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<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//IETF//DTD HTML//EN"> <html> <head> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> <meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 2.0"> <title>CCexcerpt</title> </head> <body> <p align="center"><font size="6"><em><strong>Excerpt:</strong></em></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="7"><strong>The Covert Comic </strong></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="6"><strong>(1/98 Briefing)</strong></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="5"><strong>By</strong></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="5"><strong>John Alejandro King</strong></font></p> <hr> <p><font size="4"><strong><i>The following is a transcript of an intelligence briefing given by a CIA officer recently at a classified location.</i></strong></font></p> <p><font size="4"><strong>THE COVERT COMIC </strong><strong><i>(walking to the podium carrying some written notes, waving to the audience, and</i></strong><strong> </strong><strong><i>grinning good-naturedly):</i></strong><strong> Ladies, gentlemen, and other life-forms: </strong><strong><i>[Chuckles from the audience]</i></strong><strong> My name isn’t The Covert Comic, a.k.a. John Alejandro King, I don’t work as an intelligence officer for the CIA, and you’re not here at this intelligence briefing. </strong><strong><i>[More chuckles and scattered laughter from the audience]</i></strong></font></p> <p><font size="4"><strong>THE COVERT COMIC </strong><strong><i>(appearing to become serious in order to get to the business at hand):</i></strong><strong> If, as a CIA officer with access to the most highly classified information in our Government, I were to disclose to you that certain hostile foreign powers have secretly planted extremely lethal, highly contagious biological agents for which there’s no known cure at various sites throughout our country and as a result we’re all going to die horribly within a week at most, would you let me have your CD collection? </strong><strong><i>[Audience pause followed by laughter]</i></strong></font></p> <p><font size="4"><strong>THE COVERT COMIC: As I’m sure you know, our job at CIA is to provide Congress and the President with the intelligence they need to govern. Clearly, we haven’t been doing our job very well at CIA. </strong><strong><i>[Laughter]</i></strong></font></p> <p><font size="4"><strong>THE COVERT COMIC: When I was a little boy my mom told me "There are many poor children who would love to live in the house you live in and have the nice things you have." Then she said "That’s why your father and I decided to give you this assault rifle so you can shoot those children if they try to come too close." </strong><strong><i>[Laughter]</i></strong></font></p> <p><font size="4"><strong>THE COVERT COMIC: As a CIA employee I’m cleared to read documents containing the most sensitive US Government secrets. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I’m even cleared to read the</strong><strong><i> Washington Post</i></strong><strong>. </strong><strong><i>[Laughter]</i></strong></font></p> <p><font size="4"><strong>THE COVERT COMIC: They say that to work for the CIA and possess access to our nation’s deepest secrets is probably the most important job a person can have. They also say "Don’t tell anybody in your office that we’re communicating with you telepathically from another planet." </strong><strong><i>[Laughter]</i></strong></font></p> <p><font size="4"><strong>THE COVERT COMIC: A Zen master told me "Act without doing; work without effort." At the end of the lesson I got up to leave. He said "Aren’t you forgetting to pay me for this week?" I said "Buy things without money." </strong><strong><i>[Laughter]</i></strong></font></p> <p><font size="4"><strong>THE COVERT COMIC: They say truth is stranger than fiction. If that’s true, then it’s stranger than it would be if it wasn’t. </strong><strong><i>[Pause and laughter]</i></strong></font></p> <p><font size="4"><strong>THE COVERT COMIC </strong><strong><i>(appearing to become solemn):</i></strong><strong> You know, in a world without violence, tyranny, and deceit, the CIA would be unnecessary. Therefore, as a CIA officer I say: Let’s hope we never have a world without violence, tyranny, and deceit! </strong><strong><i>[Laughter]</i></strong></font></p> <hr> <p align="left"><font color="#000000" size="5"><strong>This is just a small taste of the hundreds of great laughs and deep insights you'll find in </strong><em><strong>The Covert Comic (1/98 Briefing).</strong></em></font></p> <p align="left"><font color="#000000" size="5"><strong>Note: Many of the jokes in this document are </strong><em><strong>EVEN BETTER THAN THESE ONES!!!</strong></em></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="7"><strong>Get Your Copy Now!</strong></font></p> <p><font size="5"><strong>Remember: A portion of the profits (and probably a </strong></font><font size="6"><strong>BIG</strong></font><font size="5"><strong> portion!) go to Amnesty International and local food banks!</strong></font></p> <p> </p> <p align="center"><font size="7"><em><strong>The Covert Comic. Read him while you still can!</strong></em></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="5"><strong><u><img src="cctiny2.gif" width="61" height="49"></u></strong></font></p> <p> </p> <p><a href="Order.htm"><font color="#000000" size="6"><strong><u>How to Order</u></strong></font></a></p> <p><a href="morejoke.htm"><font color="#000000" size="5"><strong><u>NEXT</u></strong></font></a></p> <p><a href="covcom.htm"><font color="#000000" size="5"><strong><u>BACK</u></strong></font></a></p> <p><a href="Default.htm"><font size="5"><strong><u>Back to The Covert Comic Home Page</u></strong></font></a></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Copyright 1998. All rights reserved.</strong></p> </body> </html>