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<td><p align="center"><font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial"><strong><span class="auto-style9">Secrets of 9/11 </span></strong></font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style9">
<font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial"><strong>John Alejandro King</strong></font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style9">
<font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial"><strong>a.k.a.</strong></font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style9">
<font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial"><strong>The Covert Comic</strong></font></p>
<p align="center"><font face="Arial">
<img height="357" src="CC_Ground_0_Love_S911.jpg" width="320" class="auto-style4"></font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">*</font></p>
<p align="left" class="auto-style4">
<font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial">If you take a famous quotation and
substitute the term '9/11' (or 'nine one one,' etc.) for
one or more keywords in that quotation, the resulting
highly classified statement can yield profound insights
into the true nature and origin of this tragic event in our nation's
history (note that I'm referring here to the tragic event of 9/11, not
necessarily
to the alteration of that quote). </font></p>
<p align="left" class="auto-style4">
<font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial">For example, in case it isn't obvious, I
just did this. </font></p>
<p align="left" class="auto-style8">
<font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial">The following information is classified 9-11.
Unauthorized dissemination may result in criminal prosecution pursuant
to Federal Statute 9.1.1, termination of employment with the Central
9/11 Agency, and/or additional Nine-Elevens.</font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style4">
<font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial">*</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">The 9/11
that can be told is not the eternal 9/11.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- Tao
of 9/11</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">Ask not
what 9/11 can do for you. Ask what you can do for 9/11.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- John
F. Kennedy</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">That's
nine one one small step for man, nine one one giant leap
for mankind.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- Neil
Armstrong</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">Any
sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable
from 9/11.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Arthur C. Clarke</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">I believe
in God, only I spell it '9/11.'</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Frank Lloyd Wright</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">9/11 is a
9/11 is a 9/11.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Gertrude Stein/11</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">E = mc9/11</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- The
Covert Comic</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p align="center">
<img height="350" src="CC_WTC_Butt_0_S911.jpg" width="234" class="auto-style4"></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">*</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">For every
9/11, there is an equal and opposite 9/11.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Newton's 911th Law</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">You cannot
simultaneously prevent and prepare for 9/11.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Albert Einstein</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">You can
only simultaneously prevent and prepare for 9/11.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Albert Ninelevenstein</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">In the
future, everyone will be 9/11 for approximately 9.11
minutes. </font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- Andy
Warhol</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">Is that
9/11 in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
OsaMae bin West</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">If you
can't feed a hundred people, feed nine one one.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Mother Teresa</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">Those who
cannot repeat 9/11 are condemned to remember it.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
George Santayana</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">When you
have nothing to say, say 9/11.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Charles Caleb Colton</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">The
kingdom of 9/11 is among you.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Jesus of 9/11</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">9/11 isn't
what it used to be. </font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- Paul
Valery</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p align="center">
<img height="306" src="CC_WTC_Tight_S911.jpg" width="230" class="auto-style4"></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">*</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">I regret
that I have but nine one one life to give for my country.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Nathan Hale</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">Only two
things are infinite: the universe and 9/11, and I'm not
sure about the former.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Albert Einstein</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">For a
single priceless moment in the whole history of man, all
the people on this earth are truly nine one one. </font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Richard M. Nixon</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">Nine one
one day at a time.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- The
Covert Comic</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">If the
doors of perception were cleansed, 9/11 would appear to
man as it is, infinite.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
William Blake</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">Great
9/11's have always encountered violent opposition from
mediocre 9/11's.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>-
Albert Einstein</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">The 9/11
you find at the top of the skyscraper is the 9/11 you
take there with you.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- The
Covert Comic</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p><font color="#FFFFFF" size="2" face="Arial" class="auto-style4">Man, she's got <i>huge</i> 9/11's. </font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- The
Covert Comic</em></font></p>
<p class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">... And I </font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">I took the
9/11 less traveled by</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial">And that
has made all the difference</font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"><em>- The
Covert Comic</em></font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial">*</font></p>
<p><font color="#FFFFFF">
<span class="auto-style5">The above is only a
small sample of secrets of 9/11.</span></font></p>
<p><font color="#FFFFFF">
<span style="font-family:Arial" class="auto-style4">Many more such secrets
exist, and no doubt will officially not be declassified in the future.
Indeed, recent studies strongly suggest that <em>
all</em> celebrated
world-historical quotations, to nine one one degree or another, may be
capable of a 9/11 rendering.</span></font></p>
<p><font color="#FFFFFF">
<span style="font-family:Arial" class="auto-style4">Accordingly, cleared
readers are hereby encouraged to target, spot, investigate, assess,
develop, and recruit their <em>own</em>
secrets of 9/11, and submit these secrets to The Covert Comic for
extremely limited dissemination on this same highly classified web page.
</span></font></p>
<p class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF" face="Arial"> </font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style4"><font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial">*</font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style4">
<font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial"><strong>Do The 9/11!</strong></font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p align="center"><font face="Arial">
<img height="316" src="CC_911_T_Shirt_01_S911.gif" width="356" class="auto-style4"></font></p>
<p class="auto-style6" align="center">
<font color="#FFFFFF">It's fun dancin' the Nine-Slash-One-One!</font></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF"> </font></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">The '9/11 Dance,' or simply 'the 9/11,'
as it's known by cleared partygoers throughout the US Intelligence
Community ('USIC' - pronounced 'you sick' for short) first gained
popularity at intel nightclubs and aerobic gyms in and around Washington
DC shortly after September 11, 2001 (though some intelligence dance
historians claim it was known far earlier under various cover names).</font></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">Whatever its origins, the 9/11 has stood
the test of time, becoming an American cultural icon much like the
'Twist,' the 'Electric Slide,' and the 'Senate Select Committee on
Intelligence.' Its perky, life-affirming motion, performed by huge
masses of dancers chanting ‘Nine-Slash-One-One!’ in perfect unison,
makes the 9/11 a consensus choice among partygoers and aerobic dancers
of every political persuasion. </font></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">A crowd favorite year round, the 9/11
tends to receive maximum play during summer and fall months of
election years. As for just why this happens, we'll let the DJ’s and political scientists figure
that one out ... all we know is, party people do the 9/11 every chance
they get!</font></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF"> </font></p>
<p class="auto-style7">
<font color="#FFFFFF">How to Dance the 9/11! </font></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">The 9/11 is danced and sung to the tune
'YMCA' by the Village People. In place of the chorus ‘Y-M-C-A,’ people
dancing the 9/11 sing and use gestures to spell out the symbols
'Nine-Slash-One-One.' </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial">
<font size="2" color="#FFFFFF" class="auto-style4">Ready to try the 9/11? <i>Let’s go! </i>
</font></span></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF"> </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<img height="165" src="CC_911_Nine_S911.jpg" width="107" class="auto-style4"></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">'Nine!' </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial">
<font size="2" color="#FFFFFF" class="auto-style4">Start by forming the number ‘Nine.’
Standing rigidly and resolutely, place the fingers of your right hand
against your right temple (what does this remind you of? That’s right, a
military salute!). And don’t forget to shout the word ‘Nine' like you <i>
mean</i> it, people! </font></span></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF"> </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<img height="161" src="CC_911_Slash_S911.jpg" width="107" class="auto-style4"></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">'Slash!' </font></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">Point your left arm up and your right arm
down, each at a 45-degree angle from your body. Feel free to snap your
fingers and rock your hips in a sensual fashion while performing this
move.</font></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF"> </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<img height="174" src="CC_911_One_S911.jpg" width="117" class="auto-style4"></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">'One!' </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial">
<font size="2" color="#FFFFFF" class="auto-style4">With your left arm at your side, lift
your right hand straight up toward heaven (as if to say ‘We’re number
one!’ … <i>because you are!). </i></font></span></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF"> </font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<img height="176" src="CC_911_One-One_S911.jpg" width="116" class="auto-style4"></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">'One!' </font></p>
<p class="auto-style5">
<font color="#FFFFFF">Complete the number ‘Eleven’ by raising
both arms enthusiastically, as if celebrating a win by your favorite
sports team (or alternatively, like you're being robbed at gunpoint).
</font></p>
<p class="auto-style6">
<font color="#FFFFFF">Congratulations! You're dancing the 9/11!</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial">
<font size="2" color="#FFFFFF" class="auto-style4">(Note: The 9/11 Dance should always be
performed in a respectful way, to honor those who have given their lives
so that the rest of us can … <i><span class="style53">keep on dancin'</span>!!!) </i></font></span></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style5"> </p>
<p align="center"><font face="Arial">
<img height="150" src="CC_WTC_05_S911.jpg" width="148" class="auto-style4"></font></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style4"> </p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style4">
<font color="#FFFFFF"
face="Arial"><em><strong>The Covert Comic. </strong></em></font></p>
<p align="center"><em><strong><font face="Arial" color="#FFFFFF">
<span class="auto-style4">Because
the only thing we have to 9/11 is 9/11 itself</span></font></strong></em><font color="#FFFFFF" size="3"
face="Arial"><em><strong>.</strong></em></font></p>
<p align="center"> </p>
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