KGRKJGETMRETU895U-589TY5MIGM5JGB5SDFESFREWTGR54TY
Server : Apache/2.4.62
System : FreeBSD fbsdweb2.web.rcn.net 14.1-RELEASE FreeBSD 14.1-RELEASE releng/14.1-n267679-10e31f0946d8 GENERIC amd64
User : www ( 80)
PHP Version : 8.3.8
Disable Function : NONE
Directory :  /domains/fatshado/

Upload File :
current_dir [ Writeable ] document_root [ Writeable ]

 

Current File : /domains/fatshado/December2005.htm
<html>

<head>
<META NAME='Keywords' CONTENT='blogchalk, English, United States, San Francisco, North Beach, Tish, Female, 46-50'>
<title>Fatshadow</title>
<!-- Begin YACCS Code (part 1) -->

<script type="text/javascript" src="http://rateyourmusic.com/bclw?b=90000008560"></script>

<script type="text/javascript">
function yaccs_c(){document.write(ycso[0]);}
function ycs(e){for(i=0;i<ycso[2];i++){
if(ycsx[i*2]==e){return ycsx[(i*2)+1];}}
if(e<ycso[3])if(ycso[2]>=ycso[1])
{return -1}else{return 0}else return 0}
quot="'";quotcq="','"
function get_comment_link(e){
cc=ycs(e);if(cc==0){yfs=ycso[9]} 
if(cc==1){yfs=ycso[10]}if(cc>1){yfs=ycso[11]; 
if(ycso[13]){yfs+=cc}yfs+=ycso[12]}if(cc==-1){yfs=ycso[14]}
if(ycso[5]){document.write('<a target="'+ycso[4]+
'" class="yaccslink" href="javascript:void(0)"'+
' onclick="window.open('+quot+'http://'+ycso[8]+ 
'commentsn/blog_id='+ycso[15]+'_and_blog_entry_id='+e+quotcq+
'yaccs'+quotcq+'scrollbars=yes,resizable=yes,height='+ 
ycso[6]+',width='+ycso[7]+',left=80,top=80'+quot+');">'+
yfs+'<\/a>')}else{ 
document.write('<a class="yaccslink" href="http://'+ycso[8]+ 
'commentsn?blog_id='+ycso[15]+ ycso[16] +
'blog_entry_id='+e+ ycso[16] +'returnurl='+document.URL+'">'+yfs+'<\/a>')}}
function get_custom_comment_link(e,f,g,h,m,n,o,p,q,r){get_comment_link(e)}
function yaccs(e,f,g,h,m,n,o,p,q,r,ar){get_comment_link(e)}
</script>
<!-- End YACCS Code (part 1) -->

<script language="JavaScript">
<!--
   // thanks to randomwalks.com for this code

 

   function targetLinks(boNew)
   {
      if (boNew) 
      {
   	where = "_blank" 
      }
      else
      { 
   	where = "_self"
      }

      for (var i = 0; i <= (document.links.length-1); i++ )
      {
      
         strURL = document.links[i].href        
         voidURL =  "javascript:void(0)"
         
         if ( strURL != voidURL ) 
          {
            document.links[i].target = where
          }

      }
   }
   //-->
</script>

<STYLE TYPE="text/css"> 

BODY 
{ 
scrollbar-base-color:#E1E1BE; 
scrollbar-arrow-color:#E1E1BE;
scrollbar-DarkShadow-Color:#E1E1BE; 
}
</STYLE>	
<style> 

div.blogrollmain{

width: 170;
background:#E1E1BE;
FONT-FAMILY: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial,Lucida Sans;
FONT-SIZE: 10px;

}
.blogrollmain a {


color: #006600;
FONT-WEIGHT: normal;
text-decoration: none;

}
.blogrollmain a:hover {


color: #006600;
FONT-WEIGHT: bold;
text-decoration: underline;

}

</style> 
</head>


<body bgcolor="#6666FF" text="black" link="blue" vlink="purple" alink="red">
<table border="0" align="center" bgcolor="white">
    <tr>
        <td width="967">
            <table align="center" border="0" width="943">
                <tr>

                    <td width="937"><p><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:14pt;"><b>December 
                        2005</b></span></font></p>
                                                    <p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e972"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">December 
                         
                        1 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005 
                                                11:21<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                                    AM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e972"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I've 
                        been told I would like <a href="http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_daily_show/index.jhtml">The 
                        Daily Show</a> but I only recently figured out when 
                        it was on. It's on twice a day so it would seem like 
                        I could have figured it out sooner. It's pretty funny. 
                        Last night I laughed out&nbsp;loud more than once. The 
                        president kinda set them up with <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/12/01/MNGHFG12BE1.DTL">his 
                        speech</a>. He makes it too easy. </span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><a href="http://www.thenation.com/blogs/thebeat?bid=1&pid=40358">Nancy 
                        Pelosi was on supporting Murtha</a>. Better late than 
                        never.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It's 
                        on at the same time local news is on. Local news is 
                        the worst when it comes to the culture of fear but I 
                        like to make sure I'm not missing anything. A week or 
                        so ago the local news had a thing on about some new 
                        tech thing, maybe an IPOD, I can't remember. The news 
                        guy was in a living room, or maybe a dorm. A big screen 
                        TV was on in the background and was it tuned in to the 
                        local news? NO! It was tuned into The Daily Show. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        think I've heard people make disparaging remarks about 
                        getting the news from comedy shows. And there's some 
                        truth to that. But it's good to laugh. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1474)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1474"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1171" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/November2005.htm#e1171"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1171"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                                                    <p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e973"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">December 
                         
                        4 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005 
                                                10:20<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                                    AM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e973"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        moved to SF from NYC shortly after <a href="http://pubs.usgs.gov/dds/dds-29/">Loma 
                        Prieta</a>. Funny since lots of people were away. But 
                        I was missing Renee and, as much as I loved NYC, I wasn't 
                        settling in. I was drifting from job to job. I lived&nbsp;in 
                        a residential hotel. A friend was driving to Boulder 
                        and I jumped in the car. From Boulder I took a train 
                        to SF. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Amtrak 
                        stops in the East Bay and there is a bus that brings 
                        you into the city. I was sitting next to an older woman 
                        on the bus as we crossed the Bay bridge. She kept talking 
                        about the earthquake and&nbsp;how <a href="http://pubs.usgs.gov/dds/dds-29/web_pages/bay_bridge.html">the 
                        bridge had collapsed</a>. If only we could make it across 
                        the bridge then everything would be OK. She was rocking 
                        her body back and forth. Her arms were pushing at the 
                        air. It was as if she was willing the bus across the 
                        bridge. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        have a kinetic memory of what it was like to be sitting 
                        next to a person using her whole body trying to control 
                        what could not be controlled. It comes to me in those 
                        moments when I am doing the same. I feel my body tighten 
                        and push. I am rocking backward and forward. My hands 
                        push at the air. It's all happening internally but it 
                        wears me out. </span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1475)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1475"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1172" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1172"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1172"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e974"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">December 
                         
                        5 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005 
                                                12:09<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                                    PM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font></p>

                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e974"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        had such a good time blogging yesterday. Blogging with 
                        the lap top is kind of a drag because it's soooooooo 
                        slow. I read one page while I wait for the next one 
                        to load. It was more like slogging. &nbsp;But I slogged 
                        along and caught up with people. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        noticed I wasn't being linked by another person who 
                        used to link to me. Ah well. It didn't hit me as hard. 
                        I have de-evolved in the TTB ecosystem from an adorable 
                        rodent to a <a href="http://www.truthlaidbear.com/ecosystem.php">slithering 
                        reptile</a>, which might have freaked me out except 
                        I read that he has changed things and many people dropped. 
                        There's a <a href="http://www.truthlaidbear.com/showdetails.php?host=http://fatshadow.com">cool 
                        graph</a> of my linking crash. I seem to have come back 
                        up and then gone back down and am now rising again. 
                        I have a way to go before I will evolve again and given 
                        all recent delinking it doesn't seem like that's likely. 
                        It's really, really, REALLY stupid to take any of this 
                        too seriously. Some of my favorite blogs are also slithering 
                        reptiles. And the graph could also accurately represent 
                        my own withdrawal from blogging. Both writing and reading. 
                        Yesterday I took my time and clicked around and remembered 
                        why I don't really want to quit. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">When 
                        I first started reading Kurt I had him linked as Sainteros. 
                        Other people had him as <a href="http://sainteros.com/weblog/">The 
                        Coffee Sutras.</a> And then he moved and changed the 
                        name to <a href="http://ahappening.typepad.com/">A Happening,</a> 
                        which put him at the top of my blog roll. But then he 
                        changed to Lucid Moment. And I changed it on my blog 
                        roll. That's a lot of yadda yadda but the point is sometimes 
                        I have trouble remembering where he is on the roll and 
                        he's one of my favorite reads.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The 
                        mechanics of linking is a whole thing. It has meaning. 
                        I think the meaning is complicated and possibly not 
                        useful. I'm still thinking about it all.  </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><a href="http://ahappening.typepad.com/lucid_moment/2005/12/my_first_christ.html">Kurt 
                        linked</a> to <a href="http://goodnightdream.blogspot.com/">a 
                        blog</a> that his ex began a short time ago so I checked 
                        it out. In <a href="http://goodnightdream.blogspot.com/2005/10/slendid-ride.html">one 
                        of her posts </a>he commented that he would watch the 
                        kids while she went to Italy. I found that so charming. 
                        And so tender. One of those moments when you marvel 
                        that people are willing to reveal so much of themselves 
                        in these text boxes. </span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><a href="http://veronicalynne.com/">Veronica's 
                        blog</a> is looking very festive. She has a link to 
                        the <a href="http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/index.html">Buy 
                        Nothing Christmas Blog</a>, which is very cool. I'd 
                        like to say I will but nothing this Christmas because 
                        I abhor commercialism. And I do. But the truth is I'd 
                        like to buy everyone I know everything they've ever 
                        wanted and I can't even afford to bake cookies. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        got my Christmas package from <a href="http://www.goyourway.net/">Karen</a>. 
                        Every year. No matter where I am. She makes sure I have 
                        something to open on Christmas. I get as much pleasure 
                        from looking at them every day as I do opening them. 
                        It doesn't matter what they are. It's about Karen. And 
                        how much I love her. It's about old friends who are 
                        there even when time goes by and you don't talk, or 
                        see one another. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Blogging 
                        felt that way yesterday. Checking in on old friends. 
                        I felt like I was leaning on the fence talking with 
                        the neighbors, hearing about the health problems and 
                        the baby news and the what we had for dinner and what 
                        we're thinking about and who we miss and how's the weather 
                        and oh dear I missed your birthday and on and on. And 
                        some people aren't writing these days. And others are 
                        back. I'm a happy little reptile. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I'm 
                        not immune to measures of my ... uh ...status. &nbsp;And 
                        it is weird to be delinked. But. It's always people 
                        who bring me back. The amazing willingness to write 
                        life out loud. The artistry that might never have a 
                        venue. It's all so ... amazing.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1476)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1476"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></font></p>

                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1173" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1173"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1173"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                                                    <p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e975"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">December 
                         
                        8 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005 
                                                12:45<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                                    PM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e975"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        had such a nice day on Tuesday. <a href="http://abeerhoque.blogspot.com/">Abeer 
                        </a>came over for lunch. It was great to catch up. And 
                        then I had <a href="http://www.redseaeastbay.com/">dinner</a> 
                        with <a href="http://harmoniousnote.blogspot.com/">Sonya.</a> 
                         I go out so rarely and don't really have people over 
                        that often these days. It was good.</span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And 
                        then on Wednesday I felt the need to tuck in. It wasn't 
                        a reaction anything negative. I'm just sucked so deep 
                        inward. I'm not sure why. I knew why. But I feel like 
                        that has changed. Maybe tucking in has just become habit. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Wednesday 
                        was a nice day too. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><a href="http://www.helanderdance.org/">Danelle</a> 
                        said it was hard to imagine me spending lots of time 
                        alone since I was so social in Boulder. I've been thinking 
                        about that. </span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Oddly 
                        enough, even trying to write about it makes me curl 
                        inward. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Heh.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Oh, 
                        well. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1477)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1477"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1174" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1174"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1174"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                                                    <p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e976"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">December 
                         
                        9 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005 
                                                11:57<font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                                    AM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e976"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><a href="http://harmoniousnote.blogspot.com/">Sonya</a> 
                        took me to <a href="http://bistrochapeau.citysearch.com/">Chapeau</a> 
                        for dinner last night.  It is the kind of place I usually 
                        like. I love French Bistro food. I like the blend of 
                        causal and home style with exquisite craft and ingredient. 
                        I have a feeling our experience might have been better 
                        but ...</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It's 
                        a small room with a lot of tables. I think, if I were 
                        them, I'd take a few out but I know they need to make 
                        money. That many tables takes away a sense of intimacy 
                        and it also makes it hard for someone my size to be 
                        seated. We arrived early so there was only one other 
                        table filled. The host asked if we had reservations. 
                        We didn't. He rushed off to check on something. I think 
                        he could have been more aware of what was going to be 
                        happening that night but I may be over critical of him. 
                        More on that later. He returned and guided us to a table 
                        in the back, which would be the table of choice since 
                        it was away from the door and it was chilly last night. 
                        But I knew I was going to be in the way there. If the 
                        place didn't get full it might have worked out but the 
                        waiter was going to be climbing over me to get to other 
                        tables. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">During 
                        the evening it became hard to discern who was who since 
                        it seemed that everyone did a bit of everything but 
                        a gentleman who was mostly&nbsp;a waiter approached 
                        and asked if we would be willing to move to a table 
                        where &quot;we might be more comfortable.&quot;  The 
                        snarky part of me wanted to say that I'd be happy to 
                        move to a table where I wouldn't be in his way but the 
                        truth was I was happy to move. </span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">When 
                        we got to the second table the host asked me if I could 
                        scoot in to make more room for the person who might 
                        sit behind me. I said something about maybe I should 
                        just leave at which point he said, no no. He came back 
                        a few times to check the space between my chair and 
                        the table behind me. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">So....for 
                        me the rest of the night was tense. The food was fantastic. 
                        Perfect. They brought us a small cup of califlower soup 
                        with white truffle oil. Just a few bites but so rich 
                        and good. I like when &nbsp;place gives you something 
                        you don't expect. I had a trout, watercress and fingerling 
                        salad (which was fantastic) and pork loin with shredded 
                        brussel sprouts and ... I actually forget but I think 
                        it might have been butternut squash. It was also great 
                        and not forgettable but I was not as able to enjoy it 
                        as I might have been if I weren't feeling like every 
                        time anyone got near me I was in the way. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">There 
                        was a party of women who started to come in shortly 
                        after we were sat. One of them didn't like how close 
                        to the door their table was and made quite a scene about 
                        it. I sat there wondering how it is that one woman can 
                        feel so entitled to comfort and I can feel like I'm 
                        taking up space that I don't deserve. The women were 
                        having a birthday party, during which they asked one 
                        of the owners to take a photo. To do this she had to 
                        stand behind me. It was a little uncomfortable. She 
                        was talking to them and leaning to get the right angle. 
                        It's the kind of thing you don't really mind. Except 
                        I was already feeling like I wanted them all to stay 
                        far away from me. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        had profiterolles for desert. Classic. Great chocolate. 
                        The food was great. And the host brought us a sorbet 
                        sampler &quot;on the house&quot;. Why? I wonder. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">As 
                        we walked out the owner held the door and came out to 
                        talk to us. He was lovely and apologetic. He talked 
                        a little too much about the problems of his day but 
                        what ever. He listened. He apologized. He kissed both 
                        my cheeks. I think they did what they could to make 
                        amends, short of the host apologizing. The owner hoped 
                        I would come back and said he would remember me. I believe 
                        he will. But I won't go back. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        would recommend it. The food is great. It's a pretty 
                        space. The ceilings are high and when the room fills 
                        up it gets boomy. Fewer people would mean less noise. 
                        Given all that, the owner is personable. I watched him 
                        go from table to table. His wife, the other owner, also 
                        seemed to know people and greet them. She wasn't quite 
                        as charming but I wasn't in the best mood. The service 
                        was attentive. Maybe a little too attentive. People 
                        kept asking us if everything was all right but I think 
                        that might have been because it obviously was not. Hard 
                        to take back that moment of being asked to scoot my 
                        fat ass in.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My 
                        choice to not be ashamed of my weight is an active choice. 
                        I make that choice in defiance of all the teasing I 
                        got as a kid, all the rejection I've experienced professionally, 
                        romantically. Despite rarely seeing anyone who looks 
                        like me in movies, or television who isn't joke. Despite 
                        being thought of as someone with a disease. Not being 
                        ashamed is an effort. So when someone asks me to scoot 
                        in for the comfort of someone who isn't even there yet, 
                        I feel humiliated. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">No 
                        one ever did sit at that table. For that matter the 
                        tables around the first table we sat in were never taken 
                        so we could have eaten there. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It's 
                        hard to make a living in restaurants. The place is small. 
                        We had the prix fix, which was a good deal. I think 
                        the place is a friendly place and on a night when they 
                        aren't busy it would be fine for everyone, of any size. 
                        More or less.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It's 
                        odd. I feel the need to be clear that the place was 
                        good and I wonder why. I got hurt. I was treated with 
                        disrespect. Why am I trying to be understanding?  </span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And 
                        thinking back to yesterday when I was trying to write 
                        about maybe needing to get out more and finding myself 
                        stuck in the writing I realize that there are reasons 
                        why I don't want to go out. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        have never let my weight stop me. I had a rock-n-roll 
                        band. I traveled. I flirted. I ....I just have never 
                        let it stop me. And now. I kinda am. But after last 
                        night I want to tuck in again.  </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1477)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1478"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></font></p>

                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1175" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1175"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1175"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e977"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">December 
                         
                        13 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">2005 
                                                12:12<font size="1"> 
                                                    PM</font></font></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e977"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My 
                        open letter to Mark Morford.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Dear 
                        Mark,</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">&nbsp;A 
                        friend sent me the link to one of <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2005/12/07/notes120705.DTL">your 
                        columns</a>. I had trouble getting through it because 
                        it was written from the assumption that there are more 
                        fat Americans and that people are fatter because we, 
                        as&nbsp;a nation, eat too much. I take issue with both 
                        assumptions. But, for the purpose of this letter, let's 
                        say there are more fat Americas and all manner of accommodations 
                        are being made for them.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">You 
                        begin and end your piece with the news of longer needles 
                        to insure that people with larger butts get a proper 
                        dosage of medicine. You say it is a sad cultural punch 
                        and I wonder why it's sad to know that people of size 
                        can get the medicine they need. As&nbsp;I read on I 
                        continue to wonder why fat people being buried with&nbsp;dignity 
                        or having chairs in which they feel comfortable and 
                        supported is anything other than the way it ought to 
                        be. If I have understood you, you think these are all 
                        signs of a pathological national hunger. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Just 
                        for a second, in the middle of your piece, I took hope. 
                        You suggest that obesity is a complicated issue. But 
                        your notion of complexity seems to be about why we eat 
                        more and exercise less and says nothing about how the 
                        diet industry, an industry that has grown during the 
                        same time frame in which we are supposed to have become 
                        so much fatter, may in fact be <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yo-yo_dieting">part 
                        of the so called problem.</a> I might project that you 
                        would say it isn't the diet, it's the people who chose 
                        the extreme diets and fail rather than choosing a moderate, 
                        healthy diet and maintaining their weight. But, just 
                        for a minute, consider that parallel of the growth of 
                        the diet industry and the growth of our butt size. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        might mention theories about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cushings_syndrome">Cushing 
                        Syndrome</a> or <a href="http://www.niddk.nih.gov/health/endo/pubs/cushings/cushings.htm">Leptin</a> 
                        in terms of why obesity is a complex issue and not as 
                        simple as an increase in gluttony but I actually agree 
                        with much of what you say about the culture and consumption 
                        as means of comfort. But many of the people who indulge 
                        in consumption are thin, or average sized. Why&nbsp;is 
                        it that pundits always want to make this kind of point 
                        on the backs of fat people?</span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">In 
                        my fifty two years of being a fat person, I've experienced 
                        discrimination in my personal and professional life. 
                        But things are much worse, much more hateful. So when 
                        I read something like what you've written I wonder if 
                        you think about how you contribute to that hatred. I 
                        am old enough to process the emotional distress from 
                        experiencing this hostility but I worry about the kids. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">A 
                        <a href="http://www.tolerance.org/teach/magazine/features.jsp?p=0&is=37&ar=609">recent 
                        article</a> in the Teach Tolerance magazine talks about 
                        a ten year old girl who learned not to make assumptions 
                        about fat people when she saw a picture of Cheryl Haworth 
                        and learned that a fat girl was also an athlete. I hope 
                        more kids are exposed to this kind of awareness. It 
                        is possible to be fat and fit. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">In 
                        the spirit of full disclosure you should know that I 
                        am publishing this on my blog. I often write about the 
                        issues of being fat on my blog. I hope that it serve 
                        to counter the idea that:&quot;Obesity is, by and large, a reaction, a response to a spiritual crisis 
and a deep-seated energetic hole in the head/heart/soul.&quot; </span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">&nbsp;</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Being 
                        fat has been part of the evolution of my head,heart 
                        and soul. I've learned a lot about assumptions. Obviously 
                        I hope that you might read this and think about how 
                        what you've written may contribute to the culture of 
                        fat hatred but I publish it on my blog in the hopes 
                        that my small base of readers will know that the assumptions 
                        you make are not useful and warrant challenging. You 
                        could  read <a href="http://tcsdaily.com/article.aspx?id=073003C">some</a> 
                        <a href="http://tcsdaily.com/article.aspx?id=100704F">other</a> 
                        <a href="http://www.obesitymyth.com/">people</a> if 
                        you wanted to challenge your own assumtions. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">&nbsp;</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:11pt;">If 
                        you saw me on the streets of our city you might not 
                        guess that I swim forty five minutes a day, six day 
                        a week and do yoga. I think food can be comforting but 
                        I've never eaten anything in any amount that made &quot;religious 
                        scowling&quot; or &quot;neocon smirks&quot; easier to 
                        bear and &quot;junk food marketing&quot; is lost on 
                        me. I do agree health is a change in the way you think. 
                        It doesn't seem healthy for me to be ashamed of the 
                        size of my ass. And if I need medication I will bend 
                        over and be grateful that the needle is long enough 
                        to make sure I&nbsp;get the medicine. </span></font></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1478)</script> <noscript></span></font><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1479"><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans"><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1176" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1176"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1176"><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                                                    <p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e978"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">December 
                         
                        15 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2005 
                                                12:35<font size="1"> 
                                                    PM</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e978"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Usually, 
                        in SF, when the ground shakes, you start looking for 
                        the nearest door frame. &nbsp;But there's some kind 
                        of construction going on down the street and my apartment 
                        is vibrating. It's not bothering me. I just keep wondering 
                        if it is what it is or if it's ...the BIG one. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Heh. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I'm 
                        reluctant to take <a href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1176">my 
                        open letter to Mr. Morford </a>off the front page because 
                        I was sort of hoping I'd hear from him. But I also want 
                        to post about <a href="http://www.steveconn.com/lyrics3.html">Steve's 
                        new song.</a> I used to act out my New Orleans wanna-be 
                        life listening to Steve play Professor Longhair and 
                        the Neville's, as well as his own <a href="http://www.steveconn.com/music/index.html">wonderful 
                        music. </a>&nbsp;</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">After 
                        my <a href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1174">bad 
                        night at the restaurant</a> I caved inward. Not exactly 
                        depressed. Just not in the mood to connect. As a result, 
                        there have been other things that I wanted to post about 
                        and didn't. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        wanted to post about <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/12/14/MNG05G7QMA1.DTL&hw=tookie&sn=001&sc=1000">Tookie</a> 
                        but there were no words. I like how <a href="http://www.ashladle.org/archives/000722.html#000722">Maria 
                        posted.</a> And <a href="http://www.ashladle.org/archives/000722.html#000722">that 
                        picture</a> is so haunting. It's beautiful. And horrible. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        thought about posting about John. No words. <a href="http://easybakecoven.net/2005/12/great-lennon-info-where-were-you-when.html">Susan 
                        did a nice post.</a> </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><a href="http://www.bigfatblog.com/archives/001761.php">Paul 
                        linked</a> to another post about the Morford and asked 
                        the question: What can be done to break up these cyclical 
                        conversation? The cycle pivots on the notion of health. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">This 
                        morning I read <a href="http://elayneriggs.blogspot.com/2005/12/partial-eclipse-of-heart-as-i-said.html">a 
                        post by Elayne</a>. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">She 
                        wrote it on Sunday. WTF have I been? Caved. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Her 
                        experience of health care is too often the experience 
                        of fat people. It makes me angry. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Someone 
                        I know had a heart attack last week. He's in his eighties.&nbsp;He 
                        was never fat. He never smoked or did drugs. He ate 
                        lots of fruit and veggies and was always physically 
                        active. His decline began about five years ago and has, 
                        in many ways been shocking. He has lived longer than 
                        any member of his family. They all died from heart related 
                        illness. So, he did lots of good self care and his genetics 
                        are doing their thing. It is what it is. &nbsp;No fault. 
                        No blame. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">His 
                        wife, a year away from eighty, is on no meds. Her only 
                        health issues are some joint pain. She smoked on and 
                        off and has always been fat. And has dieted off and 
                        on all her life. Lost weight. Gained weight. Lost weight. 
                        Gained it back.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Sigh.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Health 
                        is so individual. Whenever anyone says fat people should 
                        just lose weight I wonder if they think about how that 
                        is going to happen. And I wonder if they think about 
                        how having your body size made the issue impacts your 
                        health. I wonder a lot of things.&nbsp;The cycle isn't 
                        going to stop until people get that some people are 
                        always going to be fat and that you can be healthy at 
                        any weight and that health is not a place you arrive 
                        at. It's a process.</span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I'm 
                        not caved today. I feel fine. Just a little shaken from 
                        time to time. Things will settle down when the construction 
                        guys go to lunch.  I have the energy to connect. Look 
                        around. Think. Feel. Wonder some more. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1480)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1480"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1177" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1177"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1177"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                                                    <p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e979"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">December 
                         
                        18 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2005 
                                                11:16 A<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e979"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My 
                        wallet was stolen. I looked at my finger and realized 
                        I was very sick and then I fell off my chair. I lost 
                        my baby. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Those 
                        were my dreams on Friday night. I woke up after each 
                        dream and had trouble getting back to sleep. When the 
                        morning arrived&nbsp;I was so tired I didn't want to 
                        get up and go to the pool. But I did.  </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">When 
                        I went to the pool on Thursday I realized that the construction 
                        wasn't really construction so much as it was repair. 
                        The entire street was blocked off and torn up. &nbsp;There 
                        had been a water main break early in the morning. There 
                        was mud everywhere. They were out there again on Saturday and 
                        I learned, from some women at the pool that people a 
                        bock away from me had been without water. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It 
                        is cold. &nbsp;I've don't remember SF ever being this 
                        cold. This morning we had rain, lightning and hail. 
                        It was so intense that I moved away from the computer. 
                        All my Poppop's old phobias about storms became real. 
                        Turn off everything electrical. Stay away from water. 
                        Stay off the phone. I'm not sure why I got so scared 
                        except I seem to feel excessively vulnerable. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The 
                        rain has stopped and I'm back at the computer with CSPAN 
                        on the TV. The congress is working on Sunday. I looked 
                        out my backdoor a minute ago. There's a small river 
                        of water rushing down the street. I can't imagine what 
                        it looks like at the corner. I suspect it's a mud pit. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1481)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1481"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1178" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1178"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1178"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                                                    <p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e980"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">December 
                         
                        20 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2005 
                                                9:48 A<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e980"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>

                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Someone 
                        in my building always decorates a small tree in the 
                        back yard. When I first moved in the tree was small 
                        enough to sit on top of the picnic table we have out 
                        back. It's almost my height now. &nbsp;The ornaments 
                        are tiny. It's very sweet. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I'm 
                        pretty far away from Christmas right now. I'm just not 
                        ... enough ... for it. Or something. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1482)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1482"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1179" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1179"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1179"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                                                    <p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e981"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">December 
                         
                        24 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2005 
                                                11:28 A<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e981"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>

                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I've 
                        been listening to some of the big debate over whether 
                        or not to say Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays. I 
                        usually try to say Happy Holidays, unless I know the 
                        person is either Christian or celebrates Christmas. 
                        &nbsp;But I make cultural obtuse blunders. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">For 
                        example, I made a few Jewish Sims families. When a Sim 
                        gets to a certain level of cooking skill they learn 
                        a new dish. I had Moshe Swartz eating a pork chop and 
                        suddenly I remembered that wasn't cool. I hope he didn't 
                        get a taste for them coz he's not getting another one. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">It 
                        is a god game. But what's a Sims to do when god makes 
                        you break a law?</span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Heh. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode">&nbsp;</font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1483)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1483"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1180" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1180"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1180"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e982"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">December 
                         
                        25 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2005 
                                                8:58 A<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e982"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Every 
                        year my down stairs neighbor has what she calls a dunking 
                        party. She says it's a Swedish tradition. She and her 
                        daughter make a huge pot of vegetable soup and everyone 
                        comes over to eat soup and dunk bread in it. Every year 
                        she invites me and very year I beg off. She told me 
                        if I came at 1:00 there wouldn't be too many people 
                        so I went. It turned out to be just she and I, which 
                        was perfect. We sat in her kitchen and ate soup. Very 
                        sweet. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        spent the rest of the afternoon and evening on the phone 
                        with Jeanne and then Mom and then Danelle. Had my dinner. 
                        Brie and bread and tangerines. Steak, arugala, feta 
                        and beet salad. A glass of wine. Some egg nog for desert. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        watched <a href="http://www.netflix.com/MovieDisplay?movieid=60024994&trkid=90529">a 
                        movie</a> that was just so dreary and yet so human. 
                        The ending is not exactly happy but extremely tender. 
                        It was a good movie to watch. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Just 
                        before I went to bed I opened one of the two packages 
                        Kristina sent and so my last word of the evening was 
                        <a href="http://www.powells.com/biblio/62-0415179793-3">ooooooo</a>.</span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And 
                        so this is Christmas. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My 
                        first Christmas away from home was one of my favorites. 
                        I was in Boulder. I called Mom from a pay phone in the 
                        snow. My friend wrote a bad check so that we could have 
                        dinner in a diner and see <a href="http://www.netflix.com/MovieDisplay?movieid=60010427&trkid=189530">a 
                        movie</a>. We ended the night a bar. It was desperate 
                        and funky and yet, it was mine. I think I like it better 
                        as a memory than I did then.</span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"><a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5065208">Bruce 
                        Cockburn is on the radio</a>. Matt is going to be <a href="http://sundaysalon.org/">sitting 
                        in</a> for Larry this week.  It's Sunday morning. I'm 
                        going to go make my breakfast and open my presents and 
                        have the day that will become another memory. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Happy 
                        ... merry...you know. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Peace. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1484)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1484"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1181" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1181"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1181"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e984"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">December 
                         
                        26 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2005 
                                                8:26 A<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e984"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">After 
                        watching four seasons of <a href="http://www.sho.com/site/queer/home.do">QAF</a> 
                        in a row my Netflix queue took a turn. There's no real 
                        rhyme or reason for why I put a movie in my queue. I 
                        read about one on a blog, or a friend says something, 
                        or someone on the radio does a review. I don't pay attention 
                        to how I've lined them up. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">First 
                        I saw <a href="http://www.assassinationrichardnixon.com/">The 
                        Assassination of Richard Nixon</a>, which was a portrait 
                        of a mental collapse. There was only one moment in the 
                        film in which I got tired of watching Sean Penn. For 
                        the most part it is well acted, difficult and tragic. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Then 
                        I watched <a href="http://www.thewoodsmanfilm.com/">The 
                        Woodsman</a>. Another difficult portrait but somewhat 
                        redemptive.&nbsp;And then I watched two Mike Leigh films. 
                        <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286261/">All or 
                        Nothing</a> and <a href="http://www.veradrake.com/">Vera&nbsp;Drake.</a> 
                         Both difficult, dreary and yet utterly human. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Renee, 
                        just back from a semester in Mexico, and I were talking 
                        the other day about how the idea that things ought to 
                        get better and/or be fair is particularly American. 
                        In most countries people understand that things go wrong 
                        and may not work out. The moment of doubt is the cliff 
                        hanger and we wonder how things are going to get ... 
                        better.</span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">There 
                        is a Christmas scene in Vera Drake. Everything has gone 
                        very wrong and the usually jovial family is sullen. 
                        The young man&nbsp;who is new to the family (having 
                        just asked the daughter to marry him) says it is the 
                        best Christmas of his life. And he's sincere. He is 
                        now a part of this group of people and happy to be&nbsp;there 
                        even in their darkest hour. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I, 
                        being too typically American, watched these films with 
                        an eye for positivity. And, in all of them there are 
                        these dear moments of&nbsp;humanity. When I saw that 
                        these were the films that I would have to watch during 
                        Christmas I thought I'd be buried in depression. But 
                        something about the way people inhabit their tragedy 
                        moves me. I feel softer and more open.  </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1486)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1486"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1183" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1183"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1183"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                                                    <p><span class="rss:item"><a id="e985"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">December 
                         
                        29 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2005 
                                                12:03 PM</font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e985"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></a></span></p>

                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        finished <a href="http://www.booksite.com/texis/scripts/oop/click_ord/showdetail.html?sid=3471&isbn=1859846076&music=&buyable=0&assoc_id=&spring=">Mother 
                        Millett.</a> While I was reading it I called Millett 
                        my new best friend. She was just a little older when 
                        she was writing the book than I am now. Her mother was 
                        just a little older&nbsp;than my mother is now. All 
                        of the issues are the issues I'm experiencing, although 
                        the details are different. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My 
                        mother is remarkably healthy. Her husband is the one 
                        with the problems and there is some irony in that. He 
                        was the healthy guy. Not fat. Never smoked. Ate his 
                        fruits and veggies. Mom has weight cycled all of her 
                        life but has mostly been fat. Smoked for awhile as a 
                        young adult and then once in awhile after she quit. 
                        He is a few years older and she is the care giver now. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Since 
                        the time I went to help take care of him after one surgery 
                        I've been thinking I need to move closer. But I can't 
                        quite figure out how to pull it off, or if I need to 
                        do it. They are embedded in a community of seniors with 
                        a structure of care giving. They don't need me now and 
                        they may never. But the emotional pull is strong.  </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">My 
                        relationship with Mom is one of the more complicated 
                        and difficult relationships of my life, which is not 
                        at all unusual. Millett writes in an internal, observational 
                        manner. I feel so much of what she went through. The 
                        anger. The way she loses herself in the presence of 
                        her mother. The need to save.</span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The 
                        book positions strongly against institutionalization. 
                        And that is where my uncertainty about being with my 
                        Mom ends. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        remember going to visit my mother's mother in the home. 
                        It may be an embellished memory but I remember going 
                        down stairs and so I remember it as a basement. She 
                        was sitting in a chair in the middle of a room in which 
                        there were other elders. As we got closer I realized 
                        that she was tied to her chair. She was&nbsp;holding 
                        the newspaper, as she did every morning, but she was 
                        holding it upside down. </span></font></p>
                        <table align="center" border="0" width="448">
                            <tr>
                                <td width="442">
                                    <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:9pt;">In the course of springing her mother, Kate discovers that the use of
&quot;restraint&quot;--strapping residents into their beds--is a not uncommon
practice at St. Anne's. Looking over the nursing notes in her mother's
file, she finds that such treatment was recommended for
Helen--&quot;specifically a black belt, a great hunk of rough fabric like a
huge karate belt with which one is tied to the bed and made immobile
and helpless&quot;; the notes convey that Helen &quot;does not cooperate in
taking every medication put before her...and even strikes the hand that
would administer, refuses many blandishments, is not adjusting. An
unwilling resident, who from the moment she entered the place seems to
have provoked the admitting nurse.&quot; There is a palpable sense of
personal pride in Millett's account; like daughter like mother, one
might say. But there is also a very important current of indignation
that propels this book, and Millett's other work, down its wild course.(<a href="http://www.thenation.com/doc/20010723/frey">more</a>)</span></font></td>
                            </tr>
                        </table>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        don't think I can let that happen to my mother. And 
                        so I wait for news. Details of doctor's visits. I listen 
                        as my friends talk about their own mothers. <a href="http://easybakecoven.net/2005/12/unconventional-marriage-conventional.html">I 
                        read</a> more <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/redzenradish/98504.html?mode=reply">of 
                        them.</a> I have a few friends who have already lost 
                        their mothers and two who lost them in car accidents. 
                        <a href="http://jacketmagazine.com/26/towl-wass.html">Jo 
                        Ann's book</a> is so wonderful. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">And 
                        I am aware of my own age in relation to all of this. 
                        So Kate was my new best friend for awhile. Comforting 
                        and confronting me with her own memory. Now I'm onto 
                        <a href="http://www.randomhouse.com/knopf/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781400043149&view=excerpt">Didion</a>. 
                        Different. And yet somehow the same. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1487)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1487"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1184" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1184"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1184"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e986"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">December 
                         
                        31 </font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">2005 
                                                10:45 A<font size="1">M</font></font></span><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;"> </span></font><span class="rss:item"><a id="e986"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;</font><font face="Lucida Sans" size="1">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></font></a></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">The 
                        section of Powell that had been closed and torn up to 
                        fix the water main break is open again. There are still 
                        a few places on the curb that need work but the sound 
                        of road work is not the first sound of the morning. 
                        People have carved their initials into the cement. There 
                        is a heart with M + M in it. The work seemed to take 
                        a long time but was, no doubt, hampered by the weather. 
                        </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Tuesday 
                        at the pool was crowded so I left after twenty minutes. 
                        Wednesday I got into a conversation with a neighbor 
                        and, although we were moving the whole time, I wasn't 
                        swimming. Thursday and Friday I got in my forty five 
                        minutes of back and forth. This morning it was just 
                        four of us for a half an hour. I worried when two more 
                        people got in but we all managed to give&nbsp;each other 
                        space.  </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        couldn't find my copy of <a href="http://www.booksite.com/texis/scripts/oop/click_ord/showdetail.html?sid=3471&isbn=0864922493&music=&buyable=0&assoc_id=&spring=">Fugitive 
                        Pieces</a> for three days. It's not like my apartment 
                        is big. I have four shelves full of books and two tables 
                        stacked and a row on the shelf above my desk. And a 
                        few on the table beside my chair. I wandered from shelf 
                        to stack to shelf looking for the book. And then I gave 
                        up and then I wandered some more. Where was it? Did 
                        I lend it to someone and they didn't give it back? </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Eventually 
                        I found it. Tonight I had the same problem with <a href="http://www.randomhouse.com/knopf/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780679745396">After 
                        Henry</a>. It makes me a feel a bit dotty. Part of the 
                        problem is that I get distracted by books. I start looking 
                        at something and forget what I'm doing. As much as I 
                        envy Kristina's collection I'm sure I'd never be able 
                        to find anything.  </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Didion 
                        has always sent me to the dictionary. Sometimes I've 
                        heard the word and think I know what it means but need 
                        to be sure. In <a href="http://www.randomhouse.com/knopf/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781400043149&view=excerpt">this 
                        book</a> I found <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=lacunae">lacunae</a> 
                        and <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=anodyne">anodyne</a>.</span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Early 
                        in the evening, last night, I became tired of the sound of the TV. 
                        I turned on NPR and made some red bean and kale soup 
                        with <a href="http://www.aidells.com/sausages/descriptions/details.cfm">sausage</a>. 
                        And then I turned off the radio and read with just the sound 
                        of rain on the window. At ten I watched <a href="http://www.cbs.com/primetime/numb3rs/">Numbers</a>. 
                        I love the math. I don't understand the math but I love 
                        listening to it.</span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">This 
                        morning on the news I heard that <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2005/12/30/national/a114658S78.DTL&hw=extra+second&sn=001&sc=1000">today 
                        will be a second longer.</a> The extra second was needed 
                        because the earth is slowing on its axis. It seemed 
                        like something rich with metaphor. I thought about it 
                        while I swam. I've come up with nothing fanciful. Just. 
                        Only. Things change. </span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">I 
                        checked on <a href="http://www.ashladle.org/">Maria</a> 
                        to make sure she wasn't <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2005/12/31/state/n034036S85.DTL">under 
                        water</a> and found that she had passed me a meme. </span></font></p>
                        <table align="center" border="0" width="415">
                            <tr>
                                <td width="409"><strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Four jobs you've had in your life</b></span></font></strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>: 
                                    Cook, waitress, singer, drug dealer.</b></span></font>
                                    <p><strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Four movies you could watch over and over</b></span></font></strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>: 
                                    Wings of Desire and .... not much else.</b></span></font>
                                    <p><strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Four places you've lived</b></span></font></strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>: Pittsburgh, 
                                    PA, Wheaton MD, Boulder CO and NYC.</b></span></font>
                                    <p><strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Four TV shows you love to watch: 
                                    Numbers, </b></span></font><a href="http://www.sfgov.org/site/bdsupvrs_index.asp"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Board 
                                    of Supes</b></span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>, 
                                    Gillmore Girls, </b></span></font><a href="http://www.booknotes.org/home/index.asp"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Book 
                                    Notes</b></span></font></a></strong>
                                    <p><strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Four places you've been on vacation</b></span></font></strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>: Hawaii, 
                                    Portland, Boulder, CO, San Francisco</b></span></font>
                                    <p><strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Four web 
                                    sites you visit daily</b></span></font></strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>: 
                                    Monster, The Chronicle of Higher Ed, Craigs 
                                    List, SF Gate</b></span></font>
                                    <p><strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Four of your favorite foods: 
                                    Bread, Triple creams, Watercress, Beets.</b></span></font></strong>
                                    <p><strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Four places you'd rather be</b></span></font></strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>: 
                                    I'm pretty happy where I am. </b></span></font>
                                    <p><strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Four albums you can't live without</b></span></font></strong><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>: </b></span></font><a href="http://www.jmdl.com/lyrics/song.cfm?id=Coyote"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Hejira,</b></span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b> 
                                    </b></span></font><a href="http://www.jerryjazzmusician.com/mainHTML.cfm?page=lovesupreme.html"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>A 
                                    Love Supreme</b></span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>, 
                                    </b></span></font><a href="http://www.narada.com/images/AlbumPage/SaltRain/saltrain.htm"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>Salt 
                                    and Rain</b></span></font></a><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>, 
                                    </b></span></font><a href="http://www.rickieleejones.com/magazine.htm"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><b>The 
                                    Magazine</b></span></font></a></td>
                            </tr>
                        </table>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">So 
                        there you have it. I'm not gonna tag anyone but if you 
                        do it let me know.</span></font></p>
                        <p><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode"><span style="font-size:11pt;">Happy 
                        New Year. </span></font></p>
                        <p align="justify" style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><SCRIPT type="text/javascript">get_comment_link(1488)</script> <noscript></span><a href="http://rateyourmusic.com/yaccs/commentsn/b=90000008560_and_e_is_1488"><span style="font-size:10pt;">comment</span></a><span style="font-size:10pt;"></noscript> 
                        </span></font></p>
                                                    <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;"><span class="rss:item"><a id="e1185" href="http://www.fatshadow.com/December2005.htm#e1185"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1">Permalink</font></a><a id="e1185"><font face="Lucida Sans Unicode" size="1"> 
                                     
                                     </font></a></span></p>
                        <p style="line-height:100%; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0;">&nbsp;</p>
                    </td>
                </tr>
            </table>

        </td>
    </tr>
</table>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
</body>

</html>

Anon7 - 2021