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<title>February </title>
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<p align="justify">February <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> I
remembered!</span></font></p>
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<p><a href="http://harrumph.com/rabbit/" target="_blank"><img src="rabbit.gif" width="88" height="31" border="0"></a></p>
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<p style='margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt'><span style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'>I
went to bed clutching a note to remind myself and woke up having dreams about accidentally
saying something else first. I'm such an obsessive. It's funny because it's
been a while since I had to wake up early. Today I'm helping Michael with a
catering event at the convent, and John is picking me up at 8:30. And last
night Tom called, so I stayed up till 2:30 talking to him! It was great to talk
to him but geez, now I'm all outta whack! </span></p>
<p style="margin:0in;"> </p>
<p style='margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt'><span style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'><a
href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2002/02/01/MN196890.DTL"
target="_blank">This</a> is making me so tense. It does seem amazingly deft and
it's horrifying. It is a first step in dismantling Row V Wade. And that's the
first step back to the dark back alley days of abortion. The sanctity of life
conversation is lost on me considering that we executed two people in America
last night. </span></p>
<p style='margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt'> </p>
<p style='margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt'><span style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'>A
debate about the right to have stomach reduction surgery has irrupted in the
Gab Cafe. It is a tender issue. I am strongly opposed to the surgery but I'm
equally strongly in favor of the right to choose what happens to your body.
What's sad to me is the need to not get too fat is pervasive. There are
mobility issues and I have them! But the surgery is such an extreme choice. </span></p>
<p style='margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt'> </p>
<span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Footlight MT Light";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:
EN-US;mso-fareast-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA'>The world seems <a
href="http://www.sfgate.com/news/baycitynews/" target="_blank">tense</a>, I'm
sending prayers the folks in <a
href="http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2002/02/115044.php" target="_blank">New York</a>.
Now, I'm going to a convent to cook for some nuns. Feels like the thing to do!</span><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language:EN-US;
mso-bidi-language:AR-SA'> </span>
<p> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">"To value ourselves rightly, infinitely, released from shame and
self-rejection, implies knowing that we are claimed by the totality of
life. To share in a loving community and vision that magnifies our
strength and banishes fear and despair, here, we find the solid ground
from which justice can flow like a mighty stream. Here, we find the
fire that burns away from confusion that opression heaped upon us
during our childhood weakness. Here, we can see what needs to be done
and find the strength to do it. To value ourselves rightly. To love
one another. That is to heal the heart of justice."
-- Victor Lewis</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<P><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
2 2002 9:19
AM</span></font>
</P>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> </span></font></p>
<p style='margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify'><span
style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'>I didn't do a page
yesterday because I was so caught up in the Gastric Bypass Debate at
the <a href="http://www.fatso.com/gabcafe/tmp.html" target="_blank">Gab Cafe</a>.
I spent much of the day writing long posts. It's troubling to me to discover
how many fat people are willing to consider allowing someone to cut into their
flesh in the hopes of having a body that will finally be thin. The issues are
mobility and quality of life. But really, what defines quality of life? I know
the definition changes for me all the time. </span></p>
<p style="text-align:justify; margin:0in;"> </p>
<p style='margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify'><span
style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'>I thought a lot about what defines fat
identity for me. I know that I have always been physically active, until I
started school and began spending more time sitting in class and at a computer.
In New York I worked out five days a week, not to mention running up and down
subway steps every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And, generally
speaking, I eat a healthy diet. Like any one else, some days are better than
others. And I have always been fat. More fat and less fat, but fat. The diet
thing just makes no sense to me. </span></p>
<p style="text-align:justify; margin:0in;"><span
style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'> </span></p>
<p style="text-align:justify; line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt;" align="justify"><span
style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'>Once I lived on cabbage soup for
almost two weeks in an attempt to loose weight to fit into a bathing suit and I
lost some weight. But, considering what I was eating, it seemed like I should
have lost more. </span></p>
<p style="text-align:justify; line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt;" align="justify"><span
style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'>There is a theory that, for those of
us with a certain genetic base, dieting confuses the body. It signals famine
and the body begins to hold on to its reserves. So, the more you diet, the more
the body holds on. Establishing a consistent pattern of eating and exercising
gives the body a way to level off, but that may mean that the body maintains a
level a fatness. </span></p>
<p style="text-align:justify; line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:0in;" align="justify"> </p>
<p style="text-align:justify; line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt;" align="justify"><span
style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'>Little of this data is studied because
if you don�t want to include the notion of weight loss in your study you don�t
get funding. Much of the obesity research being done is funded by the weight
loss industry. The push to define obesity as a disease is a direct result of
their greed. </span></p>
<p style="text-align:justify; line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:0in;" align="justify"> </p>
<p style="text-align:justify; line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt;" align="justify"><span
style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'>So, I haven�t looked at much else on
the Internet. Haven�t done any reading or writing. Now, I�m goin swimming! </span></p>
<p style="text-align:justify; line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:0in;" align="justify"> </p>
<p style="text-align:justify; line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:0in;" align="justify"><span
style='font-family:"Footlight MT Light"'>My new epigraph is another great share
from Pattie! Thank you!</span></p>
<p style='margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-align:justify'> </p>
<p class=MsoNormal> <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
</span></font>4<font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> 2002 9:49
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Yesterday
was fun. First I went swimming and then I went to
the </font><a href="http://www.bigmoves.org/classes.html" target="_blank"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Big
Dance</font></a><font face="Footlight MT Light">
event. I helped set up the chocolate! The PHAT Fly
girls danced and there was a belly dance group,
the name of which I can not remember but they were
great. We all ate chocolate and drank coffee and
I got to talk to Ari Asha and meet Leslie. Lot's
of the fat community and their supporters were there.
I'm starting to be more familiar with the group.
Deb came and she and I went to dinner. All in all
a pretty social and fun. It's good for me to be
social. I spend too much time alone. I just don't
always have fun in social settings. I'm not big
on small talk. But, yesterday was fun. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I
was listening to <a href="http://search.npr.org/cf/cmn/cmnpd01fm.cfm?PrgDate=02/03/2002&PrgID=10" target="_blank">NPR</a>
in the morning. <a href="http://www.vanguardrecords.com/Bradley/home.html" target="_blank">Robert
Bradley</a> was being interviewed. He's blind. He
was talking about the need to look good to make
it in the music biz and he said something about
everybody knows if you're fat you don't look that
good. All I could think was ... he's blind... but
he's been listening. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Things
seem to have gone well in <a href="http://nyc.indymedia.org/" target="_blank">New
York</a>. Some reports of <a href="http://nyc-cache.phillyimc.org/breaknews.php" target="_blank">badness</a>.
There is a <a href="http://nyc.indymedia.org/front.php3?article_id=18777&group=webcast" target="_blank">protest</a>
today in front of Enron's accounting firm. </font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
8 2002 9:49
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I've
felt that doing the page was a life affirming
thing to do. I kinda just like that it gets me writing
every morning. And it gets me out into the Internet,
reading and looking for things to share, art, ideas.
In a way, even though I'm writing about myself,
it works to push me out of my self every morning.</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">But,
this has been one of those weeks. I'm emotionally
pretty caved in. The reasons are many but the effect
has been that I just haven't felt like I had anything
to say. So I haven't been writing my page. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Generally,
when school is happening and I'm doing writing for
classes the journal gets less attention. But I can
usually get it together to mutter something. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">So,
I got e-mail from Barbara and Mary Patrick wondering
what's up. Thanks you guys. I appreciate anyone
reading the page, ever. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I'm
still a bit mooky. But ... I'm working on it. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span>
</p>
<p align="justify"> <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
9 2002 12:38
PM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Spent
some time link hopping in an attempt to cheer up.
Found an entire site for recording my mood swings.
And they have fat as a mood! Gotta love it.<a href="http://my.imood.com/" target="_blank"><img src="Mood.gif" width="15" height="15" border="0"></a>And
they have an automatic thing that tells you books
to read for your mood...I got<a href="http://www.fatso.com" target="_blank">
Fat!So?</a> Heh! If you look up the mood they
have a list of definitions. Theoretically, if you
click on the face up there by the time you will
go to my mood page, but I'm not sure about the link.
</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">More
fun had, playing with <a href="http://www.etch-a-sketch.com/html/onlineetch.htm" target="_blank">this</a>.
Couldn't figure out how to make a screen shot of
what I did but I had fun. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Minna
announced a new <a href="http://www.dollarshort.org/color/" target="_blank">coloring
contest</a>. Woo hoo!</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">So,
I just read stuff and <a href="http://www.acme.com/heartmaker/" target="_blank">played</a>,
I made this...<a href="http://www.acme.com/heartmaker/" target="_blank"><img src="Heart.gif" width="98" height="89" border="0"></a></font></span></p>
<p align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">....and
I cleaned up the apartment, went shopping, made
corn tortillas with cheddar cheese. Just tried to
reengage with things.</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Geez,
it's almost 1:00! I was ready to publish the page
and Jo Ann called. Ahhhh, the great relief of having
her to talk to.....</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> <font face="Bickley Script"><span style="font-size:20pt;"> </span></font><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
10 2002 9:38
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"> <span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Talked
for long luxurious times with Suzanne and Jo Ann.
Was feeling much better and then I found this pile
of bills that I had tucked to one side. I need money.
I'm just not dealing with this reality. Then I got
into a tumble of remembering the plan I had for
my future at NCOC. sigh. It's too foolish to go
over it. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">While
I was drifting I found <a href="http://century.conknet.com/menu.htm" target="_blank">The
Century Project</a>. I have to admit I found
it challenging in many ways. There were times when
I worried about the pornographic possibility, like
who is looking at these photos? But, what was interesting
was noticing on which photos I worried about that
and when I didn't. Actually interesting isn't the
word, sad is the word. There's just this short time
when bodies are read as sexual, and it seems so
fleeting and vulnerable. And I had issues about
beauty. So, I just kept staring. I let the images
speak to me about life and humanity.</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">And
then I found <a href="http://www.seafattle.org/APATT/apatt.htm" target="_blank">A
Place at the Table</a>. It's like a combination
of the <a href="http://www.aidsquilt.org/" target="_blank">AIDS
quilt</a> and <a href="http://www.judychicago.com/scripts/shopplus.cgi?DN=judychicago.com&CARTID=%cartid%&ACTION=add&FILE=gdinner/frameset_dinner.html" target="_blank">the
Dinner Party</a>. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Very
moving. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I
think the <a href="http://www.geocities.com/love_letter_project/" target="_blank">Love
Letter project</a> could be fun. It seems like it
kind of ground to a halt while the woman who started
it had oral surgery. Which is a good reason to not
do anything except whine. I wonder if Valentines
day will bring a flurry of entries. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">And
I visited <a href="http://www.henrysdiary.com/index.shtml" target="_blank">Henry's
Diary</a>. What kind of kooky kindergarten could
turn down this kid?!</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">With
all the phone chat and web drift I never went to
Safeway and my <a href="http://www.strausmilk.com/" target="_blank">designer
milk</a> had gone bad. (Which I didn't know until
I had poured it on my cereal yesterday...ick) So,
today I'm crunching down dry<a href="http://www.cheerios.com/about/multigrain.asp" target="_blank">
Multi Grain Cherrios</a> and a multi grain English
muffin. I'm so Multi grain and dairy less! And now
I'm going swimming! </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">But
I'm broke.</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span>
</p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span><font face="Bickley Script"><span style="font-size:20pt;"> </span></font><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
11 2002 8:53
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">This
is weird. Yesterday I was reading <a href="http://www.hanne.net/new/current.html" target="_blank">Hanne
Blank's</a> journal in the morning. She made mention
of someone that she knew and I realized that she
was talking about a girl who was visiting Marilyn.
So when Marilyn and the girl came to pick me up
I asked if she was the girl. Hanne mentions this
in her journal today, in a way that I'm having trouble
not feeling bad about. But maybe I'm projecting.
It's attaching to the general feel of yesterday.
There were people filming us swimming for a thing
about size acceptance. And there were two other
girls there to meet Marilyn. So, it was a very hyper,
public day. AND the water in the pool was cold.
I enjoyed swimming but it was a weird day. And so
I may not be reading clearly. There are some days
when I should just not go out. We ate big platter
Mexican food for lunch and I came home kind of tired
and spaced out. So, I did nothing. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I
have some writing I need to work on for school but
I'm feeling really detached. Somehow, I gotta push
through that ...and I gotta do it today. And I have
to do it early since I'm going to see <a href="http://www.commonwealthclub.org/featured.html#ensler" target="_blank">Eve
Ensler </a>tonight. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Shit,
I feel so weepy. </font></span>
</p>
<p align="justify"> "Language is a skin: I rub my language against the other. It is as if I had words
instead of fingers, or fingers at the tip of my words. My language trembles with
desire." ~Roland Barthes<BR></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
12 2002 9:53
AM </span></font></p>
<p align="justify"> <span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Whew,
Roland! Who said semiotics wasn't sexy!</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">It's
<a href="http://www.americancatholic.org/Features/mardigras/default.asp" target="_blank">Fat
Tuesday</a>! Back in the day, when I was a party
girl with a rock n roll band, I always wanted to
play on Fat Tuesday. Most of the time I went to
see <a href="http://www.steveconn.com" target="_blank">Steve</a>
play. I was a New Orleans wanna be - he is the real
real! </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Last
week I went to see Eve Ensler and I was there a
week early. My bad. Yesterday I went and there so
many people there that I couldn't get in. I did
have the opportunity to direct her to the bathroom.
Wasn't that special? </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">It
made me so cranky! I went home in deep sulk.
Fortunately Suzanne called. I was much less cranky
after I talked to her. Of course much less doesn't
seem to mean much these days. I'm still pretty cranky.</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I
think it's a bit of a worry that ever since I started
putting my mood up (click on the little face beside
the time to see my imood) I've been in a terrible
mood. This is a bad trend. That's the problem with
recording things, you see patterns. I was refreshed
once. That was also after I'd talked to Jo Ann in
the morning and Suzanne in the afternoon. Clearly
I need to talk to cool, enlightened, intelligent,
groovy chicks. And happily, I know many!</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Yesterday
there was a protest at the Supes meeting. There
are some <a href="http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2002/02/116004.php" target="_blank">photos</a>
at <a href="http://sf.indymedia.org/" target="_blank">SF
Indy media</a> and a <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2002/02/12/roundup.DTL" target="_blank">tiny
mention</a> of it in the paper. It was all about
Gavin Newsoms Draconian plans to herd the homeless
into a new version of death camps. Oh, gee, do I
sound extreme? I just resent the way he uses words
like "moral responsibility". </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Mark
sent me a <a href="http://www.dhenderson.com/Catacombs%201-28-02.htm" target="_blank">link</a>
to a page full of pictures of a gig in Boulder.
Sweet! </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">It's
also <a href="http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/2002.htm" target="_blank">Chinese
New Year</a>. So many reasons to celebrate and I'm
such a crank!</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Class
tonight. Must do more writing now.</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<P><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
13 2002 8:59
AM</span></font>
</P>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Sentences
that begin with ...</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Writing
should</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Writing
is</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Writers
should</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">should
be banned. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">OK....I
know....I sound crazy. I am. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Just
please...don't start sentences that way around me
for a while.</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">It
seems like too many times in my life I look around
and think what the fuck am I doing here. And then
I have to decide if I'm going to change things and
if I am...what am I going to change? Will moving
the furniture be enough? Or do I have to relocate?
Or do I just need to deal with what is happening?
Will that require medication?</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I
know this is all oblique. But ... I need to find
a way to deal with this funk. The best I can do
right now is try to be very detached. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
14 2002 9:16
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><a href="http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html" target="_blank">Here
</a>ya go.</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Sigh.</font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I'm
trying not to write about how much I hate <a href="http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2002/valentines/stories/history/index.html" target="_blank">Valentine's
Day</a>. </font></span></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span
style="font-family:'Footlight MT Light'; font-size:12pt;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I
wasn't going to post at all but I wanted to put
<a href="http://www.vday.org/index2.cfm" target="_blank">this</a>
link up. I mean I do live in the coolest <a href="http://www.vday.org/index2.cfm?articleID=671" target="_blank">city</a>
ever. Despite my frustrated attempts at hearing
her speak I do still think <a href="http://www.vaginamonologues.com/" target="_blank">Eve
Ensler</a> is cool and the VDay thing is pretty
great. I was surprised to read <a href="http://www.bettydodson.com/vaginano.htm" target="_blank">Betty
Dodson</a>'s thought on it all. Well, maybe not
surprised. Bemused. </font></span></p>
<P><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
15 2002 9:16
AM</span></font></P>
<table align="center" border="0" width="62">
<tr>
<td width="56" height="43"> <p align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">MY
FIRST</font></p>
<p align="center" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><a href="http://www.smattering.org/archives/00000358.php" target="_blank"><img src="fridayfive-bluegreen.gif" width="72" height="28" border="0"></a></p>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">1. What was the first thing you ever cooked? </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> Cake,
in my <a href="http://www.hasbro.com/default.asp?x=easybake" target="_blank">Easy
Bake </a>oven. There was a little box
of "cake mix" and I added water. It was ...uh...like
eating sweet cardboard. <BR>2. What's your
signature dish? </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> It
changes. I made five spice salmon that one of my
friends requests. Another wants my Tapanade.
Then there was the mac &
cheese...only
it was shells and not mac, there were
three kinds of cheese...and Deb and I made it,
so she gets some credit.<BR>3. Ever
had a cooking disaster? </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> I
was making whipped cream and I grabbed a bottle
of peppermint instead of vanilla. It was like
eating toothpaste. And once I grabbed heavy
cream at the store, took it home to make Alfredo
sauce. Turned out it was flavored with vanilla.
I didn't figure that out until I had dumped
it in the pan. Maybe I should learn to read.<BR>4. If skill and money were no object, what
would make for your dream meal? </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> My
dream meal is pretty simple, I like steak, a salad
with watercress and beets, and french fries. I
don't have a fryer at home, but smashed
potatoes
are good enough.<BR>5. What are you doing this weekend? </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> sigh</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> Maybe
I'll try to answer that on Monday.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">Since
we're talking about cooking ... I made myself a
pretty good dinner last night. Scallops, mixed greens
and Yukon golds. I planned on drinking wine and
pretending I was my own valentine but nah...I ate
in front of the computer and drank tea. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">Our
reading for Ethical Issues class is ... great...and...difficult.
Now we're reading Pound. AyYiYi. I found <a href="http://www.uncg.edu/eng/pound/canto.htm" target="_blank">this</a>,
it took me an hour to get though it. </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify"> <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
16 2002 8:22
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> My
arm is not happy. Too much point and click.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I
got a lot done yesterday, laundry, cleaned the bathroom,
did preliminary reading to do a paper for Ethical
Issues. But I also did a bunch of journal crawling.
Late last night my arm just crapped out. I took
ibuprofen, grabbed an ice pack and went to bed.
It was pretty bad. Today it's still hurting. </font></p>
<P><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
18 2002 11:28
AM</span></font></P>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> arm
hurts</span></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> can't
type</span></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> don't
worry</span></font></p>
<p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> back
soon</span></font></p>
<p>
<font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
21 2002 9:28
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> O.K.
That sucked. Four days of me with my arm on an ice
pack. I can use my fingers again. Phew. I still
don't have full range of motion and there is a weird
tingly feeling in my elbow. I'm thinking that's
nerves regrowing or something. I'm using my left
hand for most things which makes me feel weird.
I shouldn't do too much typing but I wanted to be
back for <a href="http://www.smattering.org/archives/00000373.php" target="_blank"><img src="fridayfive-bluegreen.gif" width="72" height="28" border="0"></a></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">1. Hey, baby, what's your </font><a href="http://my.horoscope.com/astromatch.asp?sign=3&step=moreAboutData" target="_blank"><font face="Footlight MT Light">sign</font></a><font face="Footlight MT Light">? Do you think it fits you pretty well?</font>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> Gemini.
Gemini rising. Libra moon. Duality times three.
Oh yeah. It fits.<br>2. What's the worst birthday gift you've ever received?
</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">A
friend bought me a book written by a woman with
whom I'd had a bad relationship. When I opened it
everyone seemed to know it was a weird thing to
give me, except her. <br>3. What's the best birthday gift you've ever received? </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I've
had a few. My friends pitched together and bought
me a scanner. Another time friends pitched together
and bought me a book of Georgia O'Keefe flowers,
printed on really great paper. It was a fifty dollar
book. Last year Marilyn gave me a ring that I had
admired once when we were shopping around. I'm pretty
lucky with friends.<br>4. What's the best way you've celebrated your birthday thus far? </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Once
I put together a rock and roll band and played in
a club in Boulder. It was the beginning of my little
career as a singer. Once I checked into a hotel
in Denver, ordered lobster from room service, a
friend sent roses, it was really romantic despite
the fact that I was alone. <br>5. What are your plans for this weekend? </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I
hate this question. It depends on my arm.
</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">
</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Right
in the middle of my paralysis the deadline for the
<a href="http://www.dollarshort.org/" target="_blank">Dollars
Short</a> <a href="http://www.dollarshort.org/color/" target="_blank">coloring
contest</a> came and I had to finish my entry with
my left hand. I had more fun working on it with my
right hand a feeling of lots of time but it was
still fun. Click on it to see me in the list. And
check out everyone's work. Truly amazing!</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><a href="http://www.dollarshort.org/color/tiffany.html" target="_blank"><img src="Coloring.gif" width="117" height="182" border="0"></a></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><img src="lines.gif" width="122" height="37" border="0"></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<P><font face="Bickley Script"><span style="font-size:20pt;"> </span></font><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
22 2002 11:00
AM</span></font></P>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> I
really don't like using my left hand. As of yesterday
I could use my right hand again and I have been.
So, today it hurts. It's taking so much longer to
recover from this than I would ever have imagined.
I find it annoying. It might be a god idea for me
to develop the use of my left hand. Right now I
have the mouse on the left and I've been playing
Spider Solitaire to try and get used to it. I'm
not used to it. I'm annoyed by it. I am
better every day.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><a href="http://www.fitnessfuncentral.com/" target="_blank">Jennifer</a>
and <a href="http://www.fatso.com" target="_blank">Marilyn</a> were
on the <a href="http://beta.kpix.com/news/local/2002/02/22/Fitness_Instructor_Claims_Weight_Discrimination.html" target="_blank">news</a>
yesterday. Jennifer is pursuing her <a href="http://www.bayarea.com/mld/mercurynews/2729285.htm" target="_blank">complaint</a>
to the SF Human Rights Commission. Thank you Jennifer!
There was a bit of film on KPIX showing Jennifer
kicking it up in her class. Marilyn was there in
her ohsopink tights. Very cool.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">On
Thursday evening Mary Patrick took me
to see <a href="http://www.kpfa.org/bell/bell.html" target="_blank">belle
hooks</a>. She talked about love. I've had her book
<a href="http://www.booksite.com/texis/scripts/oop/click_ord/showdetail.html?sid=3471&isbn=0060959479&music=&buyable=0" target="_blank">All
About Love</a> for a while and I'm reading it now.
I need to improve my attitude about life. Sitting
around for a week watching TV has not helped me
to feel like I have a purpose.I did discover that
I have <a href="http://www.ifctv.com/ifc/0,6520,CAT0-42-AID-421-,00.html" target="_blank">IFC</a>
which was fun.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I've
spent so much time wandering around the Internet
this morning that now...the day is half over and
I'm in my pajamas. GOODGAWD. </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> <span style="font-size:12pt;">2
24 2002 9:31
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">It's
probably just web infatuation but <a href="http://www.lebonze.co.uk/stuff/move.htm" target="_blank">this</a>
makes me laugh.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Spent
the day redesigning the <a href="http://www.fatshadow.com/rdoor.htm" target="_blank">refrigerator
door</a> page. Added links to some of the journals
I read and put all the stuff from the <a href="http://www.fatshadow.com/others.htm" target="_blank">others</a>
on it. Others is still up as a separate page but not
for long. I never have liked the way it looks. I'm
getting pretty good with the mouse in my left hand.
I did almost everything with one hand. Typing starts
to hurt. I went through the old journal pages and took
out most of the link rot. There were a few links
that
were impossible to take out with out changing the
text, so I just left them in. This page is next.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Some
of this was brought on by seeing all the amazing
stuff that's out there. <a href="http://phonezilla.net/3stations/" target="_blank">Paul</a>
has a new design. As does <a href="http://wannawrite.editthispage.com/" target="_blank">Veronica</a>.
I feel so not good enough. I'm thinking of downloading
Moveable type but I'm afraid I won't be able to
figure it out. I took the Open Pages thing off since
I'm not listed in the ring. I'm still not on <a href="http://jenett.org/ageless/" target="_blank">Ageless</a>
either but I just like them so...I'm still hoping.
It's odd. I never cared if strangers read my page.
In fact it worried me a little. But when you read
around you see that there is a community of sorts.
You see certain names over and over. I think I'm
feeling like the kid that doesn't fit in.
I'm 48 years old for crying out loud! But it really
does come down to ..I like them...and I want them
to like me. Pout. So when I see my name in the <a href="http://internetbrothers.com/aortal/" target="_blank">Aortal</a>
list, or on <a href="http://www.cobaltika.com/" target="_blank">Bobbie's</a>
others page, I get all excited. I'm such a geek!</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2002/02/24/MN187100.DTL" target="_blank">Jennifer</a>
is in the paper today. She was <a href="http://phonezilla.net/bigfatblog/" target="_blank">blogged</a>
yesterday. I love Big Fat Blog!!</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I
got the new epigraph from <a href="http://invisibleinc.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Invisible
Inc</a>.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> <span style="font-size:12pt;">2
25 2002 8:47
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Whoa.
I got a site meter for fun. In the process of putting
it on the page I learned something about my web
editor. I learned how to see my page in HTML. Which
also means I learned that I can practice writing
HTML in my web editor because now I know where to
do that. Now, it's a terrible time
to learn this because I can barely do the writing
I need to do before my arm craps out. And I am in
a writing program. So I need to prioritize. But,
it's something to know for the future. I know even
people that know HTML use editors, but I could be
one of the cool kids that cleans up the code. And
then there's CSS! There's
a lot to learn. I don't know why this is so important
to me. </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">Swimming
was OK. My arm cramped a bit and I had to be careful
but it was OK. It was probably good for me. </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">The
whole arm thing is bugging me. It just seems like
it's taking a long time to heal. It's been a little
better every day and today it feels almost normal.
But there is an odd tingly thing going on and some
stiffness. Of course the minute I could use my right
hand again I did. Although, I still have the mouse
on the left. </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><a href="http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/philosophy.html" target="_blank">This</a>
just makes me laugh. I found the link to it on <a href="http://www.strangechord.com/blog.html" target="_blank">Emily's</a>
site.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">The
belle hooks has me ruminating on spirituality, truth,
love, maturity. Yuck. No, but really...I am doing
some self examination relative to the ways in which
I have withdrawn from the world. It's almost like
I fake my way through so much of what I'm doing.
And part of that happens when I assess the situation
and determine that I'm not going to get what I need.
There's a chicken and an egg here. Do I determine
that I'm not going to get what I need and then shut
down or do I shut down and then determine that I'm
not going to get what I need? </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">OK.
So I gotta begin my day, get some writing done.
</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
26 2002 9:15
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">The
arm seemed to be better yesterday. It was a little
tight and there were a few pains but I got
some writing done. Then last night it woke me up
a few times. Ouch. Ouch Ouch. Shit. Generally speaking,
I'm pretty cranky about the meanings of adjectives,
like fat, white, 48, but I'm thinking this is a
48 thing. You know, like my body is just not going
to recover in a day or even a week. </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><a href="http://www.deardiary.net./cgi-bin/viewer.cgi?diary=26140&entry=1014595200" target="_blank">Kristina</a>
and I are going to start a magazine, no...a literary
journal, called The Curmudgeon Chronicles.
Featuring things like the top ten reasons to be
cranky. Like, is any body else bugged by the fact
that the first is on Friday? It seems like I just
paid a pile of bills and now I have all new ones.
And the rent is due.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">I'm
reading the Quartets for Ethical Issues. But Kristina
suggested I read The Archivist. The first chapter
is <a href="http://www.twbookmark.com/books/24/0316158720/chapter_excerpt325.html" target="_blank">here</a>
and the first paragraph pulled me in. I'd like to
get back in bed and keep reading but I have school
tonight. </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
27 2002 9:06
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light">There's
a full moon today. Apparently it is called the <span style="font-size:12pt;">Big Winter Moon, Horning Moon, Hunger Moon, Ice Moon, Red Cleansing Moon, Storm
Moon, Sun Moon, Quickening Moon, and the Wild Moon. Seems ominous. I got all
that <a href="http://www.earthcalendar.net/2002/022702.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"> </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">I
have to go over the Quartets and I might look back
at the Pound, since I missed last week and he might
come up in the conversation. And I'm going to read
more The Archivist...just coz. I read last night
till too late. And, for the second day a row...I
just wanna get back in bed. </span> </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> <font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">2
28 2002 10:02
AM</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><a href="http://www.windchimewalker.com/2-27-suzanne&carrie.html" target="_blank">Suzanne
and Carrie</a> have been blogged. Well, not blogged
so much as journaled. <a href="http://www.windchimewalker.com/" target="_blank">Windchime
Walker</a> wrote about having dinner with them in
her on line <a href="http://www.windchimewalker.com/journal.html" target="_blank">journal</a>,
including a link to a photo she took of <a href="http://www.windchimewalker.com/journal.html" target="_blank">the
kids</a> the first time they met, which I linked
to way back then! In fact I'm coming up on my one
year anniversary of doing the journal. I started
on March 20th last year.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><a href="http://www.deardiary.net./cgi-bin/viewer.cgi?diary=26140&entry=1014768000" target="_blank">Kristina</a>
sends me a wink and a nod from her journal
yesterday. Aren't we all one big on line family?
Being a curmudgeon, my quote from the Quartets would
come from Burnt Norton.</font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">"</span></font><i><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">Trying
to learn to use words, and every attempt</span></font></i></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><i><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">Is
a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure"</span></font></i></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">We're
on to <a href="http://staceys.booksense.com/NASApp/store/IndexJsp?GXHC_GX_jst=90c77146662d6160&GXHC_gx_session_id_store=852b46ac075bb5b6&s=showproduct&isbn=0811213994" target="_blank">H.D</a>.
now.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">Yesterday
was Ralph Nader's Birthday, which I learned from
Matt Gonzalez when I was listening to the Finance
committee. Matt was conducting a <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2002/02/28/MN143866.DTL" target="_blank">hearing</a>
about the notion of a livable wage in SF. It was
among the most politically hopeful things I've ever
heard.I can't say that I'm feeling that hopeful.
It seems unlikely in a pro business town like
SF, in the middle of a financial crunch, that wages
are going to go up. But it was so great to listen
to it all. Matt gets big kudos for this. Oh, and
Happy Birthday Ralph.</span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;"><a href="http://www.anitanair.net/pages/humour2.htm" target="_blank">This</a>
is pretty cute. I got it from <a href="http://phonezilla.net/bigfatblog/#" target="_blank">Paul</a>
who got it from <a href="http://www.meryl.net/blog/" target="_blank">Meryl</a>
who got it from <a href="http://justlikethat.blogspot.com/?/2002_02_24_justlikethat_archive.html" target="_blank">Anita</a>.
And since I spent time reading all those pages...it's
almost 10:00! </span></font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
<p><font face="Footlight MT Light"><span style="font-size:12pt;">Pssst.Don't
forget</span></font> <a href="http://www.harrumph.com/rabbit/" target="_blank"><img src="rabbit.gif" width="88" height="31" border="0"></a>
<font face="Footlight MT Light"> </font></p>
<p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"> </p>
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