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<p></p>
<p align="center"><b><font face="Verdana" size="5" color="#0000FF">Parent
Dialogue Meetings</font></b></p>
<p align="center"></p>
<p align="center"></p>
<p align="center"></p>
<p align="center"><!--mstheme--></font></td>
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<p style="margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5">
<font face="Verdana">
<a href="YouthCommissionSeminarsAndTraining.htm">Seminars & Trainings</a></font><!--mstheme--></font></td>
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<p style="margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5">
<font face="Verdana">
<a href="index.htm">Youth Commission Home</a></font><!--mstheme--></font></td>
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<td width="710" colspan="2"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font size="2" face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">Remember when
your children were young and you relied on other parents for
advice and ideas? Parents have always helped other parents with
everything from tips for getting children to sleep,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>the safest car seat to purchase, the best method of
discipline, and more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For
most parents, the dialogue which seemed so easy and natural when
children were young, is not so easy and natural anymore.<o:p>
</o:p>
<o:p>
</o:p>
</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font size="2" face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">The
truth is that as your children get older and face more complex
decisions regarding alcohol, drugs, and other issues, they need
your guidance and support even more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>At the same time parents need other parents for guidance
and support even more --- yet they utilize each other less! <o:p>
</o:p>
<o:p>
</o:p>
</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font size="2" face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">What
keeps parents from continuing the dialogue that they began when
their children were babies and toddlers?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Is it time? Fear? A sense that they can't change their
child's behavior? Or simply not knowing where to turn?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Have parents forgotten<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>how influential, helpful, and supportive they can be to
each other?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p>
</o:p>
<o:p>
</o:p>
</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">Increasingly,
parents are remembering that they have a tremendous amount to
offer one another; everything from tips to hosting a safe party,
discussing alcohol and drugs, rules regarding going out, and more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>They are opening up and talking about parenting once again!</font><o:p><span style="font-size:13.0pt">
</span></font></p>
<o:p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><span style="font-size: 13.0pt">Here
are three simple steps to help you get started</span></font><span style="font-size:13.0pt"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">:<o:p>
</o:p>
<o:p>
</o:p>
</font></span></p>
<!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%">
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -1.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 99; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica" size="4">Start the Dialogue<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -1.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 99; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica" size="4">Host a Parent Meeting<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -1.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 99; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="4">Continue
Communicating</font><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font></p>
<!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--></table><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<h2 align="left" style="tab-stops: 462.0pt; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><!--mstheme--><font color="#330099">
<span style="background-color: #00FF00">
<font face="Verdana" size="4">Start the Dialogue</font></span><!--mstheme--></font></h2>
<!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%">
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5">
<font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica" size="2">Let
your child know that you plan to contact other parents to hold
a meeting to discuss ways in which you can support your
children and ensure safety regarding alcohol, drugs, driving,
and a host of other issues.<b><o:p>
</o:p>
</b></font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.0in; line-height: 130%; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5">
<font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica" size="2">Make
a list of your child's ten closest friends, and contact their
parents.<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.0in; line-height: 130%; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica" size="2">Making
the first call may take a lot of courage, but it will be worth
it!<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">Tell
them the purpose for your call, ask if they know other parents
who might be interested, and let them know the time and place
for the parent meeting.</font><o:p><span style="font-size:12.0pt">
</span></font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--></table><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<o:p>
<h3 style="margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><!--mstheme--><font color="#330099"><font size="4">
<span style="background-color: #00FF00"><font face="Verdana">
Host a Parent Meeting</font></span></font><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><span style="font-size:25.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font><!--mstheme--></font></h3>
<!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%">
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font size="2" face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">Have
everyone introduce themselves, identify their children, and
state what they want from the meeting.<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font size="2" face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">Establish
guidelines for openness, confidentiality and privacy, and
respect for differences of opinion.<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font size="2" face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">Ask
each parent to summarize their concerns and family rules
regarding curfew, adult supervision, parties, alcohol, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Make a list of commonalities and differences, as well
as areas of concern.<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica" size="2">Discuss
your concerns, and the approaches and rules you want to
implement to address those concerns.<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font size="2" face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">Create
rules for your children's behavior and discuss how to enforce
these rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Whenever
possible establish group consensus on rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Agree on how to respect and address differences in
rules and approaches.<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">Discuss
how to best inform your children of your new approaches and
how to encourage their input in the discussion, creation, and
enforcement of the new rules.</font><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--></table><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<h3 style="margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><!--mstheme--><font color="#330099">
<span style="background-color: #00FF00"><font face="Verdana">
Continue Communicating</font></span><!--mstheme--></font></h3>
<!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%">
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica" size="2">Create
a listing of telephone numbers and addresses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Make a phone tree so that parents can contact each
other quickly in the event of an emergency. <o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.0in; line-height: 100%; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica" size="2">Identify
a future meeting date for parents alone, and one involving
parents and their children.<o:p>
</o:p>
</font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--><tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/copy-of-blends/blebul1a.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5" align="justify"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">Contact
the Needham Youth Commission at 455-7518 if you need
assistance, support, information, or ideas.</font><o:p><span style="font-size:12.0pt">
</span></font><!--mstheme--></font><!--msthemelist--></td></tr>
<!--msthemelist--></table><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<o:p>
<o:p>
<!--mstheme--></font><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" hspace="0" vspace="0" width="100%" height="83" style="border-collapse: collapse">
<tr>
<td valign="top" align="left" style="padding-top:12.0pt;padding-right:12.0pt;
padding-bottom:12.0pt;padding-left:12.0pt" height="22"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica"> <!--mstheme--></font></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="top" align="left" style="padding-top:12.0pt;padding-right:12.0pt;
padding-bottom:12.0pt;padding-left:12.0pt" height="61"><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p align="center"><u><b><font size="5">Host a Parent Meeting
- Sample Format</font></b></u><!--mstheme--></font></td>
</tr>
</table><!--mstheme--><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica">
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">Hosting
a Parent Meeting can be an informative, rewarding, and fun evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>It offers an opportunity to renew old relationships, as well
as a chance to create new supports.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>The goal of a meeting is for parents to enjoy themselves, and
to gain information and ideas for enhancing their parenting skills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>There are many formats from which to choose when hosting a
meeting; on the preceding page is one approach, and below is another
approach suitable for a small group or flexible enough to
accommodate up to 30 parents.</font><span style="font-size:
12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5">
<span style="background-color: #00FF00"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><b><font size="4">7:00
- 7:45</font></b><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">Parents
arrive and begin socializing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Guests
can be asked to bring appetizers or the evening can be a pot luck
dinner. Refreshments and food increase the comfort level and help to
get the evening started.</font><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><o:p>
</o:p>
</font></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><b><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">
<span style="background-color: #00FF00"><font size="4">7:45 - 8:00</font></span><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5">
<font size="2" face="Verdana">The
host family or a designated leader explains the purpose and format
of the evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The
ideal size for a group is 8 - 10; if there are more than a dozen
parents, it is best to break into smaller groups (spouses are
encouraged to join different groups in order to increase information
gathered).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Small
groups allow for the opportunity for everyone to participate.
Guidelines for confidentiality and privacy need to be established.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Each group should identify one topic to discuss such as
alcohol/substance use, increasing communication with teens, family
rules, curfews, driving, school, work, parties, etc.</font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5">
<span style="background-color: #00FF00"><b><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="4">8:00 - 8:45</font><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">Groups
tend to work more effectively if there is a designated facilitator
who can help focus the discussion and allow everyone the opportunity
to contribute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>In
addition, each group should ask a parent to volunteer to act as
secretary to take notes of the information shared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>This person can report on the discussion when the large group
rejoins at the end of the evening (if there is only one group, the
secretary can summarize the discussion at the end of the evening).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Begin by having each parent introduce themselves, name their
children and their ages/grades, state what brought them to the
meeting, and why they are interested in discussing the chosen topic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Remember, the rules and expectations in one family might not
fit in another.<span style="mso-spacerun:
yes"> </span>It is important to respect differences and realize that
parents can all learn from each other regardless of their differing
styles and approaches.</font><b><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></b></font><b><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><o:p>
</o:p>
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><b><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">
<span style="background-color: #00FF00"><font size="4">8:45 - 9:15</font></span><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">If
there is more than one group, reassemble as a larger group and have
each secretary report on their groups discussion (if there is only
one group, use this time to continue the group discussions). Any
member of that group is welcome to add their thoughts at that time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Make sure to leave room for members of other groups to ask
questions about the discussion and/or to add their own ideas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Notice similarities/differences among participants regarding
issues such as curfews, parental supervision at parties, knowing
where your teens are, limit setting, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Try to identify and agree upon common rules and guidelines.</font><b><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></b></font><o:p>
<b><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">
</font></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">
<span style="background-color: #00FF00"><b><font size="4">9:15</font></b></span><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">As
the evening draws to a close, discuss if there are any directions
that the group would like to pursue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Are there other topics that parents would like to discuss, or
are there other ways that this group can continue the dialogue ---
in other words <b><i>where do we go from here?</i></b></font><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font><span style="font-size:12.0pt"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><o:p>
</o:p>
</font></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: 0.0in; tab-stops: -1.0in; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><b><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">
<span style="font-size:17.0pt; background-color:#00FF00">Final
thoughts<o:p>
</o:p>
</span></font></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: 100%; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"><font face="Verdana, arial, helvetica"><font size="2">It
is helpful to circulate a sign-in sheet for parents to list their
name, address, work and home telephone numbers, and the names and
ages/grades of their children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>The host parent should take responsibility for making copies
and sending them to all who attended the meeting.</font><span style="mso-spacerun: yes; font-size:11.0pt">
</span>
</font>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; line-height: 100%; margin-left: 5; margin-right: 5"> <o:p><o:p><o:p><o:p><o:p><o:p><o:p><o:p><o:p><o:p><o:p><p style="margin:1 5; " align="center">
<span style="color: black; font-weight:700"><font size="2" face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">For information or to learn more about this program, </font></span>
<p style="margin:1 5; " align="center">
<span style="color: black; font-weight:700"><font size="2" face="Verdana, arial, helvetica">contact Jon
Mattleman at 781-455-7518 x265 or <a href="mailto:[email protected]">email
Jon</a> </font></span><!--mstheme--></font></td>
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