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<td width="935"><p><font face="Arial"><span style="font-size:18pt;"><b>June
2006 <a href="http://www.fatshadow.com">Home</a></b></span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1253"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">June
4 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2006
8:56 P<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1253"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1253" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/June2006.htm#e1253"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1253"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">
</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The
learning curve feels like a slope. The first challenge
of the work week was figuring out how to use the train ticket.
I failed. On the ticket it said - must be validated
before you leave the station - and I sat right beside
the validation machine watching other people punch their
ticket. The second day I tried to use it and messed
up my ticket, which I think may have been as much about
the machine as it was about my comprehension. The commute
is not fun. There's just so much time spent waiting
for the next bus/train/shuttle. But I may have found
a guy who will give me a ride home now and then. We'll
see. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The
job is interesting. The place is huge and has a great
salad bar in the cafeteria. I'm just so knocked out
by the idea of it. Sims addiction. Now a job. Kinda
whacky, kinda cool. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">They
did jam a lot of info into our heads so I am beat. I
did swim this weekend and grocery shop and eat well and watch
<a href="http://www.sonypictures.com/classics/capote/">Capote</a>.
In Cold Blood is one of the few books I've read three
times. Once for a class in my BA program and again in
my MFA. It is a pretty amazing book and it was a good
movie.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I've
been trying to write this all weekend but I've just
been too tired. I think I will adjust. I so appreciate
all the comments and support. New places can be alienating.
Every comment has felt like a touchstone. I do think
I will read and write again soon. Once I figure out
how to work the transportation.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Heh.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1556)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1556"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript></span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1254"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">June
12 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2006
7:22 P<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1254"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1254" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/June2006.htm#e1254"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1254"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">
</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
had my first TGIF. In the restaurant business Friday
is the beginning of the madness. I've been oscillating
between trying not to get too tired and being too tired.
I worry that my energy in general and my knees specifically
won't hold up but I've been OK. Until Friday. Friday
I crashed. Saturday I was achy and tired. Sunday I was
less achy but still tired. This morning I feel ... like
I could use one more day of rest. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Heh.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It's
the commute. The job is mostly fun and interesting.
The commute is getting to the bus and the train and
the shuttle. Lots of hurry up and wait. I read a lot,
which is good. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
did get to the pool last Tuesday and Wednesday. And
Saturday and Sunday. I almost fell asleep while I was
swimming but I'm always glad I go. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
was going to write this post all weekend and I felt
like I had more to write and that I could write it in
a more interesting manner. This morning I feel a bit
groggy. My typing is not so good. I think (I hope) I'll
adjust and be able to write more. I had lots of thoughts
about stuff I wanted to write last week. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Over
all I am still feeling like the whole thing is too funny.
It's not exactly that I get paid to play Sims but ...
I kinda do get paid to play Sims. Lord knows I don't
want to get <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dooced">Dooced</a>.
And the truth is there isn't much to say about the work.
But the funny and sad and kooky things that happen in
my head on any given day ... well. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">As
always. Thank you for every comment and just checking
in and just ... thank you. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1557)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1557"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript></span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1255"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">June
19 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2006
7:11 A<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1255"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1255" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/June2006.htm#e1255"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1255"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">
</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My
commute in the morning is a half an hour longer that
my commute in the evening because I'm so hyper and get
everywhere early. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My
alarm is set for 5:45 but I wake up between 5:15 and
5:30 and cannot go back to sleep. On Tuesday and Thursday
I go swimming at 6:15. the rest of the week I eat some
eggs, or fruit and yoghurt and just space out. I leave
the apartment early. When I get to the other side of
the door I often convince myself that the toaster is
still on but I have time to go back in and check. I
call this the paranoid fire drill. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">When
I get to the bottom of the hill and see that the bus
is already at the stop ( a block away ) I don't freak
out. One day last week I crossed the street just
as the driver had closed the door. I waved my bus pass
but she just kept going. Since I was early I didn't
get too angry although I have had more than a few unkind
thoughts about her this week. I get on the train fifteen
or twenty minutes early. But I get my seat. I already
have the seat I like the best. Sometimes there
is someone else in it and I get very cranky. There
is nothing special about the seat. It's like how I always
use the same locker at the pool. Habits of comfort.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">When
I get to San Carlos there is a shuttle waiting but I
wait for the next one. I've learned that it's less crowded
and I'm still a half an hour early for work. I sit and
drink tea and eat a muffin. There is usually two other
of my little cubical mates there. One of them plays
a computer game every day. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">We
get out of work at 7:00 and the train leaves at 7:20.
A very nice woman gives me a ride to the station. The
longest part of my commute is the time I wait for the
bus. Despite the fact that I allow all that extra time
in the morning this waiting feels terrible. I just want
to be home. I get home, check e-mail, clean up and go
to bed. I'd rather have the time in the morning. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
keep believing I can use these early hours to write
but I'm still pretty tired. Less tired than last week.
I type a sentence and then I sort of stare into space.
I do a lot of that in the morning now. There are things
I want to write about but I'm just too tired. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The
commute is still the hardest and most wearing part of
my day. But I read a lot. And I have always loved being
on a train. Sometimes I close my eyes. I can't quite
sleep and can't quite meditate but I rest. Sometimes
I just stare out the window. Last week the train in
front of ours hit a car. The world can change in an
instant. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The
job can be tedious but is fun for the most part. Not
like anything I've ever done. It's all very interesting.
I do still play with my own Sims on the weekend. In
fact I love playing with them all the more because I'm
playing the way I want to play. But I don't play for
quite as many hours as I sometimes would. There's laundry
to do and groceries to shop for and yadda yadda. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
am adjusting. Every day In every way. And it's all OK.
Just a little kooky. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1558)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1558"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript></span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1256"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">June
20 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2006
5:58 A<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1256"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1256" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/June2006.htm#e1256"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1256"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">
</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">If
I thought about it too much I might be freaked
out that I'm now 53, working for not much cash
at a job I have struggle to get to and not
writing. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I'm
just not going to think about it. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I'm
going to go to the pool and then go to work and if there
is a piece of chocolate cake in the cafeteria I'm going
to have it for lunch. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
never want to be too old to celebrate my birthday. In
a perfect world I'd have a great meal with a great friend.
But ya know. Sometimes a piece of cake in a cafeteria
is party enough. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1559)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1559"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript></span></font></p>
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