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<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//IETF//DTD HTML//EN"> <html> <head> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> <meta name="GENERATOR" content="Microsoft FrontPage 2.0"> <title>Dexcerpt</title> </head> <body> <p align="center"><font size="6"><em><strong>Excerpt:</strong></em></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="7"><strong>Diary of a Penis</strong></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="6"><strong>By</strong></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="6"><strong>John Alejandro King</strong></font></p> <p align="left"> </p> <hr> <p><strong>This morning I was walking along a corridor on the ground floor of CIA Headquarters when it occurred to me that moving along that darkened passage was in some ways reminiscent of a near death experience. Then I thought that it was also like being a penis moving lovingly inside a vagina. So then I thought "The soul traveling along its passage toward the Light, and a penis moving lovingly through a vagina, are these not the same in some largely inexplicable though definitely true sense?" It was at precisely that moment, as I entered the ground floor corridor that leads to The Bubble (the darkest, most remote part of CIA Headquarters yet, almost paradoxically, the part that’s closest to the Main Entrance), that I had the following revelation: </strong></p> <p><strong><i>I am a penis…</i></strong></p> <p><strong>… Did you ever notice that the two Headquarters buildings at CIA are like a pair of large boobs? Admittedly the two structures aren’t exactly alike, but then, how many pairs of mammary glands are perfect symmetrical duplicates? I know </strong><strong><i>mine</i></strong><strong> aren’t.</strong></p> <p><strong>… I used to be so concerned about worldly things. I spent all my time fighting for a higher place in the pecking order at work, trying not to get blamed if I or someone else pulled a boner, etc. But all that changed forever after I realized what I truly am. And the change has been significant both in my personal life and in my profession. Indeed, a point that I need to keep driving home in the books I’m writing: </strong><strong><i>To realize you’re a penis can have a profound effect on your career.</i></strong><strong> To give just one example, this afternoon I was at a meeting at CIA Headquarters. During the meeting we were debating the best way to undertake a certain highly classified project, when someone asked me my opinion. After I had made my recommendation another officer (who appeared to have a lot of emotional capital invested in his own plan) offered one reason after another why my recommendation was inappropriate and his plan should be adopted. When he had finished and all eyes at the table turned toward me to see how I would respond, I nodded and with a genuinely friendly and admiring tone of voice said to my fellow intelligence officer "Truly, your penis is large."</strong></p> <p><strong>To be honest, he seemed kind of taken aback, which I guess I can’t fault him for. After all, how often in our inhibited, repressive society does one see an opponent suddenly abandon the fight and, in a magnanimous and totally loving way, extend himself to the other person? It just goes to show the power of </strong><strong><i>penis consciousness</i></strong><strong> (which is really nothing other than </strong><strong><i>truthfulness and love)</i></strong><strong> to disarm opponents and impress the neutral (I’m referring here to the other people at the table, who were clearly intrigued by my statement, so much so that all of them were at a complete loss for words). No doubt about it, recognizing and actively embracing that I’m a penis has definitely caused me to be viewed as a special person at work. On the other hand, although I’m a penis I haven’t noticed any envy on the part of my friends or coworkers.</strong></p> <p><strong>… Here’s a thought: Is a vagina really just a penis’s way of making another penis? Or is a penis really just a vagina’s way of making another vagina? And what role do boobs play in this universal drama of life? It seems that, the more questions we answer regarding our penis and vagina natures, the more new questions we raise.</strong></p> <p><strong>… Einstein once said "Man’s greatest victory is dying." I think, in the equations for length contraction, increase in mass, and time dilation in his Theory of Relativity, Einstein intuited what we call ‘near death experiences’. And I </strong><strong><i>also</i></strong><strong> think it’s just possible that in these very same equations Einstein intuited </strong><strong><i>the penis coming into all things</i></strong><strong>. I mean, if coming into all things isn’t man’s greatest victory, then what </strong><strong><i>is,</i></strong><strong> for God’s sake?</strong></p> <p><strong>… This morning at work I got a call on my secure phone from a young woman who works for CIA Security. Her name is Mary. She said she needed to get together with me to talk about something. Deciding to come straight to the point, I asked her if it had anything to do with my writing about penises. She politely said she’d let me know what it was about when she saw me. I’m supposed to link up with her on Thursday afternoon.</strong></p> <p><strong>… This afternoon I drove to the outbuilding where Mary the security officer works. I entered through the door and walked down the long corridor toward her room. It reminded me of the time I was in that passageway at CIA Headquarters and first realized that I’m a penis. Reaching Mary’s office, I tentatively stuck my head in and said hi. "Oh," she said, slightly startled, "Come in…"</strong></p> <p> </p> <hr> <p align="center"><font size="7"><em><strong>Uplifting writing from The Covert Comic!</strong></em></font></p> <p align="center"><font size="5"><strong><u><img src="cctiny2.gif" width="61" height="49"></u></strong></font></p> <p> </p> <p><a href="Order.htm"><font color="#000000" size="6"><strong><u>How to Order</u></strong></font></a></p> <p><a href="free.htm"><font color="#000000" size="5"><strong><u>NEXT</u></strong></font></a></p> <p><a href="diaryp.htm"><font color="#000000" size="5"><strong><u>BACK</u></strong></font></a></p> <p><a href="Default.htm"><font size="5"><strong><u>Back to The Covert Comic Home Page</u></strong></font></a></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Copyright 1998. All rights reserved.</strong></p> </body> </html>