|
Server : Apache/2.4.62 System : FreeBSD fbsdweb2.web.rcn.net 14.1-RELEASE FreeBSD 14.1-RELEASE releng/14.1-n267679-10e31f0946d8 GENERIC amd64 User : www ( 80) PHP Version : 8.3.8 Disable Function : NONE Directory : /domains/fatshado/ |
Upload File : |
<html>
<head>
<META NAME='Keywords' CONTENT='blogchalk, English, United States, San Francisco, North Beach, Tish, Female, 46-50'>
<title>Fatshadow</title>
<!-- Begin YACCS Code (part 1) -->
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://rateyourmusic.com/bclw?b=90000008560"></script>
<script type="text/javascript">
function yaccs_c(){document.write(ycso[0]);}
function ycs(e){for(i=0;i<ycso[2];i++){
if(ycsx[i*2]==e){return ycsx[(i*2)+1];}}
if(e<ycso[3])if(ycso[2]>=ycso[1])
{return -1}else{return 0}else return 0}
quot="'";quotcq="','"
function get_comment_link(e){
cc=ycs(e);if(cc==0){yfs=ycso[9]}
if(cc==1){yfs=ycso[10]}if(cc>1){yfs=ycso[11];
if(ycso[13]){yfs+=cc}yfs+=ycso[12]}if(cc==-1){yfs=ycso[14]}
if(ycso[5]){document.write('<a target="'+ycso[4]+
'" class="yaccslink" href="javascript:void(0)"'+
' onclick="window.open('+quot+'http://'+ycso[8]+
'commentsn/blog_id='+ycso[15]+'_and_blog_entry_id='+e+quotcq+
'yaccs'+quotcq+'scrollbars=yes,resizable=yes,height='+
ycso[6]+',width='+ycso[7]+',left=80,top=80'+quot+');">'+
yfs+'<\/a>')}else{
document.write('<a class="yaccslink" href="http://'+ycso[8]+
'commentsn?blog_id='+ycso[15]+ ycso[16] +
'blog_entry_id='+e+ ycso[16] +'returnurl='+document.URL+'">'+yfs+'<\/a>')}}
function get_custom_comment_link(e,f,g,h,m,n,o,p,q,r){get_comment_link(e)}
function yaccs(e,f,g,h,m,n,o,p,q,r,ar){get_comment_link(e)}
</script>
<!-- End YACCS Code (part 1) -->
<script language="JavaScript">
<!--
// thanks to randomwalks.com for this code
function targetLinks(boNew)
{
if (boNew)
{
where = "_blank"
}
else
{
where = "_self"
}
for (var i = 0; i <= (document.links.length-1); i++ )
{
strURL = document.links[i].href
voidURL = "javascript:void(0)"
if ( strURL != voidURL )
{
document.links[i].target = where
}
}
}
//-->
</script>
<STYLE TYPE="text/css">
BODY
{
scrollbar-base-color:#E1E1BE;
scrollbar-arrow-color:#E1E1BE;
scrollbar-DarkShadow-Color:#E1E1BE;
}
</STYLE>
<style>
div.blogrollmain{
width: 170;
background:#E1E1BE;
FONT-FAMILY: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial,Lucida Sans;
FONT-SIZE: 10px;
}
.blogrollmain a {
color: #006600;
FONT-WEIGHT: normal;
text-decoration: none;
}
.blogrollmain a:hover {
color: #006600;
FONT-WEIGHT: bold;
text-decoration: underline;
}
</style>
</head>
<body bgcolor="#687C88" text="black" link="blue" vlink="purple" alink="red">
<table align="center" border="0" bgcolor="white">
<tr>
<td width="743">
<table align="center" border="0" width="730" bgcolor="white">
<tr>
<td width="724"><p><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:14pt;"><b>October
2005</b></span></font></p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e944"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
3
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
9:11<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
AM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e944"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Despite
the dreary, inevitable outcome there was one thing I
learned listening to the Roberts hearings. <a href="http://www.lectlaw.com/def2/s065.htm">Stare
decisis.</a> I love the way that sounds. It sounds like
a good name for a seventies pop rock band. It sounds
mystical. Whimsical. I was even encouraged by the idea
that a case could be made that since women have been
living with Roe v. Wade, especially younger women, they
understand it as a norm. Or something like that. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It
is one of those legal things that is subject to interpretation
and after thinking about it I began to question the
value of it. There are things that we have understood
as a norm that I'm glad we changed.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The
law is full of beautiful language. I sometimes wish
I had studied more of it. But I know that it is also
full of tedium.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
watched <a href="http://www.netflix.com/MovieDisplay?movieid=60034580&trkid=90529">The
Stepford Wives</a> this weekend. It's just bad. I watched
it because I wondered how they would portray the life
of a Stepford wife. There was an interesting opening
section featuring fifties commercials in which women
are always cooking or cleaning and dancing at the same
time. But the characters were too hyper and the plot
didn't make sense and the ideas about the lives of women
who work were too over the top. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It
always seems to me that when we think about the problems
of working women we ignore how many of those problems
could be fixed if men took on more of the tasks of running
a home and raising kids and if the workplace itself
was more family friendly. There are all these shows
now in which men take over the job of the wife. That's
how odd it seems to us, speaking in broad cultural terms.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
also watched <a href="http://search.netscape.com/ns/boomframe.jsp?query=netflix&page=1&offset=2&result_url=redir%3Fsrc%3Dwebsearch%26requestId%3Db3688796a8f85e77%26clickedItemRank%3D1%26userQuery%3Dnetflix%26clickedItemURN%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.netflix.com%252F%26invocationType%3D-%26fromPage%3DMyNS%26amp%3BampTest%3D1&remove_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.netflix.com%2F">Casa
de Los Babys</a>, which was so much more substantive
and filled with real images of the problems of the lives
of women and men and how those problems change in a
cultural context. It's a film that leaves you with lots
to discuss. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It
was kinda good to watch them both so close to one another.
I often think about how entrenched our ideas of what
it is to be a woman, or a man are. How full of mystification.
No one is served by them. They act as stare decisis
in the worst possible way. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1446)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1446"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1143" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1143"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1143"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e945"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
4
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
12:40<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
PM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e945"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Welllllll.
The good news is that I have a small piece in the new
<a href="http://www.bitchmagazine.com/">Bitch.</a> It's
about the Sims. I got paid. That was nice. The bad news
is it was really rewritten. What they did goes past
editing. Some of it is mine. But in one sentence they
reference <a href="http://www.lydia-lunch.org/">Lydia
Lunch.</a> I don't know who she is. Well now I do. But.
Jeez. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">There
is this one sentence. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<table align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;" border="0" width="358">
<tr>
<td width="352">
<p><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:9pt;">It
was social engineering with myself as the
almighty deity, a role that apparently still
compels me. </span></font></p>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
don't know what it is about that sentence but I HATE
it. I wrote:</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<table align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;" border="0" width="346">
<tr>
<td width="340"><span style="font-family:'Times New Roman'; font-size:9pt;
mso-fareast-font-family:" Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language:
EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA"><font face="Lucida Sans">It�s social engineering and I am the all-mighty
deity with the power to click. </font></span></td>
</tr>
</table>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Not
in the paragraph they used part of it, which changes
not just the words but how they were used in the piece
as a whole. And I don't like the rhythm. Rhythm is big
for me. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">So.
It is what it is. I am feeling really hurt and angry
and frustrated. This was a good thing. Being published.
Being published in a magazine that I dig. Making money
on writing. But I don't really care if anyone reads
it. It's just not that good. Maybe it was never that
good. I have to get some perspective. It's probably
not that bad. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1447)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1447"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1144" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1144"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1144"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e946"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
10
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
9:22<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
AM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e946"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I've
been curled up in a ball of cranky and, truth be told,
I still am. Not physically so much but emotionally.
Physically I've been cleaning. Cleaning always makes
me feel better. And I watched a <a href="http://www.siddharthasintent.org/Pubs/Phorpa.htm">dear
movie,</a> which concluded with the thought - if a problem can
be solved then why be sad? If it can't be solved then
why be sad? I'm paraphrasing but coming at the end of
the movie it made sense.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
wrote some text for <a href="http://www.helanderdance.org/">Salt
and Rain.</a> It was great to work with Danelle. She
called to say that it went well.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
did get a rather convoluted apology <a href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1144">from
Bitch</a>. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Yesterday,
this being North Beach, there was a parade. Today American
Indians have taken over Alcatraz. It might be a clash
of stories but everyone has their time and place. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It's
also fleet week. The Blue Angels were flying all weekend.
Noisy. Annoying. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">So.
You know. Life goes on. I'm just trying to uncurl. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1448)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1448"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1145" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1145"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1145"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e947"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
12
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
9:39<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
AM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e947"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">For
much of my blogging life everything in my day was fodder
for a post. I thought about that last week when I was
coming up the back stairs and noticed four crows sitting
on a lamp post. Kristina had done a number of <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/redzenradish/88303.html?mode=reply">birds</a>
<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/redzenradish/89408.html?mode=reply">on
a</a> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/redzenradish/91823.html?mode=reply">wire</a>
posts. I thought I might be able to put something together.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And
then there are those moments when I am walking to the
pool and I notice all the people doing some kind of
exercise. There's a tennis court behind the pool and
a large open space beside in which I've seen soft ball
games, Tai Chi, drill teams with flags, very small children
on tricycles, joggers. Yesterday three men were doing
some kind of martial art with sticks. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Or
the furniture on the side walk. Last week, in the block
before the pool, someone had put out a mattress and
box springs. It looked like it was in good shape. It
went away fairly quickly only to be replaced with a
love seat, also in good shape. The love seat is still
there. One drunken looking fellow made use of it for
a nap. The loose pillows are gone. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
still notice things and thing I might write about them.
But nothing forms. It's like the meaning making glue
jar is empty. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1449)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1449"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1146" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1146"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1146"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e948"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
13
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
9:16<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
AM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e948"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
stayed up late to finish <a href="http://books.guardian.co.uk/bookerprize2001/story/0,1090,561899,00.html">Atonement.</a>
The writing is fantastic. There are scenes so richly
drawn I will remember them as if I'd been there. And
yet, I have the same feeling I had when I finished <a href="http://www.ianmcewan.com/bib/books/saturday.html">Saturday</a>.
I just didn't connect. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
keep thinking about it. There is nothing about the writing
that I can fault. The plots in both books held my interest.
The central character in Atonement is a young girl who
loves to write. How could I not connect? </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">There
are books that you don't want to end. You don't want
to leave the characters. <a href="http://www.library.utoronto.ca/canpoetry/michaels/crit3.htm">Fugitive
Pieces</a> was like that.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">But
I keep wondering if connecting is as much about me as
a reader as it is about the book. Sometimes food doesn't
taste good, sleep isn't restful, conversation feels
like static. I don't feel like I'm that far gone. But
maybe. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1450)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1450"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1147" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1147"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1147"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e949"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
16
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
12:49<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
PM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e949"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">When
I went to bed last night I had the sense that it was
an effort in futility. I wasn't quite tired enough.
My neighbors were being noisy. I just knew sleep would
elude me. I slept in fits, never quite diving down very
deep. I had dreams that felt interesting when I first
woke up from them but didn't stay with me. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Sometimes
a dream will come back to me in the middle of a conversation,
or when I'm walking along. Some fragment will pop up.
Sometimes I can't tell if it's a dream or a memory.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">One
of the most romantic things I ever saw was when I walked
out of the guest room at <a href="http://home.earthlink.net/~wasinger/bios.html">Tom
and Susan's</a> house. She was in her studio, which
was up in a loft and he was standing blow in the living
room telling her his dream. I just wanted to have that
kind of moment with someone. Which isn't to say that
I haven't told my dreams to my friends a time or two
but ... it was the idea of a romantic relationship in
which the search for meaning was a welcome part.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Another
most romantic thing was a picture I once saw of a room
in Joan Didion and John Dunne's apartment. There
were two desk back to back in a room full of books.
I thought of that again when Kristina and I were talking
about <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/25/magazine/25didion.html?ex=1129608000&en=3f43cc3b5686e242&ei=5070">Didion's
new book</a> and <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/redzenradish/93013.html?mode=reply">a
picture of their living room</a>. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
do actually have romantic thoughts that are more carnal
in nature but ... it's been awhile. It's been almost
two years since I had any feeling for anyone and that
was a loopy and misguided thing. Truth be told I have
not quite let it go, although it's beyond pathetic that
I haven't. So I feed on dream fragments and sneak peeks.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
dunno about romance. I think it's just one in a long
list of things I've decided aren't going to happen for
me. I feel no agency, no will, no magic. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I'm
not tired. I've been awake for awhile. Eaten breakfast.
Listened to <a href="http://sundaysalon.org/larrybensky.asp">Larry.</a>
Cleaned the kitchen. Read some stuff. I feel fine. Sometimes
I go through phases in which I have to nap in the middle
of the day. Not a long nap. Fifteen, twenty minutes.
It's only been true for the last few years. Some age
thing I suppose. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">At
2:00 I'll go for a swim. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1451)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1451"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1148" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1148"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1148"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e950"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
18
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
1:45<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
PM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e950"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">After
I watched the <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/einstein/">Einstein
show</a> I watched two discs worth of the <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/elegant/">Elegant
Universe</a> and have been wondering about string theory
ever since. Not that I have the brain for it but string
theory is one of those places metaphysics and science
meet up and have a conversation. I like hangin out there.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Too
often in metaphysical circles there is a tendency to
think in hierarchy and dualism. So when we think of
<a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/elegant/resonance.html">everything
having a vibration</a> we talk about higher and lower
vibrations and raising the vibration. We talk in terms
of good vibes and bad vibes. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The
other day on <a href="http://www.startingovertv.com/">my
soap</a> one of the women asked <a href="http://www.innervisionsworldwide.com/asp/our_founder.asp">Iyanla</a>
how she was and she answered with a sting of superlatives,.
"I'm so beautiful and spectacular and (more), I
can hardly stand it." I'm paraphrasing. So all
those positive things are somewhat negated by the idea
that it's hard to stand it. I think if I told Iylana
that she might agree. But I think her idea would be
that she needed to have a higher thought. And that's
not what I'm thinking. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">None
of us is able to be positive all the time. Or negative,
for that matter. We all travel in circles. Small ones
in any given moment and larger ones that span years.
Some of are more given to a glass half full way of seeing
the world and some of us lean the other way. Generally.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">When
I go to the pool I feel instantly better. Even before
I swim. Maybe it's the light and the water. And then
there's the rhythmic moving and the breathing. There
are days when none of it gets through my bad mood but
most of the time I feel good there. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">But
then there's the other people.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Today
I met a woman in the pool. She said it was the first
time she'd been swimming in twenty years. The last time
she swam was in China. Before we were let into the pool
I noticed her doing some Tai Chi moves so I asked her
about it. She teaches it. Her English wasn't good and
I have no Chinese but we had a nice chat. Watching her
in the pool was uplifting. She was like a kid. Joyous.
She was all over the place. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">But
there are times when there are too many people in the
pool with too many agendas and I get cranky.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">String
theory talks about how a specific vibration from a specific
string happens in a context. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<table align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;" border="0" width="306">
<tr>
<td width="300" height="180">
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:9pt;">All objects, not just fundamental strings, have resonant patterns
associated with them. Pluck the string of a violin and you hear mainly
one tone. This is the string's fundamental resonant pattern, or
frequency. And the instrument's resonance doesn't stop there. The body
of the violin has resonant frequencies, which work to amplify the sound
created by the vibrating string. There's resonance in objects that
aren't musical, too. Your desk has resonant frequencies, and so does a
flagpole, and so does the Earth.
(<a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/elegant/resonance.html">more)</a></span></font></td>
</tr>
</table>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">We
are all living in a multi layered context and we have
semi permeable boundaries. I'm always trying to feel
into my own fundamental resonant frequency but I'm also
mindful of the world around me. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
had what I thought was a mild disagreement with a friend
once. Her default is to think of what an individual
needs to do to solve a problem and mine is to think
about what in the system needs to be challenged. We
both acknowledged the importance of the other person's
perspective. And, for my part. I know that sometime
all we can do is work on what we can change about ourselves.
I guess it was a bigger deal than I knew because we
are no longer friends.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The
past few years have been tough and I am so grateful
for the people who have hung in there with me. Too often
the positive thinkers can't handle difficulty. If you
need to cry and rage you don't need someone talking
in affirmations. You need someone who can be with you
and hold your hand. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And
yes. Sometimes we need to pull ourselves up. Sometiems
we need to ignore the voices of gloom and doom that
live in our head.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Anyway.
Now I have a mad crush on <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/elegant/view-witten.html">Edward
Witten.</a></span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Heh.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1452)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1452"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1149" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1149"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1149"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e951"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
20
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
1:42<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
PM</font></font></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e951"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">A
few weeks ago Bravo had a series of shows: Great Things
About Being ... and there was one on <a href="http://www.bravotv.com/Great_Things_About_Being_Fat/">being
fat.</a> I tried to watch it but it took me a few times.
They repeat shows over and over. I'd watch till I got
too irritated and then click away knowing I could catch
the rest another time. I'm pretty sure I saw it all.
The
show was irritating to me because it was full of cliches
and bawdy, lampoon humor. It's just not my thing.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">They did a kind of count down thing and one of the great
things about being fat was ... Oprah.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Uhhuh.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">That
hit me in more than one way. It seems like no matter
what size she is, Oprah will always be fat. I'm never
the best judge of size because so many people who are
considered fat, or plus sized, look fairly average to
me. And of course bigger people are the average but
I'm just saying that what the culture determines to
be fat almost never looks fat to me. I would not say
that Oprah is fat right now. But she certainly is a
person with a genetic predisposition to be fat. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I'm
not always sure how useful it is to talk about who is
fat enough to be fat. Maybe sometimes. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">There
was this commercial years ago for some kind of weight
loss thing in which the catch phrase was - "inside
every fat person there is a thin person waiting to get
out." I thought that was like suggesting that I
was somehow sub - somatic. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Being
fat is part of my identity. Maybe all the adjectives
should be stripped away and what's left is who I truly
am but being white, 52, tall, Gemini, all kinds of things
make up how I experience myself. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I don't think
there's anything wrong with people talking about Oprah
as a fat person. She is the model of the obedient fat
person. She took on an athletic level of physical activity
and hyper-vigilance about food and she still makes adjustments
when she gains weight, which she does because she's
always fighting her genetics. I don't really care what
she does. She seems happy with her choices. They aren't
choices I would make. When
I was watching the show I wondered how it would feel
to be her, work that hard and still be talked about
as fat. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Saying
I am fat should have as much impact as saying I have
brown eyes. Some people like blues eyes better. That's
OK. But saying I am fat, owning it in that way, is an
action that I take. It's like coming out. I am saying
that I am a member of group of people who are marginalized
and discriminated against. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I've
been thinking a lot about <a href="http://fattypatties.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_fattypatties_archive.html#112874544451406025">a
post by Pattie</a> with which I very much agree. I never
like tropes of pop psychology. Victim mentality? I have
sometimes judged people for what seemed like a way of
interpreting the world as a hammer with which they are
hit. And I know that some times it seems like the deck
is stacked against me. And sometimes it is. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Great
things about being anything are only part of the story
and too simple and not useful and I doubt the show ever
intended to be anything more than what it was.
I didn't watch it because I hoped for more. I'm still
thinking about it though. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1453)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1453"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1150" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1150"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1150"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e952"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
23
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
3:13<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
PM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e952"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">When
I walked out of the dressing room to get in the pool
yesterday I looked up and out of the windows. There,
on top of the twisty part of Lombard, was a trolley.
There was lots of fog so the trolley was in silhouette.
It was a post card SF moment. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I've
mentioned the group of Autistic kids who swim in the
pool on Friday mornings and the one kid who runs from
the dressing room and heads for the deeper, colder pool.
He is intercepted but then he runs up and down the steps
of the warm pool. There's lots of yelling until he settles
down. The other day he got under the buoy rope, into
the deep end. He seemed to swim well enough. What he
wanted to do was get up on one corner of the pool, dive
in and the do it again and again. And again. The pool
manager was there and is a pretty easy going guy. One
of the teachers was trying to get the kid back into
the shallow end but the kid was just so tenacious. Eventually
they indulged him. He was kinda buggin a few swimmers
and I know it might not have been the best thing to
do but I just loved how willful the kid was. Willful
and jubilant. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And
then. Another kid, who likes to play on the buoy rope
and slip over to the deep end was fully into the deep
end. The manager and the teachers were doing their best
to control all of this and still be flexible. I was
giggling. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">But
then one too many swimmers (not a kid) came into the
deep end and I decided to get out. I'd been there long
enough. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">On
Sundays I go the pool during the last hour and there
is a vibe. The staff is pacing. Ready to go home. It's
not too bad. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My
muscles are thrumming. My head is clear. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1454)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1454"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1151" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1151"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1151"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e953"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
24
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
8:57<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
PM</font></font></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e953"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I've
been defrosting the refridgerator. ALL DAY. It's such
a messy job. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">While
I was doing that I fooled around with <a href="http://www.librarything.com">something</a>
I learned about <a href="http://www.willa.com/weblog/2005/09/librarything.htm">from
Willa.</a> Kinda fun. You can store 200 books for free.
I hit <a href="http://www.librarything.com/profile/Tish">201</a>
and didn't stop me but I didn't want to keep pushing.
I added the widget to the bottom of my page so you can
see five random books. I tried to get them all right.
Sometimes I added a paperback when I have a hardback.
You can serch for them with the ISBN and I did
do some of that but it got to be a bit much. None of
my cookbooks are there. Only two poetry books. After
I was done I kept walking past books and thinking I
needed to add them. It's only ten bucks a year, or 25
for a life time. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Fun
with books. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1455)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1455"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1152" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1152"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1152"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e954"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
27
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
8:57<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
PM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e954"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">When
I heard the news about Rosa Parks I was struck by the
fact that it had been fifty years since she held fast
to her seat on that bus. I was two. So much has changed.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The
other day I was flipping channels and I came across
one of those selling-things channels. The product was
one of those hot iron hair combs. It was being used
to straighten the hair of a young African American girl.
She looked bored and mildly irritated but not in pain. Someone off camera
obviously told her to smile and she did. It made me
sad. I remember reading about hair straightening in
Macolm X's autobiography. And I remember Afros and corn
rows and dreads, all of which were part of the new natural
world we were creating, back in the day. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Things
have changed. But women like to play with their hair.
Somewhere a Caucasian girl is trying to sit still while
she get a perm. It's the tyrany of notions of beauty.
It's also just fun. It's really not a big deal but it
just hit me. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
heard <a href="http://www.timwise.org/">Tim Wise</a> on the radio the other day talking about
privalge. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<table align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;" border="0" width="389">
<tr>
<td width="383"><p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">
<font face="Arial,"><span style="font-size:9pt;">Whites,
as it turns out, take most everything for granted in this country;
which makes perfect sense, because dominant groups usually have that
privilege. We take for granted that we won't be racially profiled even
when members of our group engage in criminality at a disproportionate
rate, whether the crime is corporate fraud, serial killing, child
molestation, abortion clinic bombings or drunk driving. And indeed we
won't be. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">
<font face="Arial,helvetica"><span style="font-size:9pt;">We
take it for granted that our terrorism won't result in whites as a
group being viewed with generalized suspicion. So Tim McVeigh
represents only Tim McVeigh, while Mohammed Atta gets to serve as a
proxy for every other person who either has his name or follows a
prophet of that name.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">
<font face="Arial,helvetica"><span style="font-size:9pt;">We
take it for granted that our dishonesty will be viewed in purely
individualistic terms, while the dishonesty of others will result in
aspersions being cast upon the entire group from which they come. Thus,
Jayson Blair's deceptions at the </span><i><span style="font-size:9pt;">New York Times</span></i><span style="font-size:9pt;"> provoke howls
of indignation at any effort to provide opportunity to journalists of
color -- because after all, diversity and quality are proven by this
one man's exploits to be incompatible -- but Jack Kelley's equally
egregious fabrications and fraud at </span><i><span style="font-size:9pt;">USA Today</span></i><span style="font-size:9pt;"> fails to prompt
calls for an end to hiring white guys as reporters, or for scrutinizing
them more carefully, or for closing down whatever avenues of
opportunity have helped keep the profession so white for so long.
(<a href="http://www.lipmagazine.org/~timwise/WhiteWhine.html">more</a>) </span></font></p>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And
then last night I watched <a href="http://www.netflix.com/MovieDisplay?movieid=70023961&trkid=90529">Crash.</a>
It's just an amazing movie. Amazing. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Lots
has changed. And more needs to change. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1456)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1456"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1153" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1153"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1153"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e955"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
30
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
1:06<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
PM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e955"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
love a good philosophical conversation. It would be
fair to say that I live for good philosophical conversation.
But I gotta say. Most of the conversations about feminism,
especially the ones that happen on the web, give me
a headache. All the where-are-all-the-women-bloggers
hand wringing, teeth gnashing, yadda- yadda. It gives
me a head ache. I've never had any trouble finding them.
Are they linked? Do they get called for the pundit shout
shows? I don't really know. I don't really care. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
have come to believe that my ideas about feminism must
be ... oh ... I dunno...just, different. I mentioned
feminism to a guy a few years ago and that was the last
I heard from him. In all fairness there were other things
going on but it was the mention of feminism that
seemed to fuel his departure. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">But
I've had some loopy conversations with women as well.
It's like saying the word feminist means you hate men.
It's one thing to commiserate about pay and respect
and representation and another to take on a political
identity that might make someone uncomfortable. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Susan
Sarandon, who I admire as an artist and as an activist,
is on a commercial for age defying makeup. So all the
talk about how hard it is for woman of a certain age
to get roles in Hollywood and there she is pimping makeup.
I don't really care if she gives all the money she makes
away, that ad is tired. Instead of defying our age why
not enjoy it? </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And
then there was all the chatter about the <a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2123659/">Dove
girls.</a> Those courageous fat (cough) women (I mean
come on. They really are not fat.) who posed in their
underwear to sell ... FIRMING products. Help me. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">So
when <a href="http://www.yblogza.com/2005/10/are-women-necessary.html">Mike
points</a> to a <a href="http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=509437">couple</a>
of <a href="http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6276740.html">articles</a>
about Maureen Dowd's <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0399153322/qid=1130702988/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-1735961-2270304?v=glance&s=books&n=507846">new
book</a> I read with some trepidation. Which turned
out to be wise. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<table align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;" border="0" width="360">
<tr>
<td width="354"><span style="font-size:9pt;"><font face="Arial">Asked if it she who is gracing her own cover, Dowd only utters a street-wise, "I wish."</font></span><font face="Arial"><span style="font-size:9pt;">
</span></font></td>
</tr>
</table>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Yeah.
Um. Huh? </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">But
really. Trying to talk about how women feel about how
they look is just exhausting. Many of the smartest women
I know still poke at their face in the bathroom mirror.
It's what Ms. Dowd says about feminism that made me
want to walk into the bay. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<table align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;" border="0" width="389">
<tr>
<td width="383"><font face="Arial"><span style="font-size:9pt;">Feminism lasted
for a nanosecond, but the backlash has lasted 40 years.�
</span></font></td>
</tr>
</table>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Which
nano second was that? Was it the nano second in 1917
when women won the right to vote? Which, ironically,
was six years after Jennette Rankin became the
first woman elected to congress. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
like Maureen Dowd. Generally. Even if she does wish
she looked like a cartoon drawing. I get that she is
being tongue in cheek. Maybe I am guilty of that most
often mentioned (albeit imagined) feminist attribute.
Maybe I have lost my sense of humor. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
watched <a href="http://www.sonyclassics.com/spring/">Spring,
Summer, Winter, Fall and Spring Again.</a> It is a lovely
movie. And it gave me pause. It begins with a monk and
the small boy monk who is his student. The boy is cruel.
But I didn't think it was male cruelty. Just human cruelty.
When the boy is older a young woman comes to the monastery
in search of healing and the two begin an awkward
courtship. When the old monk discovers this he says
it is natural and that it must have been good medicine
because now the girl is well and she should go home.
The young monk is driven by desire to leave the monastery
and returns after he has murdered his wife. It isn't
clear if he was married to the young woman. As the movie
comes to an end the old monk is dead, the young monk
has become an adult and returned again to the monastery.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">There
were ways in which women seemed to cause all the trouble.
Or maybe it was just sex. Either way it gave me pause.
There is a wonderful scene in which the young monk has
a statue of <a href="http://www.iol.ie/~taeger/bio/greenye.html">Tara</a>
and well ... you should see the film. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">After
the film I thought about the antipathy between men and
women. None of us is necessary. We are all essential.
They aren't contradictory ideas. I long for a complex
feminism that articulates how the needs of life too
often bring out our cruelty.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Do
I wish I was a carton red head on a subway full of leering
men? Not really. I want to look like myself. I want
to feel comfortable in my skin. Sometimes I do. And
I want to look into the eyes of a man and forget about
power. Just for a minute or two. At least the kind of
power that needs one person to be less so that another
person can be ... necessary. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<table align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;" border="0" width="516">
<tr>
<td width="510">
<p><font face="Arial"><span style="font-size:9pt;">It's
the jelousy, the greed that's the unraveling
and it undoes al the good that could be.
- <a href="http://www.jmdl.com/lyrics/song.cfm?id=AllIWant">Joni</a></span></font></p>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1457)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1457"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1154" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1154"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1154"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e956"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">October
31
</font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005
9:55<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
AM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e956"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </span></font></a></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
had such a nice evening. Someone gave Deb tickets to
see <a href="http://www.calperfs.berkeley.edu/presents/season/2005/world_stage/guthrie.php">Arlo</a>
and she took me. Even if I had money for such things
I might not have gone, which should not suggest that
I am not crazy about him. I just don't get out much.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">He
was wonderful. I saw him somewhere in Maryland, back
in the day. Way back. So it was a sort of full circle
moment. For all my railing about celebrity culture I
must confess that when he walked on stage I was over
come with the need to walk up and hug him. I think if
I saw him on the street and told him I just NEEDED to
hug him he would hug me. He's just sweet like that.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><a href="http://www.themammals.net/">The
Mammals</a> opened and joined <a href="http://www.arlo.net/">Arlo</a>
for a few songs. They were wonderful. Tao Rodriguez-Seeger
is Pete's grandson and Arlo's son plays with Arlo. So
Pete Seeger's grandson and Woody Guthrie's grandson
were on stage together. Something about that rocks my
world.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I'm
not big on the whole Halloween thing. But <a href="http://blueridgeblog.blogs.com/blue_ridge_blog/2005/10/our_bucktoothed.html">Marie's
pumpkin </a>is too cool for school !!!</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And
... uh. I'm not sure what this means. But ...</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<table align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;" border="0" width="146">
<tr>
<td width="140">
<p><div style="border: 1px solid #cccccc; background-color: white; width: 115px; text-align: center; padding: 0 0 10px 0;"><p style="margin: 0"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/23/25822676_789bf55448_t.jpg" style="border:0;"><br /> <span style="font-size: 11px;">My <a href="http://fatshadow.com/">blog</a> is worth <b>$31,049.70</b>.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 10px;"><a href="http://www.business-opportunities.biz/projects/how-much-is-your-blog-worth/">How much is your blog worth?</a></span></p><p><a href="http://www.technorati.com/" style="border: 0px;"><img src="http://technorati.com/pix/tech-logo-embed.gif" style="border: 0px;"></a></p></div> </td>
</tr>
</table>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
found it at <a href="http://www.ashladle.org/">Maria's
Blog</a>. I could use the cash. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And
<a href="http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2005/10/30/hackery-on-parade/">Barry</a>
made me smile this morning. As did <a href="http://www.koshtra.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_koshtra_archive.html#112982148744761905">Dale</a>.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I've
been withdrawn from blogging. But this morning I am
clicking and smiling. My heart feels open. I blame Arlo.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1458)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1458"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript>
</span></font></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1155" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/October2005.htm#e1155"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1155"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">
</font></a></span></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<p> </p>
</body>
</html>