time in his life, Ben (Tyler's two-year-old brother) voiced his 
				request which was to watch a Pooh movie. Tyler wanted to watch 
				Fern Gulley, so we had the boys pick a hand with a coin hidden 
				inside to see who would get their first choice of movie. When 
				Tyler saw that the hand he picked was empty, a major temper 
				tantrum ensued. Tantrums for him are rare, so this was a big 
				deal. He called his brother the taboo names (dummy and stupid 
				baby) and ran off. Your book was on the coffee table, so there I 
				was trying to find the tantrum section. My husband said he was 
				going to step in soon if I didn't act quickly (he's been great 
				with letting me take the lead since he hasn't had the chance to 
				read the book yet!). He was very concerned about Ben hearing the 
				repeated insults. </span></p>
				<p class="MsoNormal">
				<span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;color:black">
				Anyway, I got the info I needed and went to Tyler He yelled at 
				me to leave and continued with the insults, and then said we 
				loved Ben more. I told him he couldn't say those things to Ben 
				and then focused on the grief he was feeling. He was very angry 
				at himself for picking the wrong hand, and hurt that his brother 
				didn't want to watch what he wanted. He cried a lot and finally 
				came to me to cuddle. He started crying again and lamented that 
				NOTHING would make him feel better. I said &quot;Oh, I think I know 
				one thing, let all your tears out.&quot; So he continued to cry. Then 
				a few minutes later he told me he wanted to take an &quot;only 
				playing bath&quot; (this is one of his favorite relaxation 
				activities; no soap or shampoo is allowed in the vicinity of the 
				bathroom!). </span></p>
				<p class="MsoNormal">
				<span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;color:black">
				This is where it gets good! He has a new toy seal, which is very 
				small. He was playing with this and his favorite toy, a little 
				polar bear, in the tub. Then he pulls out this large T-Rex, only 
				it is so powerful it breathes fire! He told me the T-Rex was &quot;soooo 
				angry,&quot; so I asked the T-Rex why. Tyler made Rex say, &quot;Because 
				Tyler loves his Sealy more than me!&quot; So I told Rex to ask Tyler 
				about it. Tyler laughed and said &quot;Of course I love you both the 
				same! I'm just spending more time with Sealy because he's new 
				and needs me to take care of him.&quot; A few minutes later </span>
				<span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:
  Verdana;color:black">Tyler</span><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;color:black"> 
				brings out this Styraccasaurus and says it's angry because the 
				seal and the polar bear woke him up. I asked &quot;Styraccy&quot; why he 
				was so angry about this and he said because he was having the 
				best dream of his whole life. I asked what the dream was about. 
				The answer? &quot;I was dreaming that I could have everything I 
				wanted in life, and now I woke up and I know it isn't true.&quot; 
				Then Tyler turned to me and asked why life had to be that way.
				</span></p>
				<p class="MsoNormal">
				<span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;color:black">I 
				think the key to Playful Parenting is connecting to our children 
				on their level. It makes so much sense, and it works. I think 
				that we have this notion in our heads that we should be able to 
				control what's going on, and when we can't, we resort to power 
				tactics. We used to use time-out here (In the past, Tyler's 
				name-calling would have resulted in time-out and loss of 
				privileges -- but there would have been no real change except 
				for everyone being upset). We've done away with time-outs 
				completely now, because we see that we don't need them, and life 
				is sweeter for all of us.&quot;</span><br>
&nbsp;</td>
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						<font size="1" face="Verdana"><b>Larry Cohen</b><br>
						phone: 617-713-0568</font><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0">
				<font face="Verdana" size="1">email: </font>
				<span style="font-family: Verdana; color: black">
				<a style="color: #800080; text-decoration: underline; text-underline: single" href="mailto:[email protected]">
				<font size="1">[email protected]</font></a></span></td>
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						<font size="1" face="Verdana"><b>Larry Cohen</b><br>
						1680A Beacon Street | Brookline, MA 02445 |
				Tel/Fax: 617-713-0568</font><p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0">
				<font face="Verdana" size="1">email: </font>
				<span style="font-family: Verdana; color: black">
				<a style="color: #800080; text-decoration: underline; text-underline: single" href="mailto:[email protected]">
				<font size="1">[email protected]</font></a></span><p>&nbsp;</td>
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