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<td width="941"><p><font face="Arial"><span style="font-size:18pt;"><b>July
2007 <a href="http://www.fatshadow.com">Home</a></b></span></font></p>
<p><font face="Arial"><span style="font-size:9pt;">'My country right
or wrong' ... is like saying, 'my mother drunk or sober.'
- <a href="http://">GK Chesterton </a></span></font><p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1279"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">July
8 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2007
10:08 P<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1279"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1279" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/July2007.htm#e1279"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1279"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">
</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> </font></a></span></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">
The last time she was here <a href="http://redzenradish.livejournal.com/">Kristina</a> bought
us both a copy of a <a href="http://www.thomas-allen.com/ThomasAllenPublishers/catalogue/0-88762-146-5.htm">small
book</a> and recently she bought me
<a href="http://www.randomhouse.ca/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780676975918">another</a>
by <a href="http://www.randomhouse.ca/author/results.pperl?authorid=18876">Manquel</a>.
I want to follow him around and just
listen. In the latter book he writes
snippets, one of which tells about a
protest in Nigeria over the Miss World
contest. The protesters were fundamentalists
who ran through the streets yelling,
" God is great! Down with beauty!"
Stuff like that sends me into hours of reverie.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
have no strong feelings about beauty
pageants. I have no interest in them.
They seem odd. I just don't care. I
think the women are beautiful but I
think so many people are beautiful.
And I think beauty is good. It's more
likely that I will disagree with people
about what is ugly than what is beautiful.
</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">There
is a part of me that likes the idea
of men protesting a pageant. But things
are rarely simple. I find myself wanting
to say this ... but not that. That ...
but not this. Beauty is good and worth
celebrating. The pageant format is problematic.
I can argue against them. But I don't
care enough. I just love the complexity
in the little snippet from Manquel.
I imagine him telling me the story with
a smile of irony. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Someone
wrote to me about a friend of their's. The friend is
fat but has not been ashamed of it. And then someone
said an extremely nasty thing to them and they had a
rough time. I tried to respond to the email but my reply
bounced back. Not sure why. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">In
the email I was directed to a blog on which the nasty
thing was written, which I will not link because there
are some things that are just too gross. When hatred
is so unfounded and badly articulated I just back away.
I might like to have <a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext98/cdben10h.htm#5_%20Scene%201.III.">the
verbal dexterity of Cyrano</a> when he responded to a
crass comment about the size of his nose. But I don't.
In the face of vitriol I am rendered dumb.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Well.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">
Usually. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">There
are times ...</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Beauty
matters. I guess I always hope that as people become
more , oh, I dunno, authentic, or something, their perception
of beauty expands. No pun intended. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Heh.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My
inability to write continues. I think about writing.
I read about writing. I read about reading. My life
is all meta. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Because
of the Manquel I thought I might just try to write really
small posts. Just notes from my reveries. Like the day
after the <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/living/gay/pride2007">parade</a>
I walked past a Gay Pride sign in a window. It seemed
to me that there would be no need for pride about something
so intrinsic as preference if there had never been shame.
Someone gave me a fat pride necklace but I can't wear
it. I am not proud. Nor am I ashamed. I simply am fat.
Any meaning making that gets layered onto that attribute
of physicality is just fluff. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">This
... but not that. That but not this. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I
need to rest now. Shore up for the bus and the train
and the shuttle and the job and the shuttle and the
train and the bus. I have eight more pages of the second
Manquel to take to bed and a bit more of the first for
tomorrow. Fortification. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1581)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1581"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript></span></font></p>
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