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<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style1" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
Real Men Don't Get Published</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style1" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
By</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style1" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
John Alejandro King</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="style16" style="font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
<img height="279" src="CC_Real_Girls_Do_Get_Pubbed_RM.jpg" width="161"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1">
<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The following manuscript was reportedly written by a CIA officer named
John Alejandro King. Little is known about King, though reliable sources
confirm that he is a male intelligence official who may recently have
been the subject of disciplinary action by the CIA as a result of
incidents surrounding efforts by one or more publishing companies to
disseminate writing from King’s personal website, allegedly without his
permission.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The manuscript consists of entries in diary form containing King's
accounts of the events in question, along with musings on topics ranging
from CIA covert operations, to the meaning of life and the universe, to
the real nature of the book publishing industry. As for how this
document was obtained, that information must for the moment remain
confidential.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Literary agents wishing to inquire about publishing this manuscript are
advised not to bother contacting the author via his website, nor through any other channels.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
It's not the illusion of reality that need persist, only the illusion of
persistence.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
A major literary press offered to publish my writing today. As happens
frequently, I was in my cubicle attending to a national security matter
when I got a call from an agent in New York (I can't divulge the agent's
name
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
-</span> if I told you, you'd have to try to publish me).</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
They made the usual promises: advances, royalties, a long-term
commitment. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
… And as I always do, I politely deflected the discussion. You know, so
as to decline without making them feel rejected.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
See, here's the thing: I'm a CIA officer. More to the point, I'm a
vital, life-affirming, heterosexual male CIA officer. I'm in good
physical shape, I'm considered acceptable in appearance, I'm friendly
and a fun conversationalist, I'm an honorable person … and I also happen
to write. And for whatever reason, when publishing companies see my
writing on the Internet and learn about me, they get interested. <i>Really</i> interested. In
fact, it's frankly amazing how forward these companies can be when
conveying their interest in publishing your humble writer and spook.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
But I turn them all down. It isn't that I'm not flattered, and even to a
certain extent tempted. It's just that I can't in good faith and
conscience agree to their proposals – because the fact is that I
consider myself a true, authentic man and … <i>real men don't get
published.</i></span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The question isn't whether you're cleared for top secret, it's whether
you're cleared for unclassified.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
An unauthorized person attempted to enter CIA Headquarters this
morning. Security immediately determined that he was an impostor because
he resembled the picture on his badge.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"">
<o:p>
<span class="auto-style37" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">
<em>Never judge a book by its cover
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
- </span>no matter how well that cover is
backstopped. </em></span></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
It's OK to frequently quote the saying 'Insanity is doing the same thing
over and over again and expecting a different result,' as long as you
don't expect anything to change as a result of doing this. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Always keep drugs out of the reach of children. And for maximum
entertainment, keep them <u>just</u> out of reach.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
SpookSpeak.</span><span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext"> For
Your Eyes Only <i>phr.</i> (Intelligence Community) For Your Ass Mostly.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style37" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">
<span class="auto-style37" style="line-height: 115%;">I bet whoever
first said “The future is now!” feels like a total idiot today.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="auto-style42">
<o:p> </o:p>
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1" class="auto-style32"> </span><img height="279" src="CC_Punch%20Line_RM.jpg" width="256" class="auto-style33"></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I got your manuscript right here ...</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
It's easier to fake an orgasm than fake not having one.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
This morning my boss called me into her office. She was dissatisfied with one of the characteristic modes in
which my DNA expresses itself.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
"What’s wrong, boss?" I asked. "Is it the particular manner in which my
cytoplasm surrounds the vacuoles of my cell walls?"</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
"No," she said, "I think you've fixed that problem.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
… For now, anyway."</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
"Actually," she continued, "I wanted to raise to your attention that
you're indenting the columns in your status reporting too far to the
right."</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
… Oh sure. Like I have a choice in the way my genetic base pairs are
ordered.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Typical themes in CIA operations include money, sex, personal betrayal,
and struggles for power.</span><span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext"> </span><span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">And
that's just to requisition a new laptop.</span></i><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
SpookSpeak. </span><span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">Conscience <i>n.</i> (From <i>con</i> + <i>science).</i>
The set of principles and practices used to create and perpetuate scams.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="auto-style29" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
Metal filing cabinets are coming back. And this time they're angry.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Can a dog still have its day after it's been spayed or neutered? Or does
being spayed or neutered count as its day?</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
So many have paved the way before me, there's now nothing before me but
pavement.</span><span style="font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Got an e-mail from another publishing firm today. The company is called
Varon Publishers Inc., and they're located here in the DC
area. Apparently they specialize in works on intelligence and
paramilitary-related subject matter. They think my writing is "highly
appealing," and that I’m "just perfect for their needs" (where have I
heard <i>that</i> before …). They also claim to have worked movie deals
with influential production companies; their e-mail said they've turned
several books by current and former CIA officers into
multimillion-dollar action films.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I wrote back and told the people at Varon Publishers that I was honored
by their kind words, but couldn't meet with them any time soon owing to
my work schedule. I resisted the urge to respond to their rather
machista overture by letting them in on the secret, the secret that … <i>real
men don't get published.</i></span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If I <u>don't</u> love something, is it still OK to set it free?</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If all the world's a stage, America is the shiny vertical pole in the
middle.</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Best-selling authors don't care if you read their book, as long as you
buy it.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Worst-selling authors don't care if you buy their book, as long as you
read it.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Real male authors are pretty sure they know what a book is, and they're
pretty sure their book is in their pants.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
In 'The Elements of Style,' William Strunk wrote 'A sentence should
contain no unnecessary words.' There are 23 additional words in that
sentence, but this is Strunk's essential idea.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Yet another offer of publication today. This one, however, was a little
different: an LGBTQ publishing company.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Actually, you might be surprised how often this kind of thing happens to
us guys who are committed to keeping it real. I mean, on one hand you'd
think a Gay or Lesbian publisher would be the last one to take an
interest in my writing
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
-</span> you know, given that I'm most decidedly
heterosexual, work for 'the man,' etc. Yet take an interest they do. I
suspect it's the identity-fluid character of my writing (an inherent
part of my profession, of course) that attracts publishing agents of
multiple persuasions. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
As for the company in question, I saw no need to respond rudely to their
proposal. I simply told them I wasn't seeking publication at this time,
but that I appreciated being considered.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
See, it isn't a matter of not wanting to be published by one or
another kind of company. It's about not wanting to be published at
all. Because being real isn't about being published. And a lot of the
time at least, being published isn't about being real.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
If a problem well stated is a problem half-solved, state it well again!</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The opposite of information warfare is not information peace.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The thought of machines becoming self-aware is frightening, because it
implies that at some point I might have to become self-aware too.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
Is it really fair to classify sloth as one of the seven deadly sins,
when being slothful can actually help prevent the other six?</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
God does not play dice with the universe. He plays Russian roulette.</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Irony has been replaced by titaniumy.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I knew a guy who got published.</span><span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
… </span>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Let's just say he won't have to worry about his condom breaking any time
soon.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Hey, I'm as willing to have my manuscript scrutinized as the next
fellow. It's just that, by the time a writer's work has been edited for
proper style, voice, pacing, and 'internal conflicts,' he can hardly be
surprised if there's no <i>man</i>uscript left at all.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Memory isn't a painter - memory is a minimum wage department store
employee with a price tag gun.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
They say a woman must do a thing twice as well as a man to be considered
half as good. And I bet I know what that thing is.</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><i><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The high road has too many potholes.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Never fish for compliments. Lob dynamite in the water.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If knowledge is but sorrow's spy, it proves a double agent by and by.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
Not only were romantic love and gunpowder both invented in the Middle
Ages, they were created in the same act.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
None of us is as smart as all of us? Isn't that the whole problem???</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The Spook's Toast: May your intelligence estimates always surpass the
estimates of your intelligence.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
SpookSpeak.</span><span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext"> Data <i>n.</i> Acronym
for <i>digital asymmetric threat agent.</i></span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
There are currently at least five different versions of the
international rainbow flag. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
I only hope the matter can be resolved peacefully.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
For a while I thought I was bisexual, but only because I tend to get
'bi-' and 'semi-' mixed up.</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Kurt Vonnegut was a great writer. He greated on everyone’s nerves.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Challenge: <i>If we had to pay for our stupidity, many would go
bankrupt.</i></span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Password: <i>If we had to pay for our stupidity, declaring bankruptcy
wouldn't be stupid.</i></span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
There's no substitute for hard work, but there's plenty of work for a
hard substitute.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
According to government studies, alcohol is more socially damaging than
heroin or crack, though not as socially damaging as government studies.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<span class="auto-style31" style="line-height: 115%; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">
How about a compromise: everybody leave the toilet seat at 45 degrees.</span><p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1" class="auto-style32"> </span><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1" class="auto-style33"><o:p><font color="#FFFFFF"><img height="184" src="CC_Popcorn_01_RM.jpg" width="183"></font></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Did someone say "film rights?"</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="auto-style29" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
I think that abyss likes me.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Around a month after I first launched my web site and started getting
several million hits per hour on it, a publishing agent contacted me to
introduce herself and invite me to 'query about being represented.' She
claimed to be head over heels in love with my literary concept, my
writing style, my entire body of work. No doubt about it, she said, my
writing was a keeper.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I resolved to go slowly. In a polite but friendly way I let her know
that I was flattered by her positive review and wanted to get to know
more about her, to see what kind of author-agent relationship we might
develop. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Her response was to turn up the heat big time; every day she sent new
e-mails about wanting to 'proof my manuscript, word for word' and 'scan
every inch of my back matter.' I remember her remarking that she could
'write me a blurb I'd never forget.'</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Finally, after several weeks of correspondence, I decided to take her up
on her offer. I dutifully wrote her a formal query, referring to her
original e-mail and asking what steps would be needed for her to become
my literary agent.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The same day she wrote back with the following message: "Sorry, but I'm
not accepting clients at this time." </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I never heard from her again.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Had she suddenly found another writer she preferred over me? Or did my
submitting a query scare her off?</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
… Or then again, did she simply exercise every literary agent's
prerogative to change her mind?</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Whatever her motivation, that literary agent helped me appreciate, in
about as visceral a way possible, that … <i>real men don't get
published.</i></span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
wikiHow? How wiki.</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If you giggle when you wiggle</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
And you jiggle when you giggle</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
And you wiggle when you jiggle</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
You can giggle all the time!</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Better to be asked what drug you're on, than what drug you're off.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
SpookSpeak.</span>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Causable denial <i>n.</i> (Intelligence Community) A truthful denial of
a notional event or situation that subsequently causes that event or
situation to occur.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
If I think for one minute that I’m the kind of person who would have sex
with me on the very first date, then I’m sadly mistaken.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
How am I supposed to feel motivated to attend the empowerment seminar
unless I first feel empowered to attend the motivational seminar??? </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
You made your bed, now hide under it.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
If this is the steering committee, how do I get on the emergency brake
committee?</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
At CIA we've been shaken by reports of alcoholism in the Intelligence
Community.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
... Though fortunately we haven't been stirred.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I've never had a problem with rejection. On the contrary, I've always
been able to reject stuff any time I want.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Some change their party for the sake of lofty principles. Last weekend I
changed my principles for the sake of a loft party.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
When there's rioting in the streets, use the sidewalk.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Show me a culture with no word for awe, and I'll show you a people
who've never had their tonsils examined.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style37" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
The Occupy Wall Street movement faltered when activists realized that
traders were quite busy already.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="auto-style43">An opportunity to say the word ‘kerfuffle’ is
sufficient justification for causing one.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around
inebriated.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If I trip and fall in a sensitive compartmented information facility
while giving a top secret briefing to an audience under official
cover, do I make a sound?</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
A literary agent contacted me today to ask if I was interested in
working as a ghost writer for a client of hers.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Talk about your unmixed metaphor. I declined, of course. As a CIA spook my own writing is itself ghosted by definition.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I'm all for banning the N-word from literature, assuming by 'N-word' you
mean 'novel.'</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
My life no longer revolves around sex. Sex's immense gravitational field
has finally sucked my life into its event horizon and shredded it into
elementary particles. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Saving Your Soul:</span><span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span>
</p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Helpful Tips</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
1. <b>Assess.</b> Calculate how much of your soul you spend each
week. Your bank and credit card statements can be helpful in this
regard.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
2. <b>Make a plan.</b> Create a budget for saving some of your soul each
month – and stick to it!</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
3. <b>Learn.</b> Find out how many checks you can write against
your soul. Never write more than the limit, as this may result in
substantial penalties.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
4. <b>Invest.</b> Consider investing your soul in a retirement account
or deferred annuity. Make sure the investment offers sufficient return
for growth without exposing your soul to excessive risk.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
5. <b>Live a little!</b> Once your plan for saving your soul starts
showing results, reward yourself by splurging now and then!</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The Internet has made book burning impossible and redundant at the same
time. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
When Thoreau wrote "Our lives are frittered away by detail,” I hope he
wasn’t talking about potato fritters, because I love those things.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If you die while waging jihad, you shall be rewarded with 72 virgins in
the afterlife.</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
… That's you, plus six dozen adolescent girls, for the rest of
eternity. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Truly, the justice of Allah is great.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="auto-style36" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman""><o:p>
</o:p></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="auto-style29" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
I'd rather have less time than I think, than less think than I have
time.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
What is it about being published that renders an author, otherwise
possessing the usual compliment of male physiology and outlook,
something other than a real man?</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Is it the inevitable chopping up of his manuscript, nay, even the
complete emasculation of his central concept by an editor?</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Or is it the way the writer is forced to have his body of work
scrutinized and commented on by fickle critics … not unlike a fashion
model sashaying down a catwalk?</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
On a somewhat related topic, like most guys I prefer not to admit that I
self-post my writings on my web site. But truth be told, I like to
fantasize that I'm being featured in <i>New Yorker</i> when I'm 'doing
it.'</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I want to take a course to learn how to stop juggling.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
A motivational speaker was stabbed by one of his students. This either
officially qualifies him as the worst motivational speaker ever, or the
best.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:
"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
'Contradiction in terms' is a redundancy.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Joel Siegel said "William Shakespeare wrote 39 plays and did not use the
word 'suck' in any of them."</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Sorry Joel: <i>Titus Andronicus</i> Act 4. Scene 2. Line 179.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style37" style="mso-color-alt: windowtext">An ISBN?
Does it contain multiple independently targetable reentry vehicles?</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style37" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tormented authors who don't want their picture taken need extra time to
get their hair wrong for the publicity photo.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The real F-word is 'future.'</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
What goes TDY comes TDY.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
There's a time and a place for everything
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
-</span> and I say we send everything
there as soon as possible.</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Let's be honest: only God can create jobs.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I never met a man who never met a man he didn't like I liked.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If it ain't broke, can we please stop talking about it?</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The objectification of women is unfair to women, and even more unfair to
objects.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If you're a zombie, it's not an apocalypse, it's a renaissance.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
They say the reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the
conduct of a single hour. </span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I say: who the hell can do something for a whole hour???</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Not only can you fall off the floor, you can land face-first on the
ceiling.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Never judge a cover by its sleeve.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Oh what the hell, why not admit it: sometimes I wish to God I was
published. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Not only that, I can both confirm and not not not deny that every
now and then I feel a deep yearning to see my writing made into
commercially successful feature length films.</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
... And honestly, when you think about it, why <i>wouldn't</i> a real
man want these things? I mean, to be loved by like-minded readers, to
leave an enduring legacy to literature: no doubt writers who are vain
and unmanly harbor such desires – but is harboring such desires
necessarily vain and unmanly?</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
In my opinion, for an authentic, upright man to frankly acknowledge
these sorts of inner wants, far from being unmasculine, is actually a
big part of true manhood, and as such constitutes an important factor in
assuring that guy has no chance of getting published ever.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
A thesaurus is a dictionary on drugs. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If you're lucky, you may capture the spirit of creative genius for a
brief moment, maybe two. If not, you'll have to be content with
possessing it twenty-four hours a day.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style44" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="auto-style45">Whenever I see a painting of a nude woman, I
imagine how angry she must have been when she found out. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style37" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I assume the phrase 'If you can't say something nice, don't say
anything' is a nice thing to say.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If A loves B, and B loves C, how can it be a love <u>triangle</u> unless
C also loves A? </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
You can't make this stuff up. Making this stuff up is a violation of
Title 18, Section 1001 of US federal law.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Failure to understand reality is not reality's fault? How do you
figure???</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style6" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1" class="auto-style32"> </span><span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1" class="auto-style33"><o:p><img height="254" src="CC_Standing_Ovulation_RM.jpg" width="433"></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Author! Author!</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
*</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
'Safeword' is a contradiction in terms.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
A woman from Varon Publishers – that company near DC – contacted me
today. Her name is Eva. I read her bio on Varon's web site; talk about
some impressive references. Let's just say I wouldn't mind writing <i>her</i> back
story, if you get the undercurrent to my narrative here.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Eva invited me to dinner next week. She said she has a unique proposal
that she's sure will meet with my approval, but she wants to present it
personally. I'm not sure why, but I decided to accept her invitation.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Got an e-mail this evening from another agent – some guy who says he
thinks my work might be suitable for 'short run' publishing.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Hey, speak for yourself, pal.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
Failure is not an option
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
- </span>it's an employee stock purchase plan.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I wrote myself a motivational e-mail challenging myself to be a more
authentic person. It got sent to my spam folder.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Plain text is in the eye of the beholder.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
There's nothing more odious to God than excessive piety. Just be
satisfied with one piece like everybody else.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:
"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
When breathing in life and breathing out poetry, remember that 80% of
halitosis comes from the tongue.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
The difference between concrete and abstract: if you slip and fall on
abstract, it hurts a lot more.</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Friday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
Not only does history repeat itself, it increasingly forgets where it
put its keys.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
* </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Monday</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
You don't pass your prime, you dig out from under it.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
For every innuendo, there's an innubeginningo.</span><i><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Tuesday</span><span style="font-size:
13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I know why the caged monkey throws feces.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
If the ointment's any good, what does it matter if there's a fly in it?</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Wednesday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style31" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Gods of thunder make me wet.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
My conscience is not for sale. I'm waiting for the market to pick up.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style41" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Thursday</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
If I knew then what I know now, by now I probably wouldn't know it.</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:black"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
Had dinner with Eva, the literary agent from Varon Publishers. Talk
about attractive – and she was definitely letting her 'front matter'
show, if you get my publishing industry reference here. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style35" style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-color-alt: windowtext">
I don't mind telling you, the above factors (plus more than a little red
wine) had your humble intelligence officer seriously questioning my
policy of not seeking to disseminate my writing. </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif;mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman""><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<span class="auto-style35" style="line-height: 115%; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">
As we drove from the restaurant back to my townhouse in Eva's car, I
felt somewhat disoriented. At one point I remember her talking about
helping me write my final draft. The next thing I knew we were parked in
my driveway; I recall her softly whispering literary terms like
'hardcopy' and 'trim' in my ear. That was my last memory before losing
consciousness.</span><p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style25" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<span class="auto-style7" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
<p align="center" class="auto-style34" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1">
<o:p>
<img height="164" src="CC_It_Happens_01_RM.jpg" width="217"></o:p></p>
</span>
<span class="auto-style32" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal"><em>It happens to the best of us ...</em><o:p></o:p></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal"> <o:p></o:p></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">*<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><strong>Friday</strong><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em>To burn one's manuscript is to return the favor</em><span style="mso-color-alt: windowtext"><em>.</em></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-color-alt: windowtext">Woke up
this morning with my head pounding and my eyes swiveling around like a
pair of rusty turrets. Swung myself out of bed, stumbled into the
bathroom, looked down and …</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh my God.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Instantly I knew what had happened.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After enduring the humiliation of having to urinate
sitting down, I carefully and thoroughly wiped, then in a single,
enraged motion leapt from the toilet and grabbed my cell phone from the
nightstand of my bed. I quickly looked up the street address of Varon
Publishers, then heaved the handset against the wall, scarcely noticing
as it exploded into a dozen pieces.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Storming over to my closet, I proceeded to outfit
myself in camo and sunglasses. Then I stomped down to my basement to get
guns. Lots of guns. Scooping up handfuls of nine-millimeter rounds and
stuffing shotgun shells into various pockets, I strode silently out of
my townhouse, bounded into my jeep, and burst out of my driveway in a
grey-white cloud of vaporized rubber.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In twelve minutes and thirty-two seconds I was in
the parking lot of Varon Publishers, Inc. As my jeep neared the front of
the building I jumped the small speed bump and floored the gas pedal,
plowing straight across the manicured lawn. A couple of stunned
onlookers scattered as I slammed my vehicle headlong into the main
lobby, broken glass cascading down around me like a Niagara Falls
honeymoon.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A pudgy little security guard stared at me for a
split second, then dove for cover underneath the reception desk. I had
no quarrel with security. The sound of muffled shouts and gasps wafted
from unseen rooms as I climbed out of my jeep, sauntered over to the
elevator, pointed my silver riot gun at the elevator door, and blew it
open. Then I stepped in and pressed the double star signifying the
executive floor.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Emerging from the elevator and pausing outside the
large glass doors of the CEO's office, I grabbed the stock of a second
riot gun from its holster behind my back, and in the same motion swung
it over and cocked it. The pretty admin took one look at me and
immediately bolted for destinations unseen. I obliterated the two glass
doors with a shell from each semi-legal sawed-off, walked into the CEO's
lobby, made a deliberate right turn toward his office, and started
taking large wood chips from of his $90,000 oak doors with alternating
blasts from each hand.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have to give that CEO credit – he heard me coming
and went straight for his canister of pepper spray. I casually pointed
one shotgun and blew it out of his hands, a couple of his fingertips
going with it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The CEO sat upright in his chair, holding his
slightly bloodied hand and panting softly; maybe he was in shock, or maybe he had
known this moment was coming. Maybe both. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"You published me,"<o:p> I said calmly.</o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"We had every right under the Freedom of
Information Act, Mr. King," he replied, obviously recognizing me from my
web site portrait. "Your writing is the property of the US Government,
and it’s not classified."<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"My writing is my own. You didn't read the
disclaimer on the site."<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"Our legal counsel believes they can make a judge
think differently; if nothing else, we can keep this matter tied up in
litigation for years. Meanwhile, your books will all be bestsellers." <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I stepped forward a couple of paces, re-cocked and
pointed a riot gun six inches from the CEO's face.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"Look, Mr. King," he said, "Let's be realistic
about this. Varon Publishers will pay you top dollar for your work. This
stuff is brilliant. Maybe we pushed the envelope a little by taking the
steps we did, but we had to publish your writing before someone else got
to it."<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Inwardly I had to admire the guy's guts. Even if it
did ultimately prove necessary for me to splatter them all over that
$50,000 hardwood desk of his.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"Where are the books?"<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"Film rights, Mr. King – the film rights alone are
worth millions. As CEO of Varon Publishers, I'm in a position to
personally guarantee you at least 20%." <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I stuck the barrel of my riot gun against his
mouth.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"Where are the books?"<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"Mmff frml grp lubbub."<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I pulled my gun back without firing, turned around
and walked out.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">He called behind me, "I advise you to put down your
guns and go home, Mr. King. There's still time to resolve this situation
without involving the authorities."<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"You can't stop us from publishing your work and
making you a universally famous author!"<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em>… "You can't hold back your literary destiny!"</em><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">By the time I reached the downstairs lobby, I could
hear sirens – I knew special weapons and tactics units would be taking
up positions outside the building at any moment, if they hadn't already.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I ignored the sirens and took the stairs down to
the basement warehouse. Reaching the thick metal doors, I slung my riot
guns back in their holsters and took out my nine-millimeter. A single round
to the lock and I was in. A man stood 10 feet inside the entrance with
spilled coffee all over his shirt, holding a section of wood pallet like
he was batting cleanup for the Washington Nationals. For a second the
thought entered my mind: was he really willing to die to protect a bunch
of cat books and memoirs by adult survivors of adult survivors? Another
second and I had my answer.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As he turned and scurried toward the rear exit I
called after him in a relaxed voice: "Where are the Covert Comic books?"<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"… Comic books?" he called back, still running, "We
don't make comic books at this facility."<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"The new spy book," I called out louder as he
continued running. Then I played a hunch as to what the cover might look
like and yelled toward his rapidly receding form: "The one with a
picture of a guy wearing sunglasses who has no face."<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">He reached a door at the far end of the warehouse
and flung it open. But for a moment, instead of running outside, he
paused and gazed back at me – a look of recognition on his face. "Back
corner to the right," he said; then he stepped through the doorway and
disappeared.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">"Thanks," I whispered. "… Sorry about the hassle,
fellow non-publishee."<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I could hear the pounding of many boots on a floor
somewhere above me; then I heard muffled shouts. I casually walked over
to the corner and saw several huge pallets reaching all the way up to
the ceiling like a veritable Tower of Babel. The pallets had white
labels on them. The labels said "Varon Publishers / King: Real Men."<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I replaced my 9mm in its holster and stepped back
several meters. From a vest pocket I carefully removed a WP (White
Phosphorous) incendiary grenade. I had acquired it during a covert op
overseas many years previously; I kept it at home in case America ever
found herself under attack by a hostile foreign government or a
terrorist organization (or possibly a book publisher).<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I looked behind me to ascertain that the interior
warehouse door was still accessible. Then I pulled the pin on the
grenade, tossed it into the pallets, and as they say, 'started booking.'<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Before I had even made the stairs, the building
shook violently. By the time I hit the lobby on a dead sprint, the SWAT
boys were dealing with fire exploding from windows all around the
basement of Varon Publishers. They didn't even notice me at first. I
leapt into my jeep, slammed on the gas and hurdled the three guys who
had been left behind to secure the front entrance. Coming down in
several rows of tulips, I bounced hard, hit the accelerator one more
time, and shot out of the parking lot.</span><span class="auto-style7" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; background: white"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style34" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1">
</p>
<p align="center" class="auto-style34" style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-themecolor: background1">
<o:p>
</o:p>
<span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1" class="auto-style33">
<o:p><img height="306" src="CC_Varon_Real!_RM.jpg" width="251"></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<o:p>
<span class="auto-style6" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
Masculinely not getting published recently.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p></o:p></span></o:p></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1" class="auto-style33">*</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<span class="auto-style32" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
<span class="auto-style32" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
</span>
</span>
</span>
<span class="auto-style32" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>Monday<o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>The oldest trick in the book is the book.<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Boy, am I ever officially not in trouble at work.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here's the situation as of this morning: the
Agency's Office of General Counsel, on learning that Varon Publishers
Inc. was planning to send out advance copies of my writing without CIA
review, has obtained a court order to prevent unauthorized publication
of 'potentially classified US Government information.'<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Meanwhile, it has become necessary to make Eva, the
breathtakingly, life-changingly beautiful publishing agent from Varon,
stop levitating in public (having read my works deeply and at length
over the past several weeks, Eva has undergone a dramatic transformation
and will now, along with Varon Publishers, have to be covertly
'rewritten'). Note that this in no way implies Eva and your humble
author can't compose wonderful new chapters together in the future ...
if you get my completely non-literary reference here. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It feels good to be a man, a real man, again. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sorry, can't write any more at the moment. Gotta
get up and go take a leak.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">... Standing up, of course. <o:p></o:p></p>
</span>
<span class="auto-style7" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
<p class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1">
<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1">
<o:p>
<img height="304" src="CC_Do_Not_Read_In_Public!_RM.jpg" width="259"></o:p></span></p>
</span>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
<p align="center" class="auto-style23">
<o:p>
</o:p></p>
</span>
<span class="auto-style7" style="mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style22" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
The Covert Comic.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span class="auto-style22" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: white; mso-themecolor: background1">
Avoid publishing him ... if you can.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-fareast-font-family:
"Times New Roman";color:white;mso-themecolor:background1"><o:p>
<img border="0" src="cctinya.gif" class="style16" width="61" height="49"></o:p></span></p>
<p> </p>
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