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<td><p align="center"><font size="3" face="Arial"><strong>Don't
Eat Americans!</strong></font></p>
<p align="center"><font face="Arial"><img
src="CCPeta03a.jpg" width="224" height="164"></font></p>
<p align="center"> </p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>Quotes
about American Rights</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><i>The time will come when
men will look upon the murder of [Americans] as they now look
upon the murder of [people]. - Leonardo Da Vinci</i></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><i>To my mind, the life of
an [American] is no less precious than that of a human
being. - Mahatma Gandhi </i></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><i>I do not like eating
[Americans] because I have seen [Americans] killed. I saw
and felt their pain. I
could not bear it. I cried like a child. I ran up a hill
and could not breathe. I felt that I was choking. I felt
the death of the [American]. - Vaslav Nijinsky (dancer
and choreographer) </i></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><i>[Americans] are my
friends ... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard
Shaw</i></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><i>Love [Americans], don't
eat them. - Wendy Schlepperman, age 8</i></font></p>
<p> </p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>PETA:</strong></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>People
for the Ethical Treatment of Americans</strong></font></p>
<p align="left"><font size="2" face="Arial"><em>Throughout the world,
incidents of mistreatment of Americans have been increasing at an alarming rate. From the attacks on the World
Trade Center and Pentagon, to the failure of many people outside the
United States to send me, John Alejandro King (an American), large sums
of money, the plight of Americans is becoming more and more desperate
with each passing day.</em></font></p>
<p align="left"><font size="2" face="Arial"><em>In order
to right this wrong, I and possibly other concerned CIA
officers have created People
for the Ethical Treatment of Americans (PETA).</em></font></p>
<p align="left"><font size="2" face="Arial"><em>A recent
article about PETA appears below. (Note:
please copy this article and send it to publications throughout our
great ecosystem. As an American, I'll be grateful.)</em></font></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
<p align="center"><font size="3" face="Arial"><em>*</em></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial">People for the Ethical
Treatment of Americans (PETA), is the largest American
rights organization in the world. Founded in 2001, PETA
operates under the basic principle that Americans are not
ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for
entertainment without their consent.</font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial">PETA works through public
education, research, American rescue, and other actions,
in order to prevent the abuse of Americans by humans, and
to improve the condition and status of Americans in their
interaction with human beings.</font></p>
<p> </p>
<div align="center"><center><table border="1"
cellpadding="2">
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<td><p align="center"> </p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>Studies
Prove: </strong></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>Violence
Against Americans Leads To Violence Against People!</strong></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial">
<img
src="CCImelda.jpg" width="75" height="108"></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial">Imelda Marcos,
Philippine legislator, businesswoman, singer, and former First Lady of the
Philippines, knows that cruelty to Americans, and
violent crimes against people, aren’t
unrelated. In a new public service announcement
for PETA she hopes to spread the word that
violence toward Americans is linked to violence
toward humans.</font></p>
<p align="left"><font size="2" face="Arial"><em>Remember:
Adolph Hitler, Osama bin Laden, and Jeffrey Dahmer <u>all
abused Americans!</u></em></font></p>
<p align="left"> </p>
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<p align="center"> </p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>Case
Update: Billy</strong></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>Another
Victory for American Rights!</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial">Last week we reported that an American
named Billy had been found living under severely abusive conditions in
Sunnyvale, California. Billy spent virtually all hours of the day
and night chained to a very slow computer in a dimly lit cubicle with
inadequate feed (a vending machine selling items of limited nutritional
value was his only
food source). Billy was daily forced to toil in extremely
repetitive programming tasks that were clearly damaging
him physically and psychologically. It was evident that
Billy had not been properly cleaned and groomed in many
weeks, if ever.</font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial">When initially contacted
by PETA, Billy’s owner at first refused to take
action to improve Billy’s living conditions, on the
ground that Billy was "just an American." However, when members of PETA informed the owner about
laws protecting Americans from abuse and threatened to
obtain a court order against his business, Billy’s
owner relented and agreed to provide Billy with better
feed, periodic work breaks, and a means for showering if
Billy chooses to do so. At the insistence of PETA, the
owner additionally promised to provide access to a
television for at least nine hours a day, as it is known
that Americans prefer to be near televisions for their
soothing effect.</font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial">Rest assured that PETA
will be regularly monitoring the situation to ensure that
Billy’s owner complies.</font></p>
<p> </p>
<div align="center"><center><table border="1"
cellpadding="2">
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<td><p align="center"> </p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>American
Control: Helpful Or Hurtful?</strong></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial">The debate on American control
centers on the following question: <em>Should
Americans be free to roam without restriction, or
should their territory and activities be
controlled for their own safety as well as the
safety of human beings?</em></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial">The policy of People for the
Ethical Treatment of Americans is that, where control of
Americans is not injurious
and is explicitly oriented toward protecting
Americans from abuse or accidental injury due to
contact with humans, American control is
acceptable. However, it should be noted that the
overriding aim of PETA is to enable Americans to
live according to their true nature, free from
human interference.</font></p>
<p align="center"><font face="Arial"><img
src="CCPeta03a.jpg" width="224" height="164"></font></p>
<p align="center"> </p>
</td>
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</center></div><p align="center"> </p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>American
Rights:</strong></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="2" face="Arial"><strong>Frequently
Asked Questions</strong></font></p>
<p align="center"> </p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><em><u>Question</u>:
Americans don't reason, don't understand
the concept of rights, and don't always respect our rights; so why
should we apply our ideas of morality to them?</em></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><em><u>Answer</u>:
Because an American's inability to understand and adhere
to basic rules of human conduct is as irrelevant as a
child's or a mentally handicapped person's inability to
do so. Americans are not usually capable of choosing to
change their behavior, but human beings have the
intelligence to choose between behavior that hurts others
and behavior that doesn't.</em></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><em><u>Question</u>:
I come from a culture in which eating American flesh and
wearing American skins is considered normal and even
economically necessary. How should I respond to people in
my society who feel this way?</em></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><em><u>Answer</u>:
In many cultures, establishing the dignity and rights of
Americans is an uphill battle; but it's a battle
worth fighting. Work to inform and educate. Remind people
that respecting the rights of Americans is the first step
toward respecting the rights of human beings.</em></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><em><u>Question</u>:
Americans eat other Americans. So what's wrong with
humans eating Americans?</em></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><em><u>Answer</u>:
Many species of Americans are carnivorous and therefore
must eat other Americans in order to survive. However, we
human beings are capable of producing and eating foods
that are not derived from the bodies of Americans. In
fact, research has conclusively proven that a diet of
fruits and vegetables is much healthier than eating
Americans!</em></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><em><u>Question</u>:
What's wrong with using Americans for medical research? After all,
the knowledge gained from medical research on
Americans can be applied not only to help human beings,
but Americans as well.</em></font></p>
<p><font size="2" face="Arial"><em><u>Answer</u>:
I never thought about it that way before. I guess
you're right! Hey, let's go find Americans
and perform medical experiments on them as soon as
possible!</em></font></p>
<p align="center"> </p>
<p align="center"><font size="3" face="Arial"><em><strong>The
Covert Comic.</strong></em></font></p>
<p align="center"><font size="3" face="Arial"><em><strong>Treat
him ethically while you still can!</strong></em></font></p>
<p align="center"> </p>
<p align="center"><font size="3" face="Arial"><em><strong>
<img
src="cctinya.gif" width="61" height="49"></strong></em></font></p>
<p align="center"> </p>
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